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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25859002">more than a melody</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreverjohnny/pseuds/suhnshine'>suhnshine (foreverjohnny)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Affection, Aged-Up Character(s), Brotherly Angst, Donghyuck has a Youtube channel for singing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mermaids, POV Alternating, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, disgustingly in love, implied soulmates, johnhyuck are siblings, like seriously they're gross, mild themes of mental health issues, yukhei is a mermaid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:55:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>60,029</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25859002</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreverjohnny/pseuds/suhnshine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Donghyuck feels a little starstruck with their faces so close together. He is strikingly beautiful, especially with the sun streaming into the cave this time. His eyes are a light brown colour, almost golden, and his cheeks are flushed. Donghyuck notices now that it’s not just his cheeks that are dusted with scales but that they also settle in clusters here and there all the way down his arms and torso. They’re radiant, glittering yellow or pink depending on how the light catches them. He has long, salt-slicked hair that sits plastered to his neck.<br/>Donghyuck rearranges his face into something less like he’s just fallen head over heels in love and tries to make himself more comfortable. “I just didn’t really expect to see you again.”</p>
</blockquote>Prompt #21 for Lucas Fic Fest: Lucas is a merman that struggles with wanting to see Haechan.
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>LucasFicFest</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. one</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>firstly, thank you so very much to my wonderful beta who took the time to read through this monster and help me keep going! you're the best!!</p><p>this is the longest fic I have ever written and I poured a lot of hard work into it so I really hope you enjoy reading it! pls get settled, get some snacks, and happy reading :)</p><p>oh! just a heads up—yukhei is 26 and donghyuck is 25 in this, and everyone else is aged up accordingly!</p><p>please leave lots of lovely comments if you can! I would appreciate it a lot! thank you&lt;3</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Donghyuck meets a mermaid.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>	Donghyuck hops down the last rickety wooden step and onto the beach, hands stuffed in the pockets of his khaki shorts. The sand is hot beneath his bare feet, just shy of burning, but Donghyuck is too distracted as he ambles closer to the shore to care.</p><p>	His head hurts.</p><p>	When he reaches the edge of the water, Donghyuck drops to sit in the wet sand, tan legs outstretched in front of him. He leans back on his hands, enjoying the contrast of the heat on his skin and the fresh water washing over his calves. </p><p>It’s silent here. Absentmindedly, Donghyuck traces patterns into the wet sand: gentle swirling lines that rapidly spread around him as he releases some of his pent up energy into the ground. The grooves his fingers leave in the sand get gradually deeper and the set of his mouth gets harder as he draws. Eventually, Donghyuck is just stabbing his finger into the beach, and it’s at this point that he throws himself backwards in frustration, arms spread-eagled across the sand.</p><p>He squeezes his eyes shut against the harsh white of the sun above. Grains of sand dust his face as Donghyuck moves his arm to drape across his face and provide some kind of shade; they tickle his nose and get lost in the delicate coating of summer freckles across his cheeks. Donghyuck wriggles around a little, trying to get comfy.</p><p>As he lies there, one hand across his eyes and the other running through his hair, the thoughts Donghyuck had come here to avoid come creeping back. His fingers twist in his unruly curls, trying to get rid of the stiff feeling of the copious amounts of gel he lathered in it this morning. He hates putting product in his hair, Johnny <em>knows</em> that, but he still made Donghyuck slick it back. He said Donghyuck needed to look ‘professional’ for their meeting, apparently.</p><p>But who ever said curls are unprofessional?</p><p>Lying there under the sun, Donghyuck snorts to himself.</p><p>Though in hindsight, Donghyuck knows Johnny wasn’t trying to be insensitive. Under it all, Donghyuck supposes that Johnny is only trying to help by connecting him to a highly successful publisher. After all, if Donghyuck’s going to be a writer, it’ll make it a whole lot easier if he uses and abuses the large following that Johnny has gained with his own books, right?</p><p>	But that’s exactly where the problem lies. Donghyuck rips his hand from his hair and slams it down on the sand, frowning.</p><p>	Donghyuck doesn’t know if he even <em>wants</em> to be an author anymore.</p><p>	Perhaps that sounds like a trivial problem, easily solved. Jaemin and Renjun certainly don’t see the issue, and even Jeno has begun to shrug and side with them every time the topic of Donghyuck’s future career manages to slip into the conversation. Just switch majors, they tell him; aim for a different star. It shouldn’t be that hard.</p><p>	But it <em>is </em>hard, Donghyuck wants to yell, when he comes from a family of successful writers. When he feels as though he owes it to his late parents to be just as brilliant, just as successful as them. He knows they wanted nothing less than to see their youngest son succeed in the way Johnny has. It would have been the icing on the cake.</p><p>	Donghyuck moves his forearm and opens his eyes. He blinks rapidly, resolutely trying to stare straight at the sun; an ache quickly begins to build at the back of his eyes, forcing him to shut them again just as quickly.</p><p>	Don’t get him wrong. Donghyuck <em>loves</em> writing. But it’s a hobby: nothing more, nothing less. The only reason he pursued it through school is because he felt as though he had no other option. <em>Johnny</em> made him feel like he didn’t.</p><p>	And now it’s his only decent qualification, so what else is he supposed to do?</p><p>	Rubbing harshly at his face, feeling the rogue grains of sand exfoliating his skin, Donghyuck pulls himself into a sitting position. He hunches over, defeated.</p><p>	He wanted to come here to escape his weighted thoughts, but the serene silence and wide open ocean only magnifies them into something deafening.</p><p>	In a fit of frustration, Donghyuck throws his head back and lets out the loudest yell he can muster. It bounces around the small private beach, banging at Donghyuck’s eardrums, before fading into heavy nothingness.</p><p>	His chest rises and falls furiously.</p><p>	Donghyuck forces himself to get to his feet. His legs wobble slightly as he steps deeper into the water. The sea is relatively shallow—you can’t go deeper than your stomach until a good fifty metres out. It’s beautifully crystal clear, an amazing light blue colour. Donghyuck can see his own feet disappearing amongst the swirling sea bed, and finds that a weirdly grounding thought. He takes a moment to just absorb it, to try to recenter himself, to calm his racing mind.</p><p>	It works, but not much.</p><p>	He begins to drag his legs through the water, following the shoreline as it curves round to the left. The water laps up against his thighs and his shorts are thoroughly soaked as he continues his stroll in the sea. His fingertips glance against the waves, creating ripples that unfold outwards around him. </p><p>	Out of nowhere, a chilly breeze whips up and his shirt billows out behind him. Donghyuck presses his lips together and pushes on, despite knowing that a sudden cutting wind like this one can be a bad sign when it concerns the ocean around here. It could also be absolutely nothing, but he was taught to never take that chance.</p><p>If he can just reach the cave—he can see it now, about fifty metres ahead of him and tucked into the short cliff face—then he should be okay until the wind has dropped. But it’s surprisingly strong, and Donghyuck clenches his teeth together as he bows his head and pushes on with stubborn determination.</p><p>Eventually, after stumbling twice and swallowing several mouthfuls of salty water, Donghyuck makes it to the sheltered spot. It’s a little space, hollowed out in the rock over hundreds of years. Having used this as his hiding spot since he was a child, Donghyuck easily remembers how to get up there, and hauls himself up using the hidden footholds and throws himself down in the safety of the cave.</p><p>For a while, he lies still, feeling the cool of the floor seep through his sodden shirt. Donghyuck shivers. With the sun hidden behind an angry cloud, the temperature has dropped like a lead balloon. Donghyuck rolls onto his side and curls into a ball to conserve warmth, and that’s when he sees him for the first time.</p><p>Donghyuck blinks a few times, slowly.</p><p><em>Am I dead? </em>He wonders offhandedly. <em>Dreaming?</em></p><p>At the edge of the cave there’s a deep channel that allows water to flow in and out of the space, almost like an unconstant river. It comes and goes with the rise and fall of the tide. Often when Donghyuck was a child he would come here when the tide was going out and admire all the pretty fish that would get caught in it.</p><p>This, however, is a much bigger fish than Donghyuck is used to.</p><p>He sits up and crawls closer to the water. No, he’s definitely not dreaming. That’s a real person with real scales on their face.</p><p>When he’s face to face with the mermaid, so dumbly close that he can see his own reflection in the mermaid’s scales, Donghyuck’s mind sort of just… gives up on him. Whether it’s because he’s really goddamn cold and wet, or the fact that this creature is just stunning, he isn’t entirely sure.</p><p>“Hello,” he says, because he can’t make his mouth say anything else.</p><p>The mermaid ignores his greeting. “What are you doing here?” He asks sternly. His solid eyebrows are drawn so close together they’re touching in the middle.</p><p>Donghyuck flinches at his tone. Immediately the mermaid softens, big brown eyes widening, and he repeats his question. “I’m sorry. That came out wrong.” He tilts his head to the side as he apologises. “I meant, what are you doing out here in this weather? There’s a storm coming.” As if to reiterate his point, the mermaid gestures to the entrance of the cave where angry black clouds can be seen circling in the sky.</p><p>Looking between the clouds and the mermaid in front of him, Donghyuck feels his heart plummet to the centre of the earth. <em>Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck it all.</em></p><p>“Never mind,” the mermaid says. He clicks his tongue as he stares back at Donghyuck. “Let’s get you out of here. This cave will flood and you’re not growing gills any time soon, are you?”</p><p>Wordlessly, and feeling a little frozen in more ways than one, Donghyuck just nods. He continues to openly stare, eyes roaming from the scales littering the mermaid’s cheeks that seem to glitter even in the murky darkness to the gills on his neck that open and close every so often.</p><p>The mermaid turns round. “Hold onto me, and remember to keep your head above the water,” he instructs, grabbing Donghyuck’s arms to pull him forwards and onto his back when Donghyuck makes no effort of his own to move. Donghyuck finds himself plastered to the mermaid’s wide back, and doesn’t even have time to object before the mermaid is plunging forwards and out into the storm.</p><p>It’s not too bad yet. The wind is the worst, a howling gale that seems to slice through the air like an axe through soft butter: swiftly and sharply. Donghyuck takes a gasping breath, straining to keep his head above water as the mermaid cuts through the water. He swims with a power that Donghyuck could only dream of having; his arms propel them forward at lightning speed. It puts Donghyuck’s struggle to walk through the sea earlier to shame.</p><p>Rain begins to spit on them as they near the shore. Donghyuck’s eyes are squeezed shut tight but he can tell by the way the mermaid’s strokes are slowing.</p><p>“I can’t go any shallower!” The mermaid shouts to him. “You need to get off here, but you’ll be fine, I promise.”</p><p>Donghyuck presses his nose against the mermaid’s wet hair and breathes in the stench of salt for a second before unfurling himself from around the creature’s torso. He manages to find his footing against the sand and barely gets to have a final glimpse at his savior before the waves are forcing him up the shore and onto the beach.</p><p>Hurrying on shaky legs, Donghyuck battles against the wind and the rain to make it back to the steps. It’s only then, hands clutched against his chest in that sheltered pocket against the cliff, that he realises he never thanked his savior. He turns to desperately search for the man in the sea.</p><p>But there’s nothing there except the hungry storm, and a gentle glint of light in the distance.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck collapses to the floor as soon as he makes it safely through the back door. The storm has picked up now: rain slams against the patio windows, relentless torrents sliding against the glass. Donghyuck stares at it through wet eyes, and wonders why it had to be today that the storm came.</p><p>Johnny is on him in a second, towel in hand. He wraps it around Donghyuck’s hunched shoulders and uses the corners to dry off Donghyuck’s face.</p><p>“Duck, are you okay? What were you doing out in that storm?” He asks, using his thumb and forefinger to tilt Donghyuck’s face up towards him. As they make eye contact, Donghyuck finds Johnny’s eyes are wide and overflowing with concern. Like always.</p><p>Donghyuck nods, answering the first question, but Johnny seems unconvinced. “Come on.” He helps pull Donghyuck to his feet slowly, arms out to steady him when he wobbles. “I’ll run you a hot bath, Duck. And I’ll make some tea—oh, and some chocolate? We need to get your energy back up, Hyuckie, you look exhausted.” Johnny continues to ramble as he guides Donghyuck up the stairs, one arm tucked firmly around Donghyuck’s shoulders.</p><p>Donghyuck closes his eyes, letting muscle memory control his steps, and grits his teeth.</p><p>“I’m okay,” he mutters.</p><p>“Huh?” Johnny’s voice is soft, un-intruding, but Donghyuck feels the way Johnny’s grip tightens on his bicep for a second.</p><p>“Thank you, but I don’t need any of that,” Donghyuck says grimly, pulling himself away from Johnny. “I’m twenty-five. I can run my own bath. And I’m not thirsty. I would just like to be alone.” As he talks, he makes his way towards his bedroom door, stopping just before it. When he turns to look back at his brother, he finds Johnny standing helplessly on the landing, arms still slightly outstretched as if he can’t compute the fact that Donghyuck just rejected his help.</p><p>“Donghyuck, I…”</p><p>“Thanks, but no thanks,” Donghyuck says, pulling his lips into a tight smile, and slips into his room.</p><p>A sense of calm washes over him as soon as the bedroom door shuts with a click. Donghyuck leans back against the familiar wood and closes his eyes. The storm still wages war on the windows, but it fades into the distance as Donghyuck begins to finally empty his mind of thoughts.</p><p>The fog in his mind doesn’t want to leave. It’s a guest that has overstayed its welcome and Donghyuck is tired of feeling lost and trapped within it.</p><p>
  <em>What were you doing out in that storm?</em>
</p><p>Johnny’s question runs through his mind like a flashlight in the dark.</p><p>Donghyuck hangs his head, inhales deeply through his nose, and starts to gather some dry clothes from the folded pile on his bed.</p><p><em>I was just trying to escape,</em> he finally answers, belatedly wondering when that will truly be possible. The fog morphs into a headache, low and pulsating.</p><p>But now… now he is beginning to push Johnny away, and so maybe this feeling will start to leave with him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>	It’s two months before Donghyuck returns to the beach again. He had desperately wanted to go back earlier, with every late night thought plagued by the handsome creature who brought him to shore, but his publisher told him that this deadline had to be final.</p><p>	“No more extensions, Donghyuck. We need your manuscript.”</p><p>	Writer's block be damned.</p><p>	So, Donghyuck threw himself into his work without break. Whilst he may not want to pursue writing in such a way anymore, Donghyuck does still enjoy it to some extent, and so after two months of religiously staying up till the small hours—with his laptop screen glaring at him in the darkness and making his eyes ache—he managed to finish a manuscript he’s almost eighty percent proud of. He’s exhausted, and definitely had to force most of those words onto the page, but the main thing is that it’s <em>done.</em></p><p>	In the morning he sends it to his publishers. Satisfied, Donghyuck sits back in his desk chair, clicks every bone in his body and decides to take a walk instead of a nap.</p><p>	Within the hour he finds his feet sinking into soft sand, the heat of the sun gently caressing his curly hair. The storm is thankfully long gone. It ended up only being a small one; only a day or so, with not too much damage caused to the property apart from a minor cliff collapse. Donghyuck goes to investigate said collapse now, wincing slightly at the chunk ripped from the once sturdy cliff and cast aside angrily onto the beach in a broken heap of dirt and rock. It might have been two months since, but Donghyuck is really the only one who visits this beach, so he’s not surprised it’s still like this.</p><p>Making a mental note to get someone in to put some netting over it to secure the cliff, Donghyuck turns to walk in the opposite direction. It might be their private beach but the destruction should be dealt with nonetheless—besides, Donghyuck knows if anyone were to forget and take a tumble down the broken cliff, it would be him.</p><p>He quickly finds himself standing in front of the cave again. The tide is in right now, water lapping at the edge of the small space. Donghyuck climbs up again, heaving himself up and into the cave.</p><p>“Hello.”</p><p>Donghyuck startles as a voice rings out around the cave. He looks up, shifting himself into a sitting position and suddenly finds himself looking straight into the face of the mermaid from the storm.</p><p>“Oh,” Donghyuck smartly replies. He feels a little starstruck with their faces so close together. The mermaid is leaning up on the edge of the channel, the lower half of his body completely submerged below. He is strikingly beautiful, especially with the sun streaming into the cave this time. His eyes are a light brown colour, almost golden, and his cheeks are flushed. Donghyuck notices now that it’s not just his cheeks that are dusted with scales but that they also settle in clusters here and there all the way down his arms and torso. They’re radiant, glittering yellow or pink depending on how the light catches them. He has long, salt-slicked hair that sits plastered to his neck.</p><p>“Oh?” The mermaid is smirking at him.</p><p>Donghyuck rearranges his face into something less like he’s just fallen head over heels in love and tries to make himself more comfortable. “I just didn’t really expect to see you again.”</p><p>Lies. Donghyuck came here just to look for the mermaid and he knows it. It’s all he’s been able to think about outside work.</p><p>“Well. Here I am.” The mermaid grins. It’s a bright, handsome smile that makes Donghyuck’s stomach do a backflip. “I’m Yukhei, by the way.”</p><p>“I’m Donghyuck. It’s nice to meet you,” Donghyuck says, stretching out his hand towards Yukhei.</p><p>Yukhei eyes the hand and then reaches out to shake it. Donghyuck inhales sharply as their hands come together; between each Yukhei’s fingers is a small stretch of thin skin. He has <em>webbed</em> fingers. It feels a little freaky as it presses into the join of Donghyuck’s thumb and index finger. Even when Yukhei pulls his hand away, the feeling of it still lingers. Donghyuck absentmindedly rubs at the spot, staring at Yukhei with his lips parted in awe—or it could be shock.</p><p>Donghyuck is suddenly afraid that they’ll just lapse into awkward silence after that. He’s been thinking about this moment for weeks now, planning what he wants to say and ask and know, but now he’s actually here, his mind is blank. Yukhei, however, saves him. “So. You’re human, right? Can you tell me about yourself?” He shuffles forward, propping himself up on his elbows, and leans closer to look up at Donghyuck eagerly.</p><p>“Tell you… about me?” Donghyuck asks slowly, eyes wide as he points to himself. A silent <em>why</em> follows his question, but Yukhei nods enthusiastically. </p><p>“Yeah!”</p><p>“Oh, uh…” If there’s one thing Donghyuck hates, it’s talking about himself. He squirms under Yukhei’s expectant gaze. “I’m twenty-five years old. I graduated university with a degree in creative writing. I’m currently working as an author and just submitted the first draft of my first novel to my publishers. Both my parents are dead and I currently live with my older brother Johnny, all three of whom were and are also authors.”</p><p>Yukhei nods, gesturing for him to continue. He listened intently the whole time Donghyuck was talking, his eyes never straying from Donghyuck’s face.</p><p>Donghyuck shrugs and rubs the back of his neck, feeling shy in the face of Yukhei’s attentiveness. “There’s not much else to tell. I’m not very interesting.”</p><p>Yukhei disagrees immediately. “I think you are! I think all humans are interesting. You’re kind of fascinating, you know? And you’re actually the first human I’ve ever met. My friends are gonna lose their minds when I tell them I was the first one to talk to a human.”</p><p>Donghyuck hums. “I’m sorry we had to meet like that,” he says quietly. He stares at his hands in his lap, feeling the warmth of the sun on the backs of them as he fiddles with the ring on his index finger. </p><p>“It’s okay. It could have been better, but hey, what’s done is done, right?” Yukhei beams.</p><p>Donghyuck nods, and lifts his head to meet Yukhei’s eyes. “Why did you save me, though?”</p><p>“Oh.” Yukhei’s face falls a little. “I mean. It was the right thing to do. I would’ve saved anyone—anyone would have saved you, you know? I couldn’t just leave you and let the storm have its way with you.”</p><p>Donghyuck isn’t surprised by Yukhei’s answer. He was expecting it. So why does he feel like he’s just plummeted to the ground? There seems to be a selfish part of him that wanted Yukhei to have done it for a less selfless, honourable reason.</p><p>Donghyuck guesses he just wants to feel seen. Like his presence matters, just once.</p><p>“Hey, are you okay?” Yukhei rests a concerned hand on Donghyuck’s forearm.</p><p>The question catches Donghyuck off guard; he hadn’t realised his thoughts had shown through on his face. He debates brushing it off, but when he can’t talk to Johnny and he doesn’t want to weigh his friends down with his complaints, who else can he open himself up to?</p><p>His eyes flick over to Yukhei’s face. Yukhei’s honest, open face; he wears such a soft expression that Donghyuck is curiously drawn towards him. Something in his mind tells him that this mermaid is someone he can wholeheartedly trust.</p><p>At least if this is a disaster, it’ll be quite easy to avoid Yukhei afterwards.</p><p>Donghyuck sighs. “I’m not,” he says. His chest feels <em>so</em> tight right now, fuck. “I am… not okay.” <em>Fuck.</em></p><p>“Do you wanna talk about it?”</p><p>Donghyuck nods once, pressing his lips together. “I think I would.” </p><p>Yukhei smiles. “Shall we go to the beach? It’s comfier and also warmer. Also, my elbows are starting to hurt.” As he stops leaning on the edge of the channel and begins to tread water instead, he reveals the painfully reddened skin of his elbows.</p><p>Donghyuck actually manages to huff out a laugh as he gets to his feet with a nod. Yukhei lazily swims on his back as Donghyuck wades through the water to get back onto the beach; once there, they sit side by side in the shallows, staring out to the horizon.</p><p>“Go on then,” Yukhei encourages him. “Lay it all out. Get it off your chest. I shall just sit here and listen, unless you want me to give you my opinion. I’ll just soak it up like an emotional sea sponge," he quips, pushing his soaking hair off his forehead. Belatedly, Donghyuck notices seaweed hidden amongst the strands, and the way his ears draw upwards into a pointed, fin-like shape.</p><p>He smiles in lieu of an immediate response, but as it falls Donghyuck begins to run his teeth back and forth over his bottom lip. “I’m not really sure where to start, to be honest.”</p><p>“Why don’t you start with why you got a little down back there?”</p><p>So Donghyuck does his best to explain. He stumbles here and there, gesturing aimlessly with his hands to try and pull the words out of thin air when his vocabulary fails him. For someone who’s a writer, he finds it very hard to articulate his own feelings, but he thinks he does an okay job of getting them out there.</p><p>He feels trapped. By Johnny <em>and</em> by his job. He feels alone, a lot of the time, like he has no one to turn to about his troubles; sometimes he feels like he doesn’t matter. Yes, he has good friends—the best of friends—but he doesn’t want to burden them anymore. Donghyuck feels aimless. Listless. Stuck.</p><p>Yukhei listens in silence, letting Donghyuck get everything off his chest without chipping in once, just as promised. When he’s done, Yukhei wraps a damp arm around Donghyuck and squeezes him gently.</p><p>“Feel better?” He asks.</p><p>Donghyuck turns to him and smiles softly. “A little, yeah. It actually feels good to get it out into the open.” He’s surprised at how truthful that statement is.</p><p>Yukhei nods, unusually solemn. “I know I can’t help you in the way you need, but I can listen. I’ll always listen, Donghyuck.”</p><p>Donghyuck sighs. “Wouldn’t you do that for anyone, though?” He asks, parroting Yukhei’s earlier reasoning as he leans back on his hands. The waves swirl around them calmly, and the midday sun is warm on the crown of his head. It’s silent for a second, and all Yukhei can think is <em>no.</em></p><p>He watches Donghyuck, whose eyes have slipped closed, and Yukhei realises that he wouldn’t. It’s true he did it for that reason before, in the storm, but it’s different now. Donghyuck excites him. Donghyuck is <em>human,</em> and that on its own is exciting enough for Yukhei, but Donghyuck himself is just so enticing. He is someone that Yukhei has decided he wants to get to know beyond learning about the world above the ocean’s surface. </p><p>Donghyuck is troubled, and Yukhei wants to help, to comfort him, to see more of that amazing smile he catches the occasional glimpse of.</p><p>“You’re not just anyone, Donghyuck,” Yukhei admits finally. </p><p>Donghyuck opens his eyes and frowns.</p><p>“I would like to get to know you—I would like for us to be friends.” Yukhei quickly clarifies.</p><p>“Well.” Donghyuck clears his throat, and his lips quirk. “If we’re going to be friends, I think you’re going to need to let me have a better look at your tail.”</p><p>Yukhei laughs. It’s clear their previous conversation is over from the way Donghyuck smoothes out his expression; he’s done talking about his feelings. So Yukhei doesn’t press anymore and instead shuffles as far up the sand as he can while still being mostly submerged in the water.</p><p>Donghyuck gasps and leans forward eagerly to get a closer look. “Oh, it’s so cool! The colour is gorgeous. I want one.” It’s the same as the scales on his upper body: pink or yellow depending on how the sun catches them, with a warm orange colour mixed in there to create the perfect sunset glow. Donghyuck is immediately fascinated with how they shimmer, looking like they’ve each been delicately hand painted with a fine layer of glitter. The density of them altogether is insane, nothing like the little patches that Donghyuck has been privy to until now. As the sun brightens for a few seconds, the intensity of colour and warmth Yukhei’s tail radiates is enough to leave Donghyuck feeling winded. He’s awestruck. It’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.</p><p>“Can I touch it?” He asks curiously, absentmindedly reaching out his hand as he does so, wanting to know if the scales are smooth like skin or much rougher.</p><p>A flash of fear crosses Yukhei’s face and he shakes his head, shifting away slightly. “Please don’t,” he requests.</p><p>Donghyuck’s eyebrows draw together. “Why?”</p><p>“It’s like a thing, I guess. I dunno. You’re not supposed to touch another mermaid's tail unless you’re really close family or like, in love.”</p><p>Donghyuck makes a noise of understanding and retracts his hands. An embarrassed blush spreads across his cheeks and his mouth falls into an ‘o’ shape as he recalls the first time they met. “But when you rescued me…” The whole episode is a blurry memory now, so he can’t be entirely sure, but he clearly remembers clinging to Yukhei’s back as they raced to shore. So he must have touched Yukhei’s scales at some point. Which means…</p><p>“Don’t worry about it!” Yukhei giggles, enjoying the red flush spreading across Donghyuck’s face. “It’s allowed in times of peril too—that’s the only exception, I guess. You didn’t touch it intentionally or anything, so it’s fine. Besides, the rule is more relaxed with the scales on our bodies anyway.” He gestures to the ones dotted across his chest and face. “So we don’t have to get married.”</p><p>Donghyuck snorts. “That would be a very interesting wedding,” he admits, and Yukhei laughs loudly in agreement. “Do mermaids have a lot of rules like that then?”</p><p>Yukhei thinks for a second, cupping water in his hands and letting it trickle out as he considers. “Not that I can think of? It’s just that. It’s a sacred thing, I think. Along with giving your special person one of your scales. It’s a promise of loyalty, or something like that. Giving a part of yourself to someone.”</p><p>“That’s cute. Like humans give rings?” Donghyuck asks, imagining being given a scale instead. It’s kind of cute. But then the idea of the human equivalent being a finger nail pops into his head and he immediately rejects it, disgusted. <em>No thanks</em>. He’ll stick to a ring if he ever decides to get married.</p><p>“I guess? I don’t really know what a ring is,” Yukhei admits.</p><p>Donghyuck stares at him, open mouthed. It seems the mermaid-human divide is greater than he had imagined. “I’ll, uh, bring one next time. They’re really pretty,” he promises after realising his own fingers are bare today.</p><p>Yukhei practically vibrates with joy. “There’s going to be a next time?” He asks, shuffling back towards Donghyuck and giving him his best puppy eyes.</p><p>Donghyuck rolls his own eyes, scoffing, but he feels warm on the inside. “Yeah, if you want.”</p><p>“I do! I do, definitely.”</p><p>Yukhei wants to see him again. That’s… that feels really nice. Donghyuck smiles shyly, makes himself comfortable in the sand, and begins to ask Yukhei more questions.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know this is not like.. the most positive way to start a fic, but please stick with me! this is just kind of setting the scene and helping you guys get some context for the future chapters. also, there will definitely be more yukhei after this, including some yukhei pov, I just couldn't figure out how to start this apart from from Donghyuck's pov.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Donghyuck's friends are suspicious, and Yukhei discovers Donghyuck's true passion.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Over the next couple of weeks, as summer begins to mature and the heat intensifies, Donghyuck finds himself frequenting the beach more and more. It becomes almost religious, the way he finds himself stumbling onto the sand at the end of every afternoon to find Yukhei lingering in the shallows. It makes Donghyuck’s chest feel inexplicably tight, knowing that Yukhei is waiting for him.</p>
<p>They’re known each other for what, a month? It feels crazy to Donghyuck, but Yukhei just makes him feel so <em>free.</em> Yukhei is the flashlight that helps to dissipate the fog in Donghyuck’s mind, and for that, he’s grateful.</p>
<p>His friends are too.</p>
<p>Jeno is the first to notice Donghyuck’s change in mood and he brings it up when the four of them are sat in Jaehyun’s burger joint, sipping icy cold drinks and waiting for their food to arrive. It’s early afternoon, and they’re hiding from the heat under Jaehyun’s impressive air conditioning system. </p>
<p>Out of the blue, during a lull in conversation, Jeno brings it up. “I’ve noticed you’re feeling a lot happier recently, Hyuck.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck almost spits out his drink. Some of it dribbles down his chin and he coughs loudly. Jaemin hands him a napkin with a poorly concealed grin.</p>
<p>“You what?”</p>
<p>“You.” Jeno slurps on his milkshake. It’s a chemical blue colour, one of Jaehyun’s nastiest bubblegum concoctions that Donghyuck despises but everyone else (<em>especially</em> Jeno and Jaemin) seems to love. In his opinion, it’s like death in a glass. Death by sugar, or at the very least by artificial food colouring. “Seem happier. We want to know why.”</p>
<p>As if on cue, both Jaemin and Renjun lean in closer.</p>
<p>Donghyuck shoves Renjun's face (it’s closest) and scoffs. “I’m not any different.”</p>
<p>“Objection, your honour!” Jaemin chimes in, raising his hand like a schoolchild. “I’d like to call a witness to the hearing.”</p>
<p>Renjun clears his throat and sits up straight when Jaemin nudges him. He salutes. “Huang Renjun. Witness to the hearing, sire.”</p>
<p>Jeno snorts but doesn’t stop them. Donghyuck crosses his arms and sits back in his chair, one eyebrow raised.</p>
<p>“Exhibit A,” Renjun begins. “Jeno beat your ass in the arcades when we played <em>Dancing Queen</em> by ABBA on DDR. That usually warrants at least one tantrum followed by a rematch, but today you gave him a fucking <em>hi-five</em>. Seems sus to me.”</p>
<p>“Maybe I just wasn’t in the mood for being a whiny bitch,” Donghyuck retorts.</p>
<p>“Exhibit two,” Renjun continues, ignoring him as he holds up two fingers pointedly. “Jeno saw you smiling and <em>skipping</em> when you were heading down the promenade to meet us.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck huffs. “Boys can skip too, you know,” he mutters.</p>
<p>“Yeah, but this is 2020, and no one fucking skips anymore,” Renjun argues. “Anyway, exhibit C: you haven’t tried to punch me in any way shape or form yet today, which is really weird.”</p>
<p>Jaemin hums in agreement. </p>
<p>“What, you want me to sock you?” Donghyuck asks, pulling his fist back as if to hit Renjun square in the nose.</p>
<p>Renjun offers his face to Donghyuck. “Actually, if you wouldn’t mind? It might make me feel like there’s still a chance normality can be restored,” he laments.</p>
<p>Jeno chooses that moment to butt in and grabs Donghyuck’s fist with a nervous laugh. “Can you wait till we’re not in Jaemin’s <em>brother’s</em> restaurant, please? I’d like to hold onto the discount we get.”</p>
<p>Fair enough. Both Donghyuck and Renjun back down, but not without sticking their tongues out at each other childishly.</p>
<p>“Back to the point though.” Jaemin leans across the table slightly. “Something’s up. You’re happier. Or, I dunno, less uptight. Not so eager to engage in hand-to-hand combat? You know what I mean. You’re acting <em>weird.</em>”</p>
<p>“I just don’t see what the fuss is about.” Donghyuck shrugs. “You guys complained when I moped. Now I’m happier, you’re complaining too. I cannot win with you three.”</p>
<p>Jeno takes another sip of his death-shake and turns to Donghyuck. “We’re not complaining,” he says softly, glaring at the other two when they open their mouths to disagree. “We just want to know what’s going on. We’re just checking up on you, Hyuckie, like friends do. We wanna know what’s up in Donghyuck’s world right now.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck looks from Jeno to Jaemin to Renjun, and finds that they’re <em>not</em> taking the piss like he suspected. Huh.</p>
<p>“Uh.” Where does he start with this?</p>
<p>“Is it to do with your book? Or Johnny?” Jeno asks. They might not totally understand the complicated relationship Donghyuck has with both of those, but they know that if Donghyuck is acting weird it’s usually one of the two.</p>
<p>Donghyuck wrinkles his nose. “Nope. They’re both as insufferable as every other day. No, I uh… I met someone.”</p>
<p>Jaemin spits cola all over the table in shock. “You <em>what?!</em>”</p>
<p>“I met someone,” Donghyuck repeats, wrinkling his nose in disgust as he uses his napkin from earlier to mop up the worst of the mess before it gets sticky.</p>
<p>“You—you can’t just say that!” Jaemin gasps. “So <em>nonchalantly!</em> No! You met someone? What the fuck.”</p>
<p>“Who is it?” Renjun asks, nosy as ever.</p>
<p>Donghyuck shrugs. “You won’t know him.”</p>
<p>“Try me.” Renjun narrows his eyes.</p>
<p>Donghyuck glances at each of his friends warily. They’re sitting around the table, staring at him with various amounts of intent on their faces. The effect is lessened on Jaemin because of the cola dripping down his shirt, but nevertheless, he still looks like he’s ready to pin Donghyuck to the floor to get every little dirty detail.</p>
<p>As if he heard Donghyuck’s cries for help, the waiter chooses that moment to bring their food over. He puts their plates down in front of them, already knowing whose order is whose. The four of them eat so regularly here that Donghyuck could say he has eaten more of this restaurant’s food than food from his own fridge.</p>
<p>“I’m going to eat now, so save your questions,” he announces, grabbing a fork and stuffing some chips in his mouth. </p>
<p>“Can’t argue with that. I’m fucking starving,” Renjun agrees, picking up his own burger and taking the biggest bite possible.</p>
<p>Silence reigns for a while till dessert is finished and the four of them sit back in their chairs, hands on their stuffed bellies and feeling blissfully full and sated. Jeno takes the final sip of his milkshake and sighs.</p>
<p>“Well, I’m happy you’re happy, Hyuck,” Jeno says, patting Donghyuck on the thigh.</p>
<p>“Yeah. Even if it is really fucking weird,” Renjun mutters.</p>
<p>Donghyuck smiles. “Thanks, guys.”</p>
<p>He almost thinks he’s escaped any further questioning until Jaemin sits forward, burps loudly, and grins. That wide, sparkly, evil grin. “So who is it? Is he fit?” He wiggles his eyebrows, then freezes. “Wait. It is a he, right? I mean, you said you’re bi, so. You know. Could be a girl too. Either way: are they pretty?”</p>
<p>Donghyuck snorts. “They’re a he. And…” Donghyuck thinks of pink and yellow, glittering in the sun, and a golden smile. “Yeah. I guess you could say he’s pretty.”</p>
<p>Jaemin claps his hands together in excitement. “Oh, Donghyuck’s in <em>love,</em>” he coos. Donghyuck wants to die.</p>
<p>“Where does he work? How old is he? Are you guys engaged yet?” Renjun chimes in.</p>
<p>Donghyuck shrinks in his seat, the knowledge that he has not planned a good enough lie for all of this making him start to sweat profusely. And he can’t tell the truth, God no—he needs to at least talk to Yukhei first. It wouldn’t be fair otherwise.</p>
<p>He surreptitiously glances at the clock on the wall above the counter. It’s just gone two, so earlier than he would usually head down to the beach, but right now he’ll take anything to escape any further interrogation right now.</p>
<p>“Would you look at the time!” Donghyuck laughs nervously, grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. He downs the rest of his drink, grabs a few notes from his wallet and stands up. “I’ve got to go meet him! See you guys later! Bye!” After chucking the money on the table, Donghyuck is gone, dashing out of the restaurant and down the street.</p>
<p>Jaemin, Jeno and Renjun stare after him, mouths hanging open in both confusion and shock.</p>
<p>“What the <em>fuck</em> just happened?” Renjun asks. Dazed, Jeno and Jaemin can do nothing but shake their heads.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Donghyuck is pleased to find Yukhei already at the beach when he gets there forty minutes later, out of breath and sweaty. He ran—well, more of an intermittent jog—all the way here, wanting to make sure that his friends definitely were not following him.</p>
<p>Today is not the day he wants to introduce Yukhei to the only other people in his world that matter. Selfishly, he doesn’t want to share the mermaid just yet, wanting instead to keep Yukhei’s attention to himself for as long as possible.</p>
<p>One day he will tell his friends the truth. One day for sure, but not today.</p>
<p>“Hey, Yukhei!” Donghyuck calls, toeing off his shoes and shrugging off his bag about halfway down the beach. Yukhei looks up from whatever he’s doing and grins, waving at Donghyuck wildly.</p>
<p>Donghyuck feels an easy smile spread across his face just at the sight of the mermaid. He makes his way over, wading a little into the shallows before sitting down in the water next to Yukhei.</p>
<p>“Hey, sunshine!” Yukhei greets him in return.</p>
<p>It’s a silly nickname, but it brings Donghyuck a surge of happiness every time he hears it. Yukhei gave it to him a week or so ago, adamant that <em>Donghyuck is brighter than the sun, his smile is so bright and his skin is so golden he could take on the sun in a fight and win!</em></p>
<p>Donghyuck disagrees, because <em>that’s you, Yukhei, not me</em>, but that’s a thought he keeps very much to himself.</p>
<p>“How are you?” Yukhei asks. He always asks, searching for a truthful answer, and Donghyuck always gives it.</p>
<p>“I feel good. I’m a little nervous ‘cause I have a meeting with my publishers coming up, and that always makes Johnny worse than usual, but I was hanging out with my friends before I came here and so I’m feeling pretty happy right now.”</p>
<p>Yukhei brightens at the mention of Donghyuck’s friends. “Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun?”</p>
<p>Donghyuck nods, trailing his hand across the surface of the water. The sea is especially warm today, and oddly calm, with barely a wave in sight. Quite like a millpond, so blue and crystal clear that every single grain of sand can be easily made out. Fish dart around in shoals, little dull coloured silver things that seem to be attracted to Yukhei’s tail. Occasionally, a few brightly coloured ones come along, and Yukhei encourages them to stay for a while if only to see the happiness on Donghyuck’s face a little longer as he half-heartedly tries to catch them.</p>
<p>“Yeah. I almost told them about you,” Donghyuck admits.</p>
<p>“Almost?” With that, there’s an obvious hint of dejection in Yukhei’s response.</p>
<p>Donghyuck looks up at him, finding a spectacular pout gracing the mermaid’s face. He reaches out, careful to pinch the part unadorned with scales, and squeezes Yukhei’s cheek. “Yeah, almost. I didn’t want to do it without talking to you first. Didn’t want to expose your existence without your permission.”</p>
<p>Yukhei softens. “Aw, it’s almost like you care!”</p>
<p>Donghyuck laughs. “Shut up. Aren’t you glad I’m asking first?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah.” Yukhei chuckles. “I am! I’m grateful. But I’m okay if you tell them about me! Actually, I’d like to meet them one day.”</p>
<p>Raising his eyebrows, Donghyuck grimaces. “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”</p>
<p>“Sure it is!” Yukhei splashes around in the water in his enthusiasm. “I want to! They sound fun. And then maybe you can meet my friends too?”</p>
<p>“I would like that,” Donghyuck agrees, and Yukhei reaches out to squeeze his shoulder gratefully. “Soon, then.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next day, Donghyuck wakes earlier than usual. He sits up in bed, knuckling his eyes roughly and then stretching till he feels like all his bones have clicked back into their rightful position. Then, deciding it’s too early for breakfast yet, he rolls over to grab his laptop from the floor and switches it on.</p>
<p>He squints at the bright screen, but quickly taps his password in and opens the internet once it loads. Youtube is already open in a pinned tab; he clicks on it and goes to his account to check the numbers on his latest video.</p>
<p>Donghyuck’s Youtube channel is something of a guilty secret. It’s the first thing he made entirely on his own; it’s the only place he feels like he can let his true passion explode.</p>
<p>
  <em>Music.</em>
</p>
<p>Every so often, Donghyuck uploads videos of himself singing or playing instruments or both. Sometimes he uploads other, more random stuff—there’s a rare few videos with Jeno on there, and even a couple of the four of them—but mostly he sticks to the singing. One day, he’d like to upload an original song, but he’s still too nervous for that yet, and not confident enough in his composing skills.</p>
<p>For now though, this is enough. As long as he has this channel, he can keep going with the writing. It kind of just makes everything feel like it’s going to be okay.</p>
<p>He navigates to the <em>videos</em> tab and clicks on his last video. It’s a cover of Lost Boy by Troye Sivan, one of Donghyuck’s favourites. He remembers working extra hard on this one, spending extra hours at Yuta’s shop with Taeil, his unofficial voice coach. Taeil had been teaching him how to better control his lower register, and eventually he was confident enough to record this. It took him quite a few more takes than usual, but he got it in the end and he’s still really proud of how it turned out.</p>
<p>He lets the video play in the background quietly as he scrolls through the comments. Already, only a week on, Donghyuck can hear bits that he knows he could sing better now. He winces at the sound of the more unsure notes crackling through his laptop speakers, but at least it shows that he’s still improving.</p>
<p>He replies to a few comments with a smile. The response overall has been positive, which is always reassuring. Donghyuck spots a few regular viewers and makes sure to like their comments in particular before returning to the top of the page. He’s got fifty thousand subscribers so far, which blows his mind every time he sees that number, and about fifteen thousand views on this particular cover. It gives him a little surge of happiness every time he sees those numbers—it’s such a nice boost to his confidence—but he has to remind himself that at the end of the day, it shouldn’t just be about that.</p>
<p>He does this because he truly loves it.</p>
<p>With that in mind, and a buzz of joy about his last cover running through his veins, Donghyuck opens his Spotify to search for the next song he’ll cover. </p>
<p>He’s eager to start practising, so once he’s decided—he eventually chooses Sunflower, Vol. 6 by Harry Styles—he closes his laptop and gets out of bed. He throws on yesterday’s shorts and a clean t-shirt, not wanting to make an effort on his outfit, and doesn’t look in the mirror before heading downstairs. It said on the calendar that Johnny would be travelling to the city for a few days for something book related, so Donghyuck skips into the kitchen knowing he doesn’t have to tiptoe round the house for a while.</p>
<p>It feels nice. Donghyuck chucks some bread in the toaster and grabs the chocolate spread from the cupboard before hitching himself up onto the island. Legs swinging and heels gently bumping against the counter, Donghyuck munches on his breakfast and stares out the window opposite.</p>
<p>The sun is already awake, blazing in the sky. It’s going to be another hot one; this July has already been a particular killer, with Donghyuck becoming reacquainted with the constant feeling of stickiness summer always brings. He sighs, downing a glass of water before slipping on his sandals and pocketing his phone.</p>
<p>There’s a brisk breeze blowing about when he steps outside. Donghyuck hums to himself, re-familiarising himself with the notes in the song. Once he’s stepped onto the beach, he unlocks his phone and pulls up the lyrics.</p>
<p>Donghyuck’s fairly certain he knows them off by heart from listening to this album on repeat for a week, but he just wants to be certain he’s pronouncing the words right.</p>
<p>He sings as he walks. Their beach is deserted as always, untouched and quiet. Donghyuck’s voice soars across the open space, each note ringing out with a rough clarity typical of all his early rehearsals. He’ll sing it for Taeil in a few days, once Donghyuck’s sure he’s got it nailed, so they can smoothen out any parts that need extra work.</p>
<p>Stilling for a second to let his feet sink deeper into the sand, Donghyuck clenches and unclenches his hands and tries to release all the tension in his body. He turns his face towards the sun, letting the warmth spread across his chest and shoulders and pour energy into his veins. In, and out, he breathes slowly for a while before opening his eyes. Donghyuck’s eyelids flutter against the harsh brightness of the sand but he’s smiling, feeling calmer already.</p>
<p>He continues along the shore, singing all the while. As his confidence takes hold of the tune, he sings louder, losing himself in the joy coursing through his body. Arms out, he skips along; he loses clarity on some of the words as his breath shortens, but Donghyuck doesn’t care. As long as he’s having fun, Donghyuck does not care at all. </p>
<p>Donghyuck laughs freely as his voice cracks, feet stumbling in the sand. Then, like a hammer instantly shattering his serene bubble, the sound of someone else giggling makes Donghyuck jump out of his skin. He clutches his chest as his heart pounds against his ribcage. With tense shoulders and his breath caught in his throat, Donghyuck whips his head around, searching for whoever has followed him here. </p>
<p>The beach remains deserted as he thought it was, which can only mean… Donghyuck relaxes slightly as he turns to look out over the ocean.</p>
<p>Sure enough, lying on his stomach in the shallows, propped up on his elbows, is Yukhei.</p>
<p>His wild grin only widens as Donghyuck approaches, shaking his head incredulously.</p>
<p>“Why didn’t you tell me you were here?” Donghyuck whines. He massages his heart, still recovering from the shock.</p>
<p>Yukhei giggles again, one hand covering his mouth. “I was enjoying the show!” He says innocently.</p>
<p>Donghyuck glares at him.</p>
<p>“Besides, you seemed preoccupied.” Yukhei shrugs, unapologetic. As Donghyuck plops down next to him, Yukhei turns to face him more directly. “Skipping around so happily like that.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck flushes. “Shut up.”</p>
<p>Yukhei wriggles closer, propping his chin up in both hands. Donghyuck looks at him from under his eyelashes, head ducked shyly. He doesn’t like it at all when people hear him practise; he prefers to present the perfected end result. Only Taeil has ever heard his voice crack before, and that’s how Donghyuck wanted it to stay. </p>
<p>The knowledge that Yukhei has heard him singing so messily makes his stomach feel uneasy. He waits with bated breath for Yukhei to make some kind of snide remark, and so finds his jaw dropping when Yukhei says the complete opposite.</p>
<p>“You have a gorgeous voice,” Yukhei comments, tilting his head. Donghyuck finds there’s a soft smile playing on Yukhei’s lips when he gets the courage to look at the mermaid. Not a hint of a lie, or a joke.</p>
<p>Donghyuck stares at him for a couple of seconds, lips parted. “But… it was my first time practising this song. I never sound good first time round.”</p>
<p>Scoffing, Yukhei hauls himself into a seated position. “I don’t think so. It sounded perfect to me.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck raises an eyebrow.</p>
<p>“Okay, okay, maybe there were some rocky bits!” Yukhei laughs, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “But for the first time, Donghyuck, it was wonderful. Seriously, give yourself some credit. You have a gift.”</p>
<p>When he doesn’t reply, Yukhei reaches over and gives Donghyuck’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “I mean it, you know,” he says quietly.</p>
<p>Donghyuck nods. “I know,” he murmurs, not quite able to meet Yukhei’s eyes.</p>
<p>A tight, unexplainable feeling sits heavily in Donghyuck’s chest. His hand moves to hover absentmindedly over his heart, thumb gently digging into his chest where the tightness rests.</p>
<p>With each day, Donghyuck feels like Yukhei manages to inadvertently unravel another one of the many tangled strings inside him. It makes his heart race in anticipation and terrifies him at the same time. He wonders what will be the final straw for the mermaid; which layer will be the one that makes Yukhei dive into the sea and never return?</p>
<p>Another squeeze to his hand draws him from his clouded thoughts. Yukhei is still looking at him with that soft, fond smile.</p>
<p>“Will you sing for me?” He asks.</p>
<p>Donghyuck bites his lip, feeling himself stiffen. “The one I was just singing?”</p>
<p>Yukhei nods. “Only if you want to, though.”</p>
<p>There’s his out; Donghyuck desperately wants to take it, to run away from this terrible mess of feelings swimming around his head. </p>
<p>He doesn’t sing for anyone until he’s confident. He just doesn’t. That’s how it’s always been; it’s safe. Donghyuck yearns to retreat to safety, but something about the way Yukhei has laced their fingers together and is unabashedly still looking at Donghyuck like that makes him want to be brave. It’s like the first time they ever really spoke; he knows he can trust him.</p>
<p>Donghyuck takes a deep breath. His eyes flutter between Yukhei’s face—finding comfort in the warm tone of his skin and the way his scales glitter in the morning sun—and his lap.</p>
<p>Somewhere between the two, he finds the confidence to sing.</p>
<p>It’s shaky to say the least. Donghyuck fumbles with the words more than twice, but he draws strength from the way that Yukhei keeps a hold of his hand all the while, squeezing it lightly every time Donghyuck manages to look at him. The slide of the webs between Yukhei’s fingers against Donghyuck’s own is strangely grounding.</p>
<p>Unbelievably, Donghyuck feels the shakiness slip from his voice. Bit by bit, he begins to sing clearer, then louder, until he can feel himself mirroring the grin on Yukhei’s face.</p>
<p>When the song comes to an end, Donghyuck could <em>almost</em> say he feels disappointed.</p>
<p>“Yay!” Yukhei exclaims, laughing and cheering when Donghyuck finishes. Instead of letting go of Donghyuck’s hand as he does so, Yukhei claps enthusiastically against it, sandwiching it in between his two much bigger hands. “That was amazing.”</p>
<p>“Thank you,” Donghyuck manages. “It felt… weird, honestly.”</p>
<p>Yukhei nods. “But you got into it, I could tell. Like towards the end, your voice really came alive. You were brilliant!”</p>
<p>Donghyuck ducks his head again, hiding a small smile. “Yeah. It was like for some reason, I just began to feel like I didn’t have any reason to be nervous. Like you were…” </p>
<p>Donghyuck’s voice trails off, immediately forgetting what he was going to say as Yukhei uses his free hand to tilt Donghyuck’s face up. His fingers linger on Donghyuck’s chin for a while as they stare at each other wordlessly.</p>
<p>There’s a half smile pulling at the corner of Yukhei’s mouth. Donghyuck’s about to make a smart comment about it when he notices Yukhei giving him a slow, deliberate once over. </p>
<p>His throat instantly dries up, words stuck.</p>
<p>Under Yukhei’s gaze, Donghyuck vaguely wonders when it got so damn hot out here.</p>
<p>But then the moment is gone; Yukhei brushes his thumb just under Donghyuck’s lip before retracting his hand and using it to brush his hair away from his eyes instead. </p>
<p>It’s then that Donghyuck realises he’d been holding his breath.</p>
<p>
  <em>What just happened? And why is my heart beating so fast?</em>
</p>
<p>He files the thought away for later, pushing it deep, deep into the back of his mind. Too much has happened already in the last hour—he does not need to read into anything that just occurred yet.</p>
<p>After a few beats of silence, spent staring out across the calm blue of the sea, Yukhei tugs on their linked hands. “Wanna duet with me?”</p>
<p>He wiggles his eyebrows as Donghyuck looks up at him in confusion. “You <em>sing?</em>”</p>
<p>Yukhei rubs the back of his neck. “There’s no need to sound so surprised, Donghyuck.” He laughs, eyes crinkling. “I’m not too shabby, if I do say so myself.”</p>
<p>Eagerly, Donghyuck twists to face Yukhei properly. “Let’s hear you then!”</p>
<p>Yukhei smiles easily, and begins to sing.</p>
<p>It’s not a song Donghyuck recognises—for a start, it doesn’t even seem to be in a human language—but nevertheless, it sounds beautiful. It’s a mellow tune, calm and constant in a way that makes it feel like a warm hug. There’s a slight melancholy feel, yet the higher notes inject it with a hopeful feeling too. Donghyuck admires how relaxed Yukhei is while singing: he leans back casually on his right hand, and in the back of his mind Donghyuck registers the mermaid’s thumb caressing the side of his hand where it still sits curled in Yukhei’s own. </p>
<p>	The fins at the end of Yukhei’s tail flick up and down lazily as he serenades an invisible audience. Donghyuck is very impressed—truthfully, nothing short of entranced—as Yukhei hits the high notes with enviable ease. He feels sucked into the impromptu performance, hooked on every word that leaves Yukhei’s mouth like he’s been hypnotised. Something about the mermaid seems brighter and more enticing as he sings; Donghyuck wants to reach out and touch as Yukhei’s skin glows a golden colour. It’s like he’s surrounded by a cluster of fireflies.</p>
<p>	Untouchable, Donghyuck thinks, as he shoves his hand under his thigh.</p>
<p>	A beautiful blaze, not to be tampered with. Instead, Donghyuck settles for subtly admiring Yukhei’s side profile. It’s handsome, with strong, prominent features that Donghyuck enjoys. Every aspect of him is a lovely honey colour that Donghyuck will never get tired of—even his hair, soaked through with salt water and laced with dark green seaweed, seems to retain a certain warmth to it. </p>
<p>Even prettier are the scales on Yukhei’s cheeks that Donghyuck adores. They trail down from his temple to the corner of his lips, blurring the line between where his skin ends and his mouth begins.</p>
<p>There’s a dusty, glittering pink hint on Yukhei’s lips. Lips that Donghyuck slowly begins to realise have stopped moving.</p>
<p>He’s been caught staring.</p>
<p>That much is true from the smug expression on Yukhei’s face when Donghyuck brings himself out of his daze. Donghyuck feels his cheeks heat up in embarrassment, and he presses the back of his hand to his face to try and lessen it. </p>
<p>He also tries to tug his right hand from Yukhei’s grip, but that’s a lost cause from the start. Yukhei frowns, and will not let go.</p>
<p>But he quickly smiles again and reaches out to rearrange the curls in Donghuck’s fringe. They’ve been tangled by the wind, so Yukhei runs his webbed fingers through them till they hang loosely against Donghyuck’s forehead again. </p>
<p>“How much of my singing did you actually hear, then?” Yukhei teases.</p>
<p>Donghyuck shoves him, careful to avoid touching the scales on Yukhei’s torso. “All of it, actually!” He lies. “You’re a bit hypocritical, telling me I have a gift. I think that’s <em>you</em>.”</p>
<p>Yukhei’s smile wavers slightly. “I’m descended from sirens,” he admits, “so it’s kind of a given that I can sing well. It’s not that special.”</p>
<p><em>Oh.</em> Well that explains why Donghyuck felt like that when Yukhei was singing. He’s <em>part siren</em>. It comes as no surprise really, the more he thinks about it—it just explains why Yukhei is so… <em>so…</em> Donghyuck thinks about how Yukhei draws him in like a fire on a cold night. So <em>like that</em>.</p>
<p>“Still,” Donghyuck says. “You have a truly beautiful voice. What was the song? I didn’t recognise it, but it sounded lovely.”</p>
<p>Yukhei brightens at the compliment, practically vibrating where he’s sat submerged in the shallows. “It’s a traditional mermaid song.”</p>
<p>“What’s it about?” Donghyuck hums, trailing his free hand in the water and watching the way it ripples out around him.</p>
<p>“A love so strong it’s written in the stars,” Yukhei answers softly.</p>
<p>Donghyuck’s hand freezes on the water. He’s quite glad he cannot see Yukhei’s face right now.</p>
<p>Though Yukhei either doesn’t notice his reaction or blessedly doesn’t mention it, and brushes off Donghyuck’s lack of response by continuing to talk.</p>
<p>“Will you teach me the song you were singing?” Yukhei asks.</p>
<p>“Oh, sure.” Donghyuck scrambles up the beach to grab his phone from where he left it lying with his sandals, safely away from the water. He wipes his wet hands on the driest part of his shirt and opens the lyrics again, showing them to Yukhei.</p>
<p>The mermaid nods. “Play it?”</p>
<p>So Donghyuck does, and he sings again, this time with Yukhei joining in occasionally. He’s not very good at singing the actual lyrics, but he adlibs here and there, still managing to sound good while humming to fill in the gaps.</p>
<p>Donghyuck enjoys the way their voices blend together more than he’d care to admit. It seems Yukhei’s siren nature means he can seamlessly harmonise on the spot, deftly complimenting Donghyuck’s natural pitch. Every time he does, Donghyuck can’t help but catch Yukhei’s eye, pleased, and he feels as though something shifts between them. Like it’s slotting into place.</p>
<p>
  <em>Sunflower, my eyes want you more than a melody.</em>
</p>
<p>When the song finishes, Donghyuck turns to find his own joy mirrored on the mermaid’s face. Yukhei is beaming, his eyes crinkling, and he holds up his hand to Donghyuck. Donghyuck completes the hi-five with a laugh, then sits back and leans on his hands.</p>
<p>“That was nice.”</p>
<p>Yukhei hums in agreement. “What’s the song called?”</p>
<p>“‘Sunflower, Vol. 6’,” Donghyuck tells him. “By Harry Styles.”</p>
<p>By the blank look on Yukhei’s face, that means nothing to him. But he seems to like the title at least. “You remind me of a sunflower,” he comments, squinting up at the sun.</p>
<p>Donghyuck snorts. “How?”</p>
<p>“Well, you’re always looking towards the sun for one thing,” Yukhei starts, poking him in the cheek. Donghyuck pouts and lowers his face from where he’d been sunning himself, enjoying the almost uncomfortable heat on his skin. “But I don’t know. If you were a colour, I think you’d be bright yellow, and like sunflowers turn to search for the sun, you turn to look for something—or someone—to give you strength when you’re struggling.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck snorts at the poetic comparison, but really he doesn’t find himself disagreeing. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t lean on Yukhei for support. “What are you saying? You’re my sun? I thought I was the sun.” He raises his eyebrows. </p>
<p>Yukhei proudly puffs up his chest a little. “Maybe? You can be the sunflower, I’ll be the sun.”</p>
<p>“Idiot,” Donghyuck says, but it’s fond.</p>
<p>“I just feel like you trust me,” Yukhei continues. “Like you’re okay opening up to me. Take the singing, for example. You clearly didn’t want to, but you did it anyway. I don’t wanna assume, or anything—” he winks, and Donghyuck rolls his eyes, “—but you always seem really comfortable around me. Like… I notice that you often seem happier by the end of our hangouts than at the start.”</p>
<p>It’s true, but it still feels like Donghyuck has been put under a spotlight on a dark stage. He hates how perceptive Yukhei is.</p>
<p>“Shut up,” Donghyuck mumbles.</p>
<p>Yukhei’s high-pitched laugh rings out across the beach. He nudges Donghyuck with his shoulder. “Am I wrong, sunflower?” </p>
<p>Donghyuck’s heart begins to race again. “No,” he mutters in defeat, ducking his head to hide behind his fringe.</p>
<p>“I don’t believe you!” Yukhei sings, the tiny melody enough to make Donghyuck’s heart stutter in his chest. He can’t quite grasp the reason why, but he suddenly feels overwhelmed.</p>
<p>He stands up abruptly. “I’ve got to go.”</p>
<p>Yukhei pouts. “Do you really have to?” He whines, giving Donghyuck his best puppy-dog eyes.</p>
<p>Donghyuck hums affirmatively. </p>
<p>“I didn’t cross a line, did I?” Yukhei asks suddenly, mouth turned down with worry as he clutches at Donghyuck’s leg. “Because I’m sorry if I did.”</p>
<p>The waves wash around Donghyuck’s ankles as they wait for his reply. After a while he shakes his head, reaching down to remove Yukhei’s hand from his calf. “No. You’re okay, Yukhei,” he replies softly. As if to reiterate that, to ease the distress written across Yukhei’s face, he pats Yukhei’s head, running his fingers once through the mermaid’s hair and letting his hand linger on the crown of his head.</p>
<p>A slow, reassured smile captures Yukhei’s lips. “I’m glad.” He thinks he would rather get a face full of squid ink than upset Donghyuck. “Have a good rest of your day, sunflower!” He calls out cheekily to Donghyuck’s retreating figure.</p>
<p>Stood at the bottom of the steps, Donghyuck just waves back, smiling privately.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When he gets home, he feels compelled to sit down in his makeshift recording booth. Donghyuck switches on his laptop and adjusts the mic to the correct height while he waits for it to load. Once he’s opened the recording program he uses and sets it up, ready for a new file to be made, he pulls himself closer to the mic with the wheels on his desk chair and begins to sing.</p>
<p>For the first time in his life, he finishes and is satisfied in one take.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yes I am aware that abba is not on ddr but we are ignoring that in favour of fiction! all the music mentioned in this fic will be unrepentantly self indulgent so if it's ooc then oh well!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yukhei and Donghyuck go swimming together, and they meet each other's friends.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey, sunflower,” Yukhei greets him lazily a week later. He’s lying in the shallows as usual, propped up on one elbow while his tail swishes around in the water.</p>
<p>“I really need to think of a nickname for you,” Donghyuck grumbles, throwing his bag down on the dry sand before joining Yukhei in the water. He’s wearing his swimming trunks already, so he wades straight out into the ocean, knowing that Yukhei will follow him.</p>
<p>“You could call me darling.” Yukhei catches up with him, swimming on his back. “Or sweetpea. Or honeybun. Or sunshine.” He gasps. “Yeah, sunshine! Then we could be matching.”</p>
<p>“Hey, sweetheart,” Donghyuck calls sweetly, tiptoeing his fingers along Yukhei’s shoulder.</p>
<p>Yukhei splutters. “Okay, I take it back. Never mind.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck pouts. “But you can’t have a nickname for me if I don’t have one for you,” he insists.</p>
<p>Yukhei floats on his back for a bit, seemingly lost in thought. In the meantime, Donghyuck takes a deep breath, ducking below the surface. He squeezes his eyes tightly shut as he crouches on the seabed for a while, letting himself get used to the temperature of the water. It’s pleasantly warm, thanks to the midday heat, but still cool enough to provide sweet relief from the unrelenting sun.</p>
<p>He’s about to come back up for air, chest tight, when he feels something poke his cheek. Donghyuck opens his eyes as much as he can and then jolts backwards, letting out a shout of surprise when he’s met with Yukhei’s grinning face hovering just in front of him. His surprised exclamation comes out in an abrupt stream of bubbles, making Yukhei giggle as they both rise back up to the surface.</p>
<p>“Your face!” Yukhei splutters.</p>
<p>Donghyuck shoves him. “You scared me, asshole.”</p>
<p>“Aw, did I scare you, sunflower?” Yukhei coos, swimming closer to pinch Donghyuck’s cheeks. Donghyuck shrieks in retaliation, splashing wildly as he stumbles backwards through the water. Easily, Yukhei follows, screeched laughter ringing through the air as they play-fight. Donghyuck’s feet grapple for purchase against the sand while Yukhei’s strong tail allows him to gain the upperhand. His long, webbed fingers encircle Donghyuck’s wrists, eliciting a shriek of surprise from him. The smile on his face is immeasurably wide, though, so Yukhei pays it no mind, transferring one of Donghyuck’s wrists to his other hand so he can reach out to tickle Donghyuck’s side. </p>
<p>Water splashes everywhere as Donghyuck writhes under Yukhei’s touch, trying to escape eager wriggling fingers. “Yukhei, Yukhei!” Donghyuck laughs, managing to break free of Yukhei’s grip and bat at the hand that won’t leave his ticklish spots alone. “Stop!”</p>
<p>Yukhei raises an eyebrow. “Magic word?” He asks, advancing closer. Donghyuck giggles and lifts his feet from the sea floor, pushing at the water to propel himself backwards and away. It doesn’t work: Yukhei simply follows, cutting through the gentle waves easily. He sinks below the surface till only his eyes and above can be seen. When he wiggles his eyebrows as he swims after Donghyuck, Donghyuck splutters, flipping onto his front and doing his best doggy-paddle to get away.</p>
<p>Somehow, this ends up being worse.</p>
<p>Seconds after he turns his back on the mermaid, Donghyuck feels two hands gently grip onto his hips. He can feel how close Yukhei is, but notes how there’s still enough distance between them for their bodies not to touch.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, with just Yukhei’s fingers around his waist, Donghyuck feels like he’s on fire.</p>
<p>Then, the grip on his hips tightens slightly and Yukhei’s breath is suddenly ghosting along the shell of Donghyuck’s ear. “Are you blushing?” The mermaid murmurs, the timbre of his voice alone enough to send goosebumps rippling across Donghyuck’s entire body.</p>
<p>“N-no,” Donghyuck protests weakly. Yukhei chuckles.</p>
<p>To Donghyuck’s dismay, this has been happening a lot recently: Yukhei making him feel these… <em>things</em>.</p>
<p>It started out lightly; the odd touch here or there, fingertips brushing against Donghyuck’s arm or shoulders bumping against each other as they sat in close proximity in the shallows. Yukhei mentioned in passing he’s naturally touchy, so Donghyuck thought nothing of it.</p>
<p>But then it became <em>more</em>.</p>
<p>Fingers absentmindedly tracing the length of his spine; long, lingering touches that make Donghyuck’s skin burn. Affectionate gestures that make Donghyuck blush so deeply his cheeks are still rosy hours and hours later.</p>
<p>Donghyuck doesn’t know when it stopped being annoying and started making his heart beat faster in his chest. But if he knows one thing it’s that if Yukhei ever stopped doing it, he would feel a little emptier again.</p>
<p>Neither one of them has ever brought it up, and at this point, Donghyuck is too afraid to. He doesn’t know if Yukhei feels the same, if his heart races at every touch or smile or subtle glance. Does Donghyuck make Yukhei flustered just like Yukhei does to him? Does he try to stretch out their time spent together for as long as possible, does he feel lighter just by having Donghyuck around?</p>
<p>It’s undeniable something has changed. Donghyuck wouldn’t just call them <em>friends</em> anymore. They’re something more, just a little bit more—how could they not be, when sometimes they catch each other’s eye and Donghyuck thinks for a moment that if he leaned in, closed the gap between them, that Yukhei would reciprocate?</p>
<p>Nevertheless, Donghyuck would rather cut off his own hand than make that move. He’ll admit he’s a coward, sure, but what they have now is safe. <em>Yukhei</em> is safe. Donghyuck’s escape. And Donghyuck is not enough of a risk taker right now to try and change that.</p>
<p>“Hey, sunflower,” Yukhei whines. “Come back to me.” He taps Donghyuck on the forehead a couple of times, pining for attention.</p>
<p>Yukhei has flipped Donghyuck around so they’re facing each other now as they float, both hands still sitting comfortably on Donghyuck’s hips. </p>
<p>Their faces are <em>so</em> close together. Donghyuck can see every inch of Yukhei’s face in high definition: the rich golden tone of his skin, the beautiful marks and freckles that dance across his nose, the scales that line his face with glitter. He can see the fragments of sunlight in Yukhei’s eyes, lighting up the dark brown colour of his irises; he can see how a scar on his brow bone cuts a slit through his thick eyebrow. Donghyuck can see how Yukhei shines.</p>
<p>Yukhei smiles softly, and Donghyuck wonders if the look in his eyes means Yukhei’s thinking the same things about him.</p>
<p>“Are you okay, flower?” Yukhei asks, the same sweetness in his eyes seeping into his voice as he tilts his head in question.</p>
<p>Donghyuck nods. “I’m okay.”</p>
<p>“Good.” Yukhei beams. He takes Donghyuck’s hands in his own—Donghyuck is suddenly very happy he’s still able to reach the floor, otherwise he thinks he might have sunk underwater the moment Yukhei stopped holding him—and squeezes them lightly. “Do you fancy going for a proper swim? There’s some cool fish around I think you’d like. Oh, and I want to show you this coral I saw the other day! It’s purple. It’s so pretty, you’d love it!”</p>
<p>The sudden switch in mood throws Donghyuck off kilter, but Yukhei’s enthusiasm alone makes him agree without hesitation. He quickly swims back to shore to grab his snorkel, then they head out deeper into the ocean in search of something interesting.</p>
<p>And despite Donghyuck being a highly competent swimmer, Yukhei keeps a hold of his hand the whole time they swim slowly around the reef.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They swim for hours. Although he usually gets bored quite quickly just swimming around aimlessly like this, Donghyuck finds himself actually enjoying it. He and Yukhei spend most of the time in silence, floating side by side as they admire the fish darting around below them. The sea is amazingly clear, allowing them to witness the explosion of colour and life hidden a mere mile from the shore. Every so often Yukhei’s hand darts out to point at something Donghyuck hasn’t noticed yet, or he’ll tap Donghyuck’s arm excitedly to get his attention when he dips down closer to the coral and plays around with the fish. It’s so endearing, watching the way Yukhei seems to excitedly communicate with anything that’ll stop for two seconds and listen.</p>
<p>For someone as long as Yukhei is, he’s surprisingly nimble. Donghyuck floats on his stomach and watches in amusement as Yukhei performs some sort of underwater acrobatics. He laughs suddenly when Yukhei sucks in his cheeks and purses his lips in imitation of a fish, swallowing so much water in the process to the extent that he has to take the snorkel out of his mouth and pull his face above the surface.</p>
<p>He coughs, choking on the burning sensation in his mouth from the salty water he suddenly inhaled. Yukhei is at his side in an instant, an arm around Donghyuck’s waist to hold him up as he tries to clear his lungs.</p>
<p>“Donghyuck? You okay, sunflower?” He sounds panicky, so Donghyuck tries to nod.</p>
<p>“‘M fine,” he splutters.</p>
<p>Yukhei doesn’t look convinced, and rightly so, because Donghyuck feels like he’s just been drained completely of energy. “Let’s go back to shore. You should rest,” he decides, and before Donghyuck can weakly protest he finds himself being swung up onto Yukhei’s back and carried back to the beach.</p>
<p>Because his throat still feels like someone’s taken sandpaper to it, Donghyuck gives in easily. He relaxes against Yukhei’s firm back, looping his arms and legs around Yukhei’s abdomen and resting his cheek on Yukhei’s shoulder. In return, Yukhei holds onto one of Donghyuck’s hands as he uses the other to power them through the water with ease.</p>
<p>“You alright to get off here?” Yukhei asks. He turns to look over the shoulder that Donghyuck’s face is smushed against, and he huffs a laugh when he catches sight of Donghyuck’s pout.</p>
<p>“Don’t wanna,” Donghyuck whines, feeling childish.</p>
<p>“You’re just gonna stay here all night then, hm? Lying on my back like a baby?” Yukhei teases.</p>
<p>Donghyuck’s embarrassed, but his current overwhelming exhaustion means he does not care. “Yep,” he replies, popping the ‘p’ sound in satisfaction.</p>
<p>“Alright, suits me.” Yukhei accepts this narrative without hesitation, and shifts Donghyuck slightly so they’re both more comfortable.</p>
<p>“You know,” Yukhei pipes up after basking in the silence for a while. “You can call me Xuxi.”</p>
<p>“Hm?”</p>
<p>“Xuxi. It means rising sun, more or less. It’s one of my other names, but everyone mostly uses Yukhei now, so it can be your nickname for me.” </p>
<p>Donghyuck turns his head so his left cheek is the one pressed against Yukhei’s skin instead and ponders this. <em>Xuxi.</em> He tests the name out, and Yukhei hums in appreciation.</p>
<p>“I like it. It suits you,” Donghyuck decides. “How come you have more than one name though?”</p>
<p>Yukhei shrugs, jolting Donghyuck’s face. “Dunno. Maybe it’s a mermaid thing? But somehow I ended up with more names than anyone else. Mark calls me Lucas, ‘cause he’s from Canada. Well. The Pacific Ocean to be precise, but he likes to boast his blood is made of maple syrup, so he calls me Lucas to remind him of being back there. I think his logic is flawed, but he won’t hear a word of it. Besides, that’s where we met, so I let him have it.” Yukhei snorts.</p>
<p>“Mark sounds weird,” Donghyuck says, wrinkling his nose slightly. “I think he’d fit right in with my friends.”</p>
<p>Yukhei laughs in agreement. “He sure would.”</p>
<p>Time passes so easily that Donghyuck doesn’t notice it’s late until he feels a chill ripple down his spine, and he realises that the sun is very close to being almost completely set. He’s still settled against Yukhei’s spine; the mermaid has long since let go of his hands in favour of spreading his arms out to the side to support their combined weight. If Donghyuck tilts his head up enough, he can see the way Yukhei’s gills are fluttering while his face is submerged.</p>
<p>The way their bodies are rocked gently by the incoming waves is enough to lull Donghyuck to sleep. The sun, though it sits low in the sky, is still giving off enough heat to battle that brisk evening wind, and it’s making Donghyuck’s eyelids feel heavy.</p>
<p>In his half-asleep haze, Donghyuck wriggles around so he can more comfortably wrap his arms around Yukhei. He doesn’t really register what he’s doing; he’s always needed to hug something when he sleeps, whether it’s a pillow or a begrudging Jeno, so he’s just acting out of habit.</p>
<p>It’s only when he feels Yukhei’s breath hitch as his fingers begin to lazily trace a picture against his skin that Donghyuck very belatedly realises what’s happening. His fingers freeze in place, and that’s when he feels it: beneath his fingers, the silky smooth of Yukhei’s scales.</p>
<p>All of a sudden feeling wide awake, Donghyuck yelps and pushes himself off Yukhei’s back. He lands in the water with a veritable splash, feeling his butt hit the floor before he’s being roughly pulled back upwards by strong hands gripping under his arms.</p>
<p>As he’s met with the air again he splutters water right into Yukhei’s face. Donghyuck rubs at his eyes, gasping as he pushes his dripping curls off his forehead, and an apology bursts out of him before Yukhei can speak. “Xuxi, I’m so sorry! Your scales— I touched them! I’m so sorry.”</p>
<p>	He continues to babble delirious apologies. Yukhei shakes his head, but his lips are quirked upwards, and he reaches up to cup Donghyuck’s cheek.</p>
<p>	Donghyuck’s outburst slows as Yukhei’s thumb brushes over his cheekbone. “...Xuxi?” He says, unsure.</p>
<p>	“It’s okay,” Yukhei whispers. “Really, don’t worry about it.”</p>
<p>	“But—”</p>
<p>	Yukhei shushes Donghyuck’s protest with a finger against his lips. “It doesn’t matter. Okay?”</p>
<p>	Donghyuck furrows his brow and pouts, still feeling uneasy. He could have sworn there was a rule, something Yukhei mentioned about not touching a mermaid’s scales, but through his sleepy brain and with the way Yukhei brushed off his faux pas so nonchalantly he’s not so sure anymore.</p>
<p>	“I think you should go home, sunflower.” Yukhei's voice is quiet.</p>
<p>	“Must I?” Donghyuck muses, but Yukhei is probably right. Johnny will be wondering where he’s got to by now.</p>
<p>	“Yeah. Look how wrinkly you are!” Yukhei holds Donghyuck’s hands up, examining the way the skin on his fingers has shrivelled up from being in the water so long.</p>
<p>	“I suppose I should go…” Donghyuck stands up reluctantly. The water comes up to his knees, and when he glances back down at Yukhei he sees how the mermaid’s stomach is almost flat against the sand. He wonders how he didn’t notice before; he wonders why Yukhei didn’t mention it, didn’t ask if they could stay further out. “Oh! Wait! I forgot to ask.” Donghyuck crouches down in the water again, wrapping his arms around his knees for stability. </p>
<p>Yukhei raises his eyebrows to indicate he’s listening.</p>
<p>“My friends—you know, Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun? Yeah, anyway, they asked to meet up tomorrow,” Donghyuck starts.</p>
<p>“That’s good,” Yukhei says. “So you won’t be coming to the beach tomorrow then?”</p>
<p>Donghyuck shakes his head. “No, that’s not what I mean. Actually, they… they want to meet you.”</p>
<p>Eyes wide, Yukhei pushes himself up on his palms so his head is completely above water. “They did?!”</p>
<p>“Don’t sound so surprised!” Donghyuck chuckles. “They’ve actually been asking since I told them about you, but I think I’m finally ready for you guys to meet.”</p>
<p>“Finally ready?” There’s a glint in Yukhei’s eye.</p>
<p>Donghyuck shoves him lightly, not meeting his gaze. “I’m selfish, so what? You’re special to me. I don’t want them to taint you.”</p>
<p>Yukhei preens. “Special to you, hm?” He repeats.</p>
<p><em>Why did he have to focus on that bit? </em>“Shut up, you know what I mean,” Donghyuck mumbles, shoving Yukhei’s shoulder again to try and distract from him being flustered.</p>
<p>“I sure do, sunflower, I sure do,” Yukhei hums. “But yeah, you can bring them tomorrow. Shall I bring my friends too?”</p>
<p>Donghyuck isn’t crazy about the idea of so many people, especially with <em>new</em> people too, and immediately wants to reject the idea. But Yukhei is looking at him so eagerly that Donghyuck caves. “Sure, bring them,” he agrees, holding onto the idea that as long as Yukhei and Jeno stick with him he won’t be as stiff and silent as he usually is.</p>
<p>He decides it’s time to pull himself together and make some more friends, or so help him.</p>
<p>“Hey, do you guys eat human food?” Donghyuck asks, an idea coming to him out of the blue.</p>
<p>Yukhei nods indifferently. “Yeah, we can. Don’t need it, but it doesn’t kill us, if that’s what you’re asking.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck scoffs as he stands up. “I might get the others to bring some food then. We can have a picnic, or something?”</p>
<p>“A… pic… nic?” Yukhei says slowly, tilting his head to the side. “I don’t know what that is, but it sounds amazing. Let’s do it!”</p>
<p>“Alright.” Donghyuck takes a couple of steps backwards, feeling excited. “I’ll see you tomorrow then, yeah?”</p>
<p>Yukhei nods surely. “See you tomorrow, sunflower. Sleep well!”</p>
<p>“Goodnight, Xuxi.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Donghyuck is in the middle of preparing snacks in the kitchen for the picnic when Johnny knocks lightly on the doorframe. Donghyuck jumps, the knife in his hand slipping and making the tomato he was cutting scoot across the chopping board and onto the floor.</p>
<p>Johnny huffs out a laugh and Donghyuck glares as he goes to pick it up.</p>
<p>“Need a hand?” Johnny asks, ambling over to the island where Donghyuck has been preparing the food. He stands on the opposite side, leaning his forearms against the cool countertop as he watches Donghyuck continue.</p>
<p>Donghyuck finishes cutting the tomatoes before replying. “You could make the kimbap, if you want,” he offers, gesturing to a pile of ingredients he set to the side earlier.</p>
<p>Johnny nods, easily agreeing, and gets to work. They prepare the food in silence for a while, moving around each other comfortably. They exchange a few words here and there, murmuring to each other about menial things.</p>
<p>It’s… nice.</p>
<p>It feels like the first time in a long time that they’ve been able to share a task without getting riled up. Donghyuck doesn’t want to jump the gun, but as he watches his older brother get on with the task at hand, he finds a soft smile developing and the thought that maybe Johnny has <em>finally</em> taken the hint passes through his mind.</p>
<p>Once he’s done, Johnny deposits the carefully cut kimbap into the waiting container and seals it firmly. Then he pours himself and Donghyuck a glass of water from the jug in the fridge and sits down on one of the bar stools. </p>
<p>“So,” he begins, sipping at his drink. Donghyuck stills. “How are you doing these days, Duckie?”</p>
<p>“I’m good.” Donghyuck says cautiously. He resumes making the sandwiches, carefully cutting them into neat halves.</p>
<p>“Good, that’s… good,” Johnny murmurs. Then he pauses, the look on his face suggesting he’s debating whether or not to say whatever is going to come next. “How’s the book coming along?”</p>
<p>Donghyuck presses his lips together and breathes in through his nose before replying. “Good. I haven’t touched it since sending the last draft to the publishers.”</p>
<p>Johnny lets out a long sigh and sets his glass down harshly against the counter. “Donghyuck… We’ve talked about this.”</p>
<p>Irritation begins to set in, tingling under Donghyuck’s skin.</p>
<p>“Have we?” Donghyuck asks, lifting his head to lock eyes with his brother. “I remember you talking <em>at </em>me, but I don’t ever remember us having a conversation about it.”</p>
<p>“Donghyuck <em>please.</em>” Johnny sounds pained. “You know I’m just trying to help.”</p>
<p>“When are you not?” Donghyuck fires back. He knows he’s being unnecessarily harsh, but he doesn’t remember the last time he talked to his brother without it ending up here, and he’s sick of it. “Have you ever considered I might want you to back off?”</p>
<p>Johnny clenches his fist. “Don’t be ungrateful, Donghyuck. This is a good future for you! I’ve read your synopsis and I honestly think it’s great. With the right amount of work and dedication, it could be something wonderful.</p>
<p>“You’ve got a real talent, Duck,” Johnny continues. “You’ll go far. This book could be a bestseller right off the bat!”</p>
<p>“Mm.” <em>But I don’t want to keep forcing myself to do this. It’s like torture. </em>Donghyuck finishes the sandwiches and begins to put all the food he’s prepared into a bag, not voicing the honest thoughts running through his head.</p>
<p>“You need to take advantage of the opportunities you’re being given right now, Donghyuck,” Johnny says sternly; he jabs his finger against the counter, trying to back Donghyuck into a corner. Trying to make him really listen.</p>
<p>“Yes sir,” Donghyuck deadpans, voice flat. He turns his back to Johnny as he goes to the sink to rinse the cutting board; in the reflective surface of the tap, he pulls mocking faces to release his frustration as Johnny continues his lecture. For the most part, he tunes his brother out, knowing that anything he says Donghyuck will have heard time and time before.</p>
<p>“Hyuckie, please listen to me,” Johnny says quietly when Donghyuck shuts off the tap and turns back to him. Despite everything, the hurt in Johnny’s voice still manages to tug on Donghyuck’s heartstrings, and as he goes back over to the island to stand opposite Johnny he can see how glassy his brother’s eyes have become.</p>
<p>Donghyuck swallows. “What?”</p>
<p>“I just don’t want you to get hurt,” Johnny whispers, fingers anxiously fiddling with a hangnail.</p>
<p>As he slots the last of the food into the picnic bag, Donghyuck sighs. “What if I don’t get hurt, though? If I never try, how will I ever know? How will I learn from it?”</p>
<p>Seemingly defeated, Johnny just slumps down further, shoulders curving inwards. Donghyuck stares at him passively for a while, eyebrows tightened and thoughts circling round like a storm in his head.</p>
<p>Just as Johnny raises his eyes again, the doorbell goes, and is quickly followed by the sound of the door opening and three people tumbling into the house. Donghyuck breathes a silent sigh of relief and shoulders the picnic bag just as his friends poke their heads around the door.</p>
<p>Their expressions barely falter when they see Johnny sat hunched over the counter, but Jeno sends Donghyuck a concerned look. Donghyuck shakes his head minutely in return, and heads over without so much as a backward glance.</p>
<p>“Let’s go,” he mutters as he slips past them and heads though the lounge towards the back door. Silently, the others follow, holding their chatter in until the patio door slides shut behind them.</p>
<p>Jeno is the first to speak up. “You alright?” He asks, reaching over to take Donghyuck’s hand in his own.</p>
<p>He’s grateful for the comfort, so Donghyuck nods both in affirmation and thanks. “Yeah. Just the usual, I guess.”</p>
<p>On his other side, Jaemin slings an arm around Donghyuck’s neck. “Johnny giving you a hard time again?”</p>
<p>Donghyuck hums.</p>
<p>Renjun, who had skipped a little way ahead, turns back to face them. He walks backwards as they continue to make their way down the garden path, familiar enough with the camber of the earth to not trip over. His face is uncharacteristically sombre. “We don’t have to go to the beach today, you know. Not if you don’t feel like it.”</p>
<p>Wow, does Donghyuck love his friends. With Jeno’s hand still tucked into his own, Jaemin pressed against his side, and Renjun’s rare but sincere concern, he can feel his upset and frustration beginning to ebb away.</p>
<p>He puts on what he hopes is a reassuring smile. “No, it’s okay. We can go. Besides, Yukhei would be super upset if we bailed. He really wants to meet you guys.”</p>
<p>Jaemin drops his arm from Donghyuck’s shoulders just to jab his fingers into Donghyuck’s side. “Oho, ‘Yukhei would be upset’<em>,</em> would he?” Jaemin teases. “Are you sure it’s not just that <em>you’d</em> be sad not to see him?”</p>
<p>Donghyuck whines and tries to escape from Jaemin’s scrabbling fingers. “Not at all!” He protests, batting Jaemin’s hands away.</p>
<p>Jaemin just cackles in response, making Donghyuck feel like he lost, somehow. Renjun’s laughter joins in alongside a loud proclamation of “Donghyuck’s in <em>loooooooooove!</em>”</p>
<p>Donghyuck screeches Renjun’s name and gives chase, dragging Jeno behind him with their joined hands. Renjun just laughs and sprints away easily; he reaches the steps down to the beach and jogs down them, jumping the last few and landing softly on the sand. Donghyuck follows as quickly as possible, determined to tackle Renjun to the ground.</p>
<p>But as he makes it to the bottom of the steps, he crashes straight into Renjun’s back.  </p>
<p>“What the—<em>ow</em>, fuck!”</p>
<p>In a domino effect, Jeno thuds into Donghyuck, and then Jaemin. The force of it causes the four of them to stumble forward a few steps with Jaemin managing to end up in a heap of limbs on the beach.</p>
<p>“What the hell, Renjun,” Donghyuck grumbles, squeezing Jeno’s hand to make sure he’s okay. He leaves Jaemin in the sand to fend for himself—Jaemin lies there, sand on his face and in his hair, coughing.</p>
<p>“Look.” Renjun points towards the sea. His face breaks out into an excited smile. “<em>Mermaids!</em>”</p>
<p>The three of them turn to look where he’s pointing. Sure enough, when Donghyuck squints against the harsh reflection of the sun on the clear ocean, he’s welcomed by the sight of four mermaids lazily floating near the shore. His heart picks up in pace and he follows his friends as they hurry towards the sea, eager to get closer.</p>
<p>“Xuxi, we’re here!” Donghyuck calls when they get close enough. Yukhei immediately perks up, swiveling round in the water to face them. The other mermaids exchange pointed glances with each other, loaded grins spreading across their faces.</p>
<p>“Sunflower.” Yukhei smiles, swimming over to where Donghyuck has walked knee deep into the sea. “You made it. I was beginning to think you weren’t coming.” He pokes Donghyuck’s thigh, pouting. Someone snickers in the background.</p>
<p>Donghyuck swats at his hand. “We’re only like five minutes late, you big baby,” he jokes, but the lilt of his voice is a little too flat for the tease to land right. Of course, Yukhei picks up on it, expression switching to concern immediately.</p>
<p>“Are you alright?” He murmurs, searching Donghyuck’s face for an answer.</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah.”</p>
<p>“Tell me later, okay?” Yukhei requests, and Donghyuck nods once in return. The mermaid goes to reach for his hand at that point, but doesn’t look away from Donghyuck’s face and grabs onto the hand that is still linked with Jeno’s. He gasps sharply and retracts his hand like lightning, eyes flicking over to acknowledge Jeno’s existence.</p>
<p>“Who’s this?” Yukhei asks, frowning slightly. Jeno stares back with equal amounts of venom.</p>
<p>“Oh.” Donghyuck pulls himself out of his head and snaps back to the present. “Let me introduce my friends to you. That’s Renjun, and that’s Jaemin.” On cue, Renjun and Jaemin shuffle forward and greet everyone warmly with a wave and smile. “And this is Jeno, my best friend.” He squeezes Jeno’s hand, grateful that he hasn’t pulled away yet. Donghyuck still feels a little shaken. The feeling that comes from one of Johnny’s ‘conversations’ doesn’t tend to go away quickly, but Jeno is always a blessed reprieve from it.</p>
<p>Renjun mimes being stabbed in the heart, dramatically falling against Jaemin, whose face has twisted into an exaggerated fake crying expression.</p>
<p>The mermaids look alarmed. “Uh—”</p>
<p>But Donghyuck just kicks water in their direction, scoffing. He’s seen this show too many times before. “You know what I mean, assholes.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, we know.” Renjun slaps his forehead dramatically with the back of his hand. “You love us too. But just because you knew Jeno first, we’re demoted from true bff status.” He lets out a theatrical sob, just as Jaemin pouts, making a heart shape with his hands, only to then mime it breaking in two.</p>
<p><em>Betrayal</em>, Jaemin mouths. Donghyuck rolls his eyes.</p>
<p>“<em>Anyway</em>, these are my friends. They’re idiots, but I love them <em>all</em>,” he reiterates, throwing a pointed glare in the direction of where Jaemin is consoling Renjun, who appears to still be playing the role of broken-hearted best friend like his life depends on it.</p>
<p>“It’s nice to meet you all,” Yukhei says politely, but it takes him a few moments to drag his eyes away from Jeno and Donghyuck’s joined hands and actually address the three boys. His fin-like ears are unnaturally flushed, Donghyuck notices. It gives him a sort of inexplicable fluttering feeling inside.</p>
<p>“Hey.” One of the other mermaids, lazily floating on their backs, slaps the wide end of his tail against the water. “Aren’t you going to introduce us?” </p>
<p>“Hm? Oh. Yeah. Guys, these are my friends.” Yukhei points at each mermaid in turn as he introduces them. “Hendery, Dejun, and Mark.”</p>
<p>Both Hendery and Dejun smile and nod, and Mark—who had splashed Yukhei earlier—salutes and gives a quiet <em>wassup</em> in greeting. A smile tugs at one corner of his mouth, and Jaemin visibly stands a little taller and broader, suddenly interested; he practically drops Renjun in the water in favour of flashing his brightest, most charming smile in return. Jeno snorts.</p>
<p>“Right, now that’s done… Jeno and I will go and blow up the inflatables we brought,” Donghyuck decides. “Yukhei, you wanna help?” He offers, seeing how his friends are already beginning to sink into deep conversation with the other mermaids.</p>
<p>“Sure,” Yukhei huffs. He slinks behind them in the water whilst they get the bags from Jaemin and Renjun before depositing themselves in the shallows.</p>
<p>Somehow, it’s quick work, although it’s greatly improved by the way Yukhei perks up when Donghyuck finally lets go of Jeno’s hand. Eventually Jeno simmers down too, dropping the protective best friend act in favour of extending an olive branch. </p>
<p>After ten minutes of breathlessness Jeno and Donghyuck paddle out to meet the others again. Renjun seems to be occupied with conversing excitedly in Chinese with Hendery and Dejun, but Jaemin swims over and hoists himself up on the same float as Jeno.</p>
<p>“Alright there, my little beached whale?” Jeno asks, patting Jaemin’s ass before he has a chance to rearrange himself into a seated position. As soon as he’s upright Jaemin glares at Jeno, and when Mark snickers quietly at Jeno’s comment Jaemin’s glare only gets more deadly.</p>
<p>Conversation, to Donghyuck’s pleasure, seems to flow. Like Yukhei, Mark is quite friendly and forthcoming, and dives into recalling stories about their various underwater escapades. Donghyuck laughs along, not really in the mood to join in too much, choosing instead to just observe. All the mermaids are unfairly pretty; it’s a different kind of attractiveness to Yukhei, who Donghyuck privately thinks is the epitome of beautiful. Mark is more boyish with his short haircut, his contagious smile and laughter, and his rich emerald green tail. And then where Dejun has more delicate beauty, with his dusty red tail and pink hair and piercing eyes, Hendery is bold, with dark brown hair and pale skin and a sharp, angular jawline. Aside from Yukhei’s though, Hendery’s tail is the nicest: it has a sort of tie-dye effect. Dark blue and light blue are splattered across the scales as if someone had taken a paint bucket and threw it randomly across a canvas. Each shade of blue bleeds into the next seamlessly. It’s lovely, Donghyuck thinks.</p>
<p>Throughout the conversation, Yukhei has been floating next to Donghyuck, chipping in occasionally. He’s obviously been stewing though, because out of nowhere he tugs on Donghyuck’s inflatable and begins to swim away from the group.</p>
<p>“What—Xuxi?!”</p>
<p>Determined, Yukhei keeps swimming until they’re out of earshot of the others. Donghyuck waves Jeno’s concern off as they go, but he remains confused until Yukhei speaks up.</p>
<p>“Tell me what’s wrong, sunflower,” Yukhei requests. The set of his mouth is unhappy and it takes Donghyuck a couple of seconds to realise that he must be really concerned.</p>
<p>He sighs. “It’s nothing. Just Johnny being his usual self.”</p>
<p>Yukhei waits, allowing Donghyuck to speak under his own steam.</p>
<p>“We argued again. I don’t know how he does it honestly—how does he always steer the conversation to the same place? We always end up just speaking cruelly to each other. He looked really upset this time too, which just makes me wonder why he started it in the first place.”</p>
<p>Yukhei hums thoughtfully. He reaches out to take one of Donghyuck’s hands; Donghyuck plays with his fingers instead, gaze focusing hard on his hands as he rubs the webs between Yukhei’s fingers between his own thumb and forefinger. “Have you tried talking to him about the music? Like tried to tell him how passionate you are about pursuing it?”</p>
<p>Donghyuck shakes his head. “No. I don’t even know where I’d begin. If we can argue like this about the career he wants me to have, why bother with anything else?”</p>
<p>“True.” Yukhei shrugs. “It’s always worth a shot, though, if you haven’t brought it up recently. If him being upset is unusual, maybe something has changed.”</p>
<p>“I guess.” Donghyuck doesn’t seem convinced. “I don’t like doing it, but I guess I should.”</p>
<p>Yukhei smiles. “Good. I’m proud of you.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck scoffs a laugh. “Why? I haven’t done anything.”</p>
<p>“For standing up to your brother, silly.” Yukhei giggles, splashing water onto Donghyuck’s lap. Donghyuck shrieks and inadvertently retaliates, kicking his bare foot out to throw water at Yukhei.</p>
<p>However, he miscalculates, and jams his foot straight into Yukhei’s nose.</p>
<p>Yukhei yelps and reels backwards; in Donghyuck’s own shock and horror he leaps forward into the water. “Xuxi!” He shouts through a mouthful of water. He uses his legs to keep his head above the surface as he turns to look at Yukhei, who is clutching his nose in pain. “Xuxi, are you okay?” he asks, followed by a stream of garbled apologies. Against his better judgement, he reaches out, hands fluttering around Yukhei’s face. It knocks his balance: he has to kick extra hard to keep his face from completely sinking underwater.</p>
<p>Yukhei holds onto his nose for a few seconds until suddenly his face unwinds itself and he breaks out into a grin. He drops his hands, revealing a nose that seems perfect if not for a little redness.</p>
<p>Donghyuck’s mouth drops open. “You asshole!” he screeches, swatting at Yukhei as the mermaid folds himself up in laughter. “I was so worried I broke your nose!”</p>
<p>To ease Donghyuck’s distress, Yukhei calms his laughter and rests a hand on Donghyuck’s cheek. “You didn’t, sunflower. Don’t worry.”</p>
<p>“Why did you do that?!”</p>
<p>Yukhei shrugs innocently. “It took your mind off everything for a moment, didn’t it?”</p>
<p>Donghyuck can’t argue with that, because it’s true. With Yukhei’s help, he heaves himself back up onto the float instead; when he’s comfortably sat in the middle of it he turns back to the mermaid. Yukhei is lying on his back in the water next to him, eyes shut as the sun streams down on them. As Donghyuck rearranges himself so he’s lying on his stomach, Yukhei reaches out. He grabs Donghyuck’s hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze.</p>
<p>“Feeling any better?” Yukhei is well aware that he hasn’t really done anything to help Donghyuck’s mood brighten, but he’s hoping that just by vocalising his thoughts rather than keeping them in will have helped a little.</p>
<p>“A little,” Donghyuck affirms. “I’ll be okay.”</p>
<p>“Nice.” Yukhei smiles. “Shall we go back then? I’m sure your friends will be upset that I’m keeping you all to myself.”</p>
<p>“I don’t mind,” Donghyuck mumbles. Yukhei’s eyes widen—did he hear that correctly?</p>
<p>Donghyuck makes no further move to talk though, so Yukhei takes a firm hold of the float and focuses on swimming them both back over to their friends. As Donghyuck is pulled into the conversation straight away, Yukhei sinks down until he’s submerged and then shuts his eyes, trying to catch his breath.</p>
<p>He’s not quite sure why he got so worked up when he noticed that Donghyuck was trying to hide his upset, but even now there’s an unsettled feeling in his stomach as he listens to the distorted sounds of the conversation above the surface. </p>
<p>It’s only when Donghyuck pokes his head through the water that he rejoins the world, brushing away his own confusing mixture of emotions in favour of socialising. </p>
<p>While he had dipped out for a bit, Jeno seems to have started to unpack the food that Donghyuck brought. Renjun and Donghyuck are already munching; Jeno is offering something to the other mermaids. Dejun politely declines, as Yukhei expected he would, but Hendery seems to be regarding the food with mild interest. Eventually he takes it and has an experimental bite, much to Jeno’s happiness.</p>
<p>Donghyuck leans over and offers Yukhei something. “It’s called kimbap,” Donghyuck explains when Yukhei frowns in confusion. “I think you’ll like it.”</p>
<p>Yukhei shrugs and takes it. Might as well. With confidence, he takes a large bite, and after choking violently—to Donghyuck’s horror—he declares that it’s actually pretty delicious.</p>
<p>He manages to get the rest down while coughing. Sympathetic, Jeno roots around the picnic bag and procures a tall bottle of something pink and paddles his float closer to where Yukhei is. Jaemin shrieks in complaint as he’s dragged away from Mark, but the mermaid only rolls his eyes and follows them. Jeno then unscrews the cap and hands it to Yukhei. “Try this. It’ll soothe your throat.”</p>
<p>Yukhei takes a sip, and his eyes almost bulge out of his head as he feels the sweet coolness slip down his throat. “Oh my God, what is this? This is the best thing I have ever tasted.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck giggles. “It’s pink milk,” Jeno tells him. “Strawberry flavour.”</p>
<p>“Woah.” Yukhei smacks his lips together in appreciation as he knocks back another mouthful. “Would anyone be offended if I drank the whole bottle?”</p>
<p>No one seems to have any problems with that, considering they brought lemonade and water as well, so Yukhei happily tucks into the rest of it. The experience is improved vastly when Donghyuck hands him a long metal straw; Yukhei practically inhales the pink milk after that, eyes starry as he does so.</p>
<p>Once the veritable feast Donghyuck prepared has been defeated, they lie back in the water—or on floats—to let their stomachs settle. For someone who just downed about a litre of pink milk, Yukhei seems to be pretty chipper, wriggling about in the water as he torments Hendery and Dejun.</p>
<p>They spend the next few hours just chatting. Jaemin disappears for a swim with Mark after a while, much to Donghyuck’s amusement, and Yukhei and Jeno seem to bond over their mutual adoration of Donghyuck. He can’t decide if it’s flattering or embarrassing. Possibly the latter though, judging by the look on Renjun’s face whenever he tunes into the conversation.</p>
<p>Eventually, Yukhei and Jeno drift to the subject of music, and Jeno exclaims loudly. “Hey, Hyuck! Didn’t you bring your guitar?”</p>
<p>“Hm?” Donghyuck raises his eyebrows. “Oh, yeah, it’s back on the beach.”</p>
<p>Jeno kicks water towards him. “You should go get it! Serenade us!”</p>
<p>Donghyuck frowns, unconsciously leaning away. “I don’t know…”</p>
<p>“Aw, go on, Hyuck! Give us a song!” Jeno whines, and Yukhei stares at him imploringly.</p>
<p>“Fine,” Donghyuck gives in. “I’m not bringing the guitar out here though.”</p>
<p>Jeno nods quickly. “Of course! Back to the beach it is then.”</p>
<p>Yukhei helps Donghyuck paddle his float back to shore, and once they’ve got everything securely on the beach Donghyuck settles down with his guitar propped up on his knee.</p>
<p>“Any requests?” He asks. “That I already know,” he adds with a glare when Renjun opens his mouth. With a pout, Renjun folds his arms and backs down.</p>
<p>Strumming almost aimlessly, Donghyuck begins to hum aimlessly as he debates between different songs to sing. There’s several he’s confident enough to sing, so he starts with one and switches through them, almost singing random lyrics as they come to mind until it becomes a mash up that somehow just <em>works</em>.</p>
<p>At some point, Mark and Jaemin reappear; Jaemin whines about having missed the start of the performance. Donghyuck smiles as he sings, voice quiet but still confident in the lyrics and the melody. Yukhei and Jeno are sitting either side of him, but where Jeno closes his eyes and allows himself to sway slightly as he absorbs Donghyuck’s rare showing off, Yukhei stares openly at Donghyuck. He takes in Donghyuck, utterly enraptured.</p>
<p>It should really be impossible to be that beautiful.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>that last scene w all the friends gave me hell and took me months to write and I still mildly hate it but whatever it's passable so...</p>
<p>the swimming scenes are two of my favourites though! finally some progress is being made [eyes emoji] I hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Honesty is shared and spectacularly backfires.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey, Xuxi.” Donghyuck greets Yukhei as he flops down on the cave floor next to him. It’s getting late, with the faintest hint of chill amongst the fading humidity signifying the closing of the day. They’re sitting at the edge of the cave, Yukhei in a shallow pool of water with his tail dangling over the edge into the sea itself. It’s high tide and the water laps over into the cave occasionally. Water droplets sit on Yukhei’s tail and they glitter in the setting sun, shining a gorgeous coppery pink colour. Donghyuck absolutely adores the way Yukhei’s tail can seem a different colour at any time of day and how it never appears to be the same colour twice. Almost as though it’s constantly changing, he could blink and suddenly find hints of green or even blue.</p><p>Donghyuck admires the rosy colour of it this evening before settling back on the picnic blanket he brought and making himself comfortable.</p><p>“How was your day?” Yukhei asks, leaning back on his hands. His hair is getting long: it’s rich and dark and hangs heavy against his upper back, with ever-thickening pieces of seaweed hidden amongst it. The wind blows it off his face gently; a week or so more and it’ll be below his shoulder blades.</p><p>Donghyuck sighs. “It was okay. Nothing special, I guess. At least Johnny has been backing off recently.”</p><p>“That’s good.” Yukhei hums. “Have you spoken to him about the music thing any more?” </p><p>Shaking his head, Donghyuck replies. “Nope. He’s been quite busy recently, with his book and everything, so he’s not been around much.” </p><p>It’s only partly a lie. Johnny <em>has</em> been around—he’s been in the house at the same time as Donghyuck, that is, but they haven’t spoken unless they have to. Donghyuck dances round him like a shadow, simultaneously wanting to talk and just disappear into the background. It’s been a good couple of weeks since the conversation in the kitchen, and Johnny seems like he’s just… not really there. Every time their eyes inadvertently meet, Donghyuck can see Johnny retreat on all levels except physical, and then he disappears back into his work.</p><p>He’s not sure if it’s his fault—as in if it’s because of what he said—and he’s not sure if he wants it to be.</p><p>“That sucks.” Yukhei empathises, and Donghyuck snorts.</p><p>“Yeah. It does.”</p><p>They lapse into comfortable silence after that, simply enjoying each other’s company and the feeling of being in each other’s presence. Donghyuck finds it calming, having Yukhei so close. He closes his eyes for a second, feeling the way the evening breeze brushes over his cheeks and runs through his hair.</p><p>He feels a gentle hand patting his thigh and opens his eyes again. Immediately, Donghyuck gasps in awe, sitting forwards. In the short second he wasn’t looking, the sky before him has morphed from a dusky grey to a crazy orange. It looks like the sun has exploded and painted the universe in fire: blazing red fades into hot yellow and burning gold.</p><p>Yukhei finds himself smiling. This inferno of colour is nothing to him: Yukhei has seen every sunset the sky could possibly offer, but this one feels a little different simply because he’s here with Donghyuck. Usually he’s alone, floating lazily and admiring the show put on by the heavens, feeling like it’s all just for him.</p><p>Now… Yukhei’s gaze slides from the skies to the man beside him. The open awe on Donghyuck’s face stirs something in Yukhei’s heart. He can see the sunset’s wildfire reflected in the darkness of Donghyuck’s eyes; he’s drawn in and hypnotised by the way Donghyuck comes alive, skin dripping gold and glittering.</p><p>He’s not stupid. He knows what these… feelings mean. He knows enough about like and love to understand why he feels like he can’t breathe every time Donghyuck so much as turns to look at him. Yukhei can’t pinpoint exactly when he began to want Donghyuck to be less of a friend and more of a boyfriend, but it’s just something he’s kind of accepted now: that he’ll always feel like this about Donghyuck. After all, once you’ve fallen for <em>Donghyuck</em>, there’s simply no way to go back. But he’s also accepted that Donghyuck will never feel the same about him.</p><p>To be honest, it’s probably for the best. How would a relationship between them work, anyway? How could it? A mermaid and a human… </p><p>No. It’s better to be like this, Yukhei thinks. He’s lucky even to be this close to Donghyuck, to be privy to his smiles, his laughter, his sadness and his fears. He’ll hold onto that for as long as he can, in the hopes that there can be more moments like this.</p><p>Moments when it’s just the two of them, sitting together in easy quietude, basking in the comfort each one brings the other. Yukhei likes this. He likes it because he knows their friendship has never just been about him being a mermaid, just as it’s never really been about Donghyuck being a human.</p><p>Then, abruptly, he realises that he’s still staring at Donghyuck, and that somewhere along the way Donghyuck has started looking back.</p><p>Yukhei’s heart drums in his chest. He feels like he can’t breathe, can’t speak, not with those wonderful eyes so fixated on him. It almost makes him want to curl in on himself, shy, but at the same time he feels frozen in place, and on top of that there’s a part of him that wants to bloom under such attention.</p><p>There’s something there, this time. A message written clear as day across Donghyuck’s face, and Yukhei wants to commit it to memory. He wants to take in the image of his sunflower, right here, right now, bathed in that luscious golden hour glow as if he has been thoroughly kissed by a single, potent drop of sunlight.</p><p>As though caught up in his own thoughts, not realising they’re already plastered across his face, Donghyuck’s lips part slightly. “Xuxi?” He whispers, so quietly it could almost be mistaken for nothing but a sigh.</p><p>Yukhei raises his eyebrows as an answer. Donghyuck shuffles a little—whether it’s to make himself more comfortable or to face Yukhei more easily, it doesn’t matter. With every other coherent thought flying out of his mind, all that Yukhei can think about is that when Donghyuck meets his eyes again they are suddenly so <em>close</em>.</p><p>Yukhei can see every dip and bump on Donghyuck’s skin. Every freckle. He could count every eyelash if he had the time, and he almost begins to, but then suddenly Donghyuck’s gaze drops and he leans in and—<em>oh</em>, they’re kissing.</p><p>They’re <em>kissing.</em></p><p>Yukhei is so stunned it takes a second for his brain to get in contact with his lips—Donghyuck’s mouth is pressed firmly against his own, waiting for an answer. So Yukhei replies: he brings one hand up and rests it on Donghyuck’s neck, his thumb caressing the end of Donghyuck’s jawline.</p><p>Then he begins to kiss back.</p><p>The press of their lips is gentle at first, a little shy and tentative, experimenting. Figuring out how to slot their mouths together until the slide of lips on lips becomes utterly, deeply addictive.</p><p>Yukhei’s soul <em>soars.</em></p><p>Donghyuck’s fingers tickle his stomach as they begin to stutter across his skin. Yukhei giggles against Donghyuck’s mouth and pulls back slightly; something begins to burn within him, dangerous and hot, when Donghyuck lets out a low whine and chases after him.</p><p>“You can touch,” Yukhei whispers, staring right into Donghyuck’s eyes. Their faces are so close that their noses brush gently and their lips glance together as Yukhei talks. </p><p>“But your scales…” Donghyuck remembers this time; Yukhei curses himself for ever telling him.</p><p>Abandoning his last inch of rationale, Yukhei reaches for Donghyuck’s hand now. “Fuck the rules.” He grins, and presses Donghyuck’s palm to the middle of his chest, to the rosy pink scales right over his heart. After all, it’s not as big of a deal as long as it’s not his actual tail, right? Right?</p><p>Donghyuck’s breath hitches, glancing down. His hand doesn’t move for a little bit, still adjusting to being so explicitly pressed against this part of Yukhei. Then, he presses in closer, their foreheads bumping a little as he accepts permission and lets his fingers roam.</p><p>Light as a feather, almost teasing, Donghyuck runs his hand over Yukhei’s body. He follows the path of scales, tiptoeing his fingers up to the dip of Yukhei’s collarbones before descending down the plains of his stomach and trailing a lazy finger around the smooth gradient between torso and tail.</p><p>Yukhei, as though he were a pile of kindling and Donghyuck a spark, feels his entire being come ablaze.</p><p>His breath is caught in his lungs as he watches Donghyuck watch him. It’s intoxicating, and he’s drunk on the feeling of being looked at as though he’s someone worth worshipping.</p><p>There’s only so much he can take though, before his heart is pounding with the need to feel Donghyuck again. Biting his lip slightly, he takes his index finger and uses it to tip Donghyuck’s chin up, bringing their gazes level. He can see his own burning fire reflected in Donghyuck’s blown-out pupils.</p><p>“Can I kiss you again?” Yukhei asks, and his voice comes out rough, the dark timbre of it echoing through the cave and magnifying the question.</p><p>Donghyuck sucks in a breath. “God, that’s hot,” he mutters, and pulls Yukhei in by the back of his neck to kiss him again. </p><p>It’s instantly all-consuming, enthusiasm filling in the gaps left by lack of expertise. Yukhei presses forward, deeper, but it’s Donghyuck who tugs hotly at his bottom lip and slips his tongue in first.</p><p>Yukhei gasps, feeling his brain melt. He’s putty in Donghyuck’s hands, which have moved to settle on the slight curve of his waist, a thumb digging into Yukhei’s skin every time Yukhei tries to take command. It’s a silent reprimand, a reminder. Donghyuck is in control.</p><p>Yukhei loves it.</p><p>He slips his hand behind Donghyuck slightly, leaning heavily on it to allow himself to press closer, practically moulding himself to Donghyuck’s smaller frame. Donghyuck whines at the sudden proximity, shifting slightly but not breaking the kiss, which has turned slow and languid. The lazy slide of lips on lips is punctuated only by the occasional quiet, breathy gasp from Yukhei—but once, quite loudly and satisfyingly from Donghyuck too, when Yukhei cheekily nips at Donghyuck’s top lip and glances his thumb across the skin hidden underneath his shirt.</p><p>It’s delicious, and Yukhei relishes the sound as he swallows it. Kissing Donghyuck is exhilarating. It’s quickly almost becoming Yukhei’s favourite thing to do—he smiles against Donghyuck’s mouth, giggling in between kisses, and Donghyuck just sighs and kisses him harder to shut him up. Yukhei retaliates by sliding his hand under the hem of Donghyuck’s shorts.</p><p>Donghyuck’s entire being shivers, every nerve graced by Yukhei’s exploring fingers on the inside of his thigh alight and tingling. “Fuck, Xuxi,” he says, body sagging slightly.</p><p>His stomach flips. “Shall I stop?” Yukhei murmurs, kissing gently up Donghyuck’s jawline until he’s lingering by Donghyuck’s ear. “Do you want me to stop?” He whispers.</p><p>Donghyuck shakes his head. “Don’t,” he requests, gripping Yukhei’s shoulders for support as the mermaid sucks lightly at a spot just below his ear. It makes him feel stupidly warm all over, and he goes pliant in Yukhei’s hold; Donghyuck is just as affected by Yukhei as the mermaid is by him.</p><p>Smug, Yukhei brushes his nose over the spot where a bruise will soon appear and lifts his head to chase Donghyuck’s lips again. Donghyuck indulges him for a while, allowing kisses to increase in their fervour and hands to roam further over hidden, undiscovered territory. His shirt rides higher, higher, until Donghyuck decides he’s had enough and grips the juncture of Yukhei’s neck and shoulder a little roughly.</p><p>He kisses down the front of Yukhei’s throat. The mermaid throws his head back to allow Donghyuck better access, squeezing his eyes shut and sighing silent cries of appreciation through parted lips as Donghyuck fully appreciates the dips of Yukhei’s collarbones and the smooth expanse of his chest.</p><p>It’s as if time has suspended them in this moment, high on these tiny, tingling waves of pleasure. They’re caught in a bubble, losing themselves in each other’s honesty, becoming unravelled and discovering little by little. The cave is filled with the sounds of the waves lapping against the rocks below, the slide of hands on skin, and the smell of damp and salt is strong in the air. It’s rich, it’s raw, it’s electrifying.</p><p>The sunset has been left behind in favour of something heady, something like <em>desire</em>.</p><p>And then, in the same way it arrived—unexpected, and instant—the moment shatters completely.</p><p>Donghyuck’s mouth grazes sinfully over the scales littered across the skin of Yukhei’s shoulder, and Yukhei is slammed back into reality in much the same way as a ten foot wave crashes onto a beach.</p><p>There’s a roaring sound in his ears as he snatches his hands from Donghyuck’s skin, suddenly terrified. Donghyuck pulls back, confusion written in the twist of his face and hurt hidden somewhere beneath.</p><p>He’s ruined it. Yukhei takes a moment to breathe. <em>Fuck</em>.</p><p>“Xuxi?” Donghyuck’s voice is small. He presses his lips together a few times, drawing Yukhei’s attention to just how red and slick they look. His heart stutters in his chest, erratic and conflicted.</p><p>It had felt like nothing else mattered. Like the only thing that did matter was the way Donghyuck felt under his hands, against his mouth. And then… and then he had kissed his scales.</p><p>It immediately intensified everything, and for all the wrong reasons. Yukhei had suddenly felt like he’d been caught in a riptide, so jarringly yanked from the good and into the realisation that this is all way, way too fucking fast.</p><p>He’s already decided that they can’t make this serious. It won’t work, can’t work—he won’t put Donghyuck through that. The divide, the separation: it’s not what he deserves. Yet one small kiss to one particular section of skin had basically catapulted them straight to marriage.</p><p>Yukhei’s head is pounding. This is too much, way too fast.</p><p>Donghyuck is still staring at him with the same expression. Eyebrows pinched slightly, corners of his lips turned down. Not understanding—no, worse, <em>misunderstanding</em>.</p><p>Yukhei struggles to rearrange his features into something reassuring. “It’s okay, flower.”</p><p>Donghyuck remains unconvinced, and begins to nibble on his bottom lip. “Are you sure? I just—it was the scales, wasn’t it? I mean, I just thought—you said—I shouldn’t have assumed. I’m sorry.”</p><p>Unable to help himself, and hating himself more with every word that spills out of Donghyuck’s mouth, Yukhei reaches out and laces his fingers with Donghyuck’s. “I said it’s okay,” he repeats, more firmly this time. “You did nothing wrong. You weren’t to know.”</p><p>It seems to get through. The tension bleeds from Donghyuck’s face and he smiles. “Okay.”</p><p>There’s a beat of silence, held back from being uncomfortable by the sound of the gently rolling waves nearby. Yukhei wars with himself; Donghyuck gathers all his confidence.</p><p>Eventually, he speaks up, eyes sparkling with hope. “Can I tell you something?”</p><p>Yukhei can feel apprehension taking every inch of him in a tight grip, but he’s never been able to say no to Donghyuck. “Of course.”</p><p>Donghyuck takes a deep breath. “I like you.”</p><p>Yukhei’s heart simultaneously wants to sing with joy and plummet through the bottom of his ribcage and splatter across the cave floor.</p><p>“I really like you,” Donghyuck continues without pausing. “For so many reasons. You make me feel confident. Like I’m really worth something. But it’s more than that.” He does that thing that Yukhei thinks is really cute, that thing when he gestures aimlessly, stuck for words. “You’re just so. <em>You</em>. Wonderful, bright, addicting.” And then, with a radiant smile and a little huff of laughter, as if he doesn’t take himself too seriously: “I’m the sunflower to your sun, Xuxi.”</p><p>God, Yukhei likes him so much. </p><p>But that feeling of fear and of worry still courses in his veins, and so he can only shake his head, a sad smile painted on his face. He can’t lead him on.</p><p>Donghyuck’s own happiness seems to shatter at the sight of it. “What’s wrong?” He asks, moving into a kneeling position and leaning forward slightly. “I just thought… Did I misread this? I thought it meant you liked me back.” Now it’s Donghyuck’s turn to look scared. He pales slightly. “You said I could touch your scales. I really thought…” His voice is barely there to start with, and even though it trails off into nothing, the silence is deafening.</p><p><em>What have I done</em>, Yukhei thinks. <em>I’ve ruined everything.</em></p><p>Donghyuck can’t quite seem to meet Yukhei’s eyes. Dusk has more than settled in now, replacing that golden glow with a dusty grey shadow that casts itself throughout the cave. The way it catches the rises and falls of Donghyuck’s profile is almost haunting. It accentuates his defeat, highlights the very moment Donghyuck takes Yukhei’s silence as rejection and makes it land like a punch to the face.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” is all Donghyuck says. “I’m… I’m going to go now.”</p><p>He runs a hand through his hair, smooths his t-shirt out and hops down from the cave and onto the rocks below. With one last glance over his shoulder at Yukhei, who remains winded and frozen where they kissed not even five minutes ago, he disappears into the night.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“You, my dude, are a fucking idiot.”</p><p>That’s the first thing Hendery says to him once Yukhei manages to find the courage to recount the event to his friends at dawn the next day. The Donghyuck Disaster, Mark dubs it. It’s not very creative, Yukhei thinks disparagingly, and he does not like it one bit.</p><p>Yukhei pretends to smack him. Hendery screeches and darts to hide Dejun, who in turn looks severely unimpressed. “Do you think I don’t know that?”</p><p>“Clearly not!” Hendery says over Dejun’s shoulder. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t have done it! You’d have taken him in your arms, announced that you’re absolutely head over tail fin for him, and then continued what sounds like a very spicy make out sesh!” He cries indignantly.</p><p>Yukhei closes his eyes and sighs. He kind of regrets telling his friends as much as he did about that particular part of their evening, but they’d put his face uncomfortably close to the claws of an unnervingly large crab as a threat, so he’d given in pretty quickly. Yukhei <em>hates</em> crabs.</p><p>“It’s just not that easy,” Yukhei says, resigning himself. </p><p>Mark rolls his eyes. “I don’t see why it isn’t.” He plucks a thick strand of seaweed from the seabed just below them and begins to shred it methodically. “There’s history of it working out.”</p><p>Yukhei narrows his eyes. “There’s more history of it not working out, and besides, it’s not just that. Donghyuck deserves more. More than a relationship with someone stuck in the ocean.”</p><p>“That’s not strictly true though, is it—”</p><p>Yukhei glares at Mark. “He deserves to date someone who knows how to take him to the movies, to a restaurant. How to cook him dinner or drive him to work.” Yukhei fiddles with the webs between his fingers, hating the way the feeling of being useless gets under his skin.</p><p>“I think,” Dejun clears his throat, speaking up for the first time since they broached this topic, “that what Donghyuck deserves is to be allowed to decide for himself.”</p><p>Yukhei waves him off, ignoring the way both Mark and Hendery make enthusiastic noises of agreement. “I don’t think he understands what he’d be getting himself into, really. He’d get tired quickly.”</p><p>“How long have you guys known each other now?” Mark asks. The piece of seaweed has been reduced to nothing but an inch square; Mark holds it up to his face as if inspecting it as he asks his question, then promptly lets go and watches it get carried away by the gentle current.</p><p>Yukhei shrugs. “Like, two months?” <em>Just over, actually. Best two months of my life.</em></p><p>“So he had two months to decide he was tired of you!” Hendery cries. “And yet what did he do? He started visiting you every day, and then, when he decided he wanted to share you—fucking <em>share you</em>, might I repeat—he introduced you to his friends! That’s like meeting the parents!”</p><p>Yukhei is starting to get very sick of Hendery’s tone. “I disagr—”</p><p>“It would be quite nice to be able to keep meeting his friends without it being awkward,” Mark muses, mostly to himself as he strokes his chin with another thick piece of seaweed.</p><p>Dejun snorts inelegantly.</p><p>“Yeah, and Mark has a fat crush on one of Donghyuck’s friends anyway, so breaking up with Donghyuck would shit all over that, too.”</p><p>Mark straightens up, frowning. “I do not!”</p><p>“Oh, you so do,” Hendery shoots back, already ducking to hide behind Dejun, who just scowls.</p><p>“We all know you do.” Dejun intervenes before Mark can close his hands around Hendery’s neck. “So don’t pretend that you don’t. You’ll just be embarrassing yourself.”</p><p>Thoroughly put in his place, Mark folds his arms, his whole face tinged pink.</p><p>“We’re not dating,” Yukhei says finally.</p><p>“What?” The three of them look at him, confused.</p><p>“You said ‘breaking up with Donghyuck’,” Yukhei explains. “To do that, we would have to be dating first.”</p><p>“Yeah, but come on.” Hendery leans his elbows on Dejun’s shoulders and his chin on the crown of his head, letting his tail float out lazily behind him. “You guys were practically joined at the hip. Anyone could have mistaken your friendship as a relationship.”</p><p>Yukhei can’t really argue with that. As much as he rejects it, he’ll never be able to deny the truth: it had felt like a relationship. And that felt okay, amazing even, until it got real.</p><p>Too real.</p><p>“He thinks I rejected him, anyway. He thinks I don’t like him like that.”</p><p>“That’s easily fixed! You just go up to him, say these three words: I like you, and then give him the sloppiest kiss imaginable. Top marks for clarity!” Hendery exclaims. There’s a slight strain to his voice this time.</p><p>“It’s not that simple, though.”</p><p>“Why? Why is it not?” Hendery doesn’t understand! Doesn’t understand how to get it through his friend’s thick skull that it really is as simple as he needs it to be—love is simple, in Hendery’s opinion, when you break it down. Hendery wants to throttle him. He doesn’t understand why Yukhei is just so unwilling to put himself out there and <em>try</em>. He himself is the one making things difficult, not his tail or his gills.</p><p>Dejun wriggles closer, seemingly sympathising with Yukhei’s obvious raging inner turmoil. “There’s plenty of ways to make this work out, Yukhei,” he murmurs, placing a gentle hand on Yukhei’s shoulder.</p><p>Yukhei kind of sags. He feels like piece by piece he’s crumbling, worn down by the weight of the war in his head. “But at the end of the day, I’ll always be a fucking mermaid, won’t I?”</p><p>The three other mermaids visibly flinch.</p><p>“There are ways, Yukhei, it’s not actually that hard—”</p><p>But Yukhei is shaking his head, eyes squeezed shut. Bubbles whirl around him as he does so. His hair swirls in the water, floating suspended like petals unfurling from a flower. “I’m sorry. I can’t. I can’t.”</p><p>With as much power as he can muster, Yukhei turns and gives one huge push with his tail to propel himself into the distance. His friends watch in shock as he swims away, pushed backwards slightly by the force of Yukhei’s movement through the water.</p><p>“He’s running away from this,” Mark says, watching after his friend sadly.</p><p>Dejun hums in agreement, and shares his own thoughts softly. “He’s scared.”</p><p>Hendery snorts. “I think you mean he’s fucking <em>terrified</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Despite wanting nothing more than to retreat to his bed, to nurse the weeping wound in his chest and wallow in the sorrows of his crushed heart, Donghyuck ends up dragging himself down to the beach.</p><p>He can’t help it. He tried to go to bed, he really did, and that’s where he truly wants to be, but it felt so goddamn wrong it made his stomach churn.</p><p>So, giving in to routine, Donghyuck is now descending the wooden cliff steps on shaking legs.</p><p>He doesn’t really know what's going to happen when he comes face to face with Yukhei again. Certainly he has no idea what he’s going to say, but he’s hoping that with the familiarity of the coastline’s baking sun on his back and the grounding firmness of the sand beneath his feet, he’ll figure it out.</p><p>It’s quiet. Ahead of him, the waves lap at the shore pathetically, barely white with bubbles. There’s not another soul for miles, and right now, Donghyuck can feel the full brunt of it. The peace is like a wall: it boxes him in, and seems to close in on him with every step. As he drops himself into a seat on the sand, Donghyuck realises he has never in his life wished more for some noise.</p><p>Yukhei isn’t here yet.</p><p>He tries to remember what time he left work. It was a long day of meetings, made even more tiresome because Johnny was there too, taking control of the meeting and steering it in the direction he thought it should go. It’s not like Donghyuck disagreed with his decisions, per se, but he just wishes Johnny would learn to sit down and let the people in charge do their actual job. It’s not always Johnny’s responsibility.</p><p>Anyway: it’s later than he would usually arrive.</p><p>But Yukhei usually waits. He waits, and then he pouts at Donghyuck for making him wait, but he never really complains. He always said that he would rather see Donghyuck a little than not at all.</p><p>So where is he?</p><p>Donghyuck frowns. He feels kind of annoyed—if he can put aside his own upset, his own <em>embarrassment</em>, for the sake of keeping a friendship he doesn’t think he can live with letting go of, then surely so can Yukhei.</p><p>After all, it’s not like Yukhei was the one that dared to show his heart and had it thrown back in his face.</p><p>Donghyuck leans his chin on his palm, elbow digging into the fold of his knee, and begins to stubbornly draw patterns in the sand. He’s glad he slathered on sunscreen before coming down here, because from the look of things, he could be waiting here a while.</p><p>Unexpectedly faced with silence, and so in the company of his mind alone, Donghyuck’s thoughts naturally start to wander. Revisiting the past two months, he pushes through the gentle wisps of fog to flick through each memory and encounter that sticks out. A small smile manages to make its way up to his eyes as he recalls it all.</p><p>Eventually, he lands back on the very first day he and Yukhei met.</p><p>It wasn’t such a good day, to be honest. Actually, it was a day quite similar to this one, now he thinks about it. He’d been in meetings with Johnny and his publishing company, suffering his brother in his element, and then he’d been looking for an escape.</p><p>So he came here: the only place he knew Johnny wouldn’t follow. He’d been looking for an escape, a place to let go of his heavy thoughts and let them float away on the wind as if they’re lighter than air. It’s funny how now, it couldn’t be more the opposite. Instead of looking for a way to escape the cloud of thoughts in his head, he’s running straight towards the reason for it.</p><p>Donghyuck sighs. He’d been doing so well—his head had been so clear of the fog for so long. Every minute with Yukhei was another few that would push the bank of grey backwards, until he had enough clear time in his reserves that it never even came within a five mile radius of him. Donghyuck had felt lighter than he had in months.</p><p>He finds it almost funny how the person who helped get rid of it is the sole reason it came flooding back.</p><p>Last night felt like someone had tipped a pail of cold water over his head. As if to say: times up, kid, the fun’s over. You need to go back to reality now.</p><p>Because the thing is, Donghyuck doesn’t just bare his heart like that for anyone. He waits as long as he can, waiting until he knows that the trust is real and strong; that the feelings are shared. And oh, he’d been so sure.</p><p>Despite that, he’d been wrong.</p><p>So he’d gone home, brushed past Johnny angrily in the hall, and as soon as his bedroom door had closed behind him he’d cried. Cried and cried until he thought he’d wept every drop of water from his body. Then he’d gone to bed, and cried a little more, until he felt properly empty.</p><p>Donghyuck hasn’t felt like that in a while.</p><p>Now, on the beach, he feels himself filling back up again. There’s a reason the beach was his place to escape to: it’s truly beautiful. It’s full of the comforting nostalgia of being a teenager, a time when things were simpler. Memories of the sun that feels like a mother’s hug to him now, memories of splashing in the water with Jeno and with Johnny watching from afar. Building huge sandcastles and letting vanilla ice cream melt and drip onto his hands and his shoes. It’s rose tinted, because those memories are from the same time his adopted parents were dying, but the happiness he gleans from them is still real and tangible.</p><p>It still means something to him.</p><p>So Donghyuck sits here, nestled in a dip in the beach and absentmindedly pushing sand into a pile—a half-hearted attempt at a sandcastle—and both tries to run away from his problems and towards them.</p><p>Yukhei still doesn’t come.</p><p>Donghyuck stays, telling himself that Yukhei has waited countless hours across multiple days for him, and so this is the least that he can do in return. He stays, eyes blurred and glassy as he watches the sky perform a sunset for him—it’s a little subdued tonight, dusty pink tinted with blue, as if the sun knows that Donghyuck just needs a simple arm around his shoulders—and then fades, the heat draining from the universe and melting into the horizon. Donghyuck likes to imagine it seeping into the sea, creating a myriad of colours that dance below the surface in secret.</p><p>He stays until all the absence of heat becomes all too apparent: the evening wind whips up, sending a chill down Donghyuck’s spine and causing goosebumps to erupt across his bare arms.</p><p>Donghyuck sighs and leans back on his hands. The breeze ruffles his hair and blows grains of sand over the back of his hands. The sounds of the waves seem louder in the night.</p><p>Yukhei isn’t coming.</p><p>Donghyuck pulls himself to his feet. As he walks back to the steps, and in turn makes his way up the winding garden path back home, Donghyuck realises that maybe that’s an answer in itself.</p><p>Yukhei’s silence will speak for him, and to Donghyuck and his tentative sense of self, it will not be kind.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>aha... sorry?</p><p>hope that was the spicy make out sesh u were looking for my dear prompter :D</p><p>prepare for some angst dearest readers, because here it comes :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mark attempts to step in, but it doesn't really have the desired outcome. Time passes.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Donghyuck returns to the beach again the next day, inexplicably drawn there. He never meant to go, the thought of it making him freeze up, but then he opens his eyes and sees nothing but the empty ocean before him.</p><p>The same thing happens the next day, and the next.</p><p>It continues like this, and Donghyuck resigns himself to it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>It’s been about a week and half, making it early September now. The sun still rules over the sky, beating the lowly earth below with as much heat as she can muster, but Donghyuck can feel her getting weaker. The heat is fading, and it’s a terrible loss in Donghyuck’s opinion. He abhors winter and all the rain and misery that comes with it. The only light in that darkness is Christmas, which Donghyuck spends with his friends, and Johnny with his.</p><p>Nevertheless, Donghyuck dresses in the necessary armour needed to face the September beach chill; today he has a jacket, zipped up to his chin, and socks alongside his regular t-shirt and shorts. That’ll do, he thinks, and he makes his usual way to the beach. It’s Sunday, so it’s early morning, and he’ll probably stay here till long past noon.</p><p>Donghyuck already knows that Yukhei won’t come, which is why when he comes to the edge of the cliff and casts his gaze over the lovely sprawling beach, he is shocked to see someone sitting in the shallow waters.</p><p>With a hopeless grin spreading over his face, Donghyuck dashes down the steps, stumbling as he hits the sand and tripping over his feet in an effort to reach the shore.</p><p>But as he gets closer, and the visitor comes into focus, Donghyuck’s elated smile slips. Their shoulders are too narrow, their skin not as bronze. The glint in the water is green, not pink.</p><p>It’s not him.</p><p>Donghyuck’s pace slows; he feels like he’s drunk and trying to walk in a straight line as the joyful adrenaline is expelled from his body like air from a punctured balloon.</p><p>He comes to an uncertain halt at the shoreline, staring down at the mermaid waiting for him.</p><p>“Mark,” Donghyuck says, instead of a greeting. To his surprise, he sounds less disappointed and more just perplexed—<em>why is Mark here? </em>It’s probably something to do with Yukhei, but that just makes Donghyuck irritated. Yukhei should have come himself, not sent a messenger.</p><p>The mermaid hears the confusion in Donghyuck’s voice and the corners of his mouth twitch slightly.</p><p>“Hey, Donghyuck,” Mark says. Donghyuck shifts his weight from foot to foot, hands shoved deep in his pockets.</p><p>They stare at each other for a bit. It’s obvious why they’re both there, but neither person really knows where to begin. Donghyuck ends up breaking the silence first.</p><p>“Where is he?”</p><p>Mark winces. “Wow, not even going to ask how I am? That’s cold, Donghyuck,” he jokes, clutching his chest. Donghyuck follows the movement, seeing the slight shadow of himself reflected in the emerald sparkling scales littering Mark’s chest.</p><p>“Sorry,” Donghyuck deadpans. “Mark, how are you?”</p><p>Mark chuckles, then sighs, dropping his attempt at a light-hearted approach. “I’m sorry, Donghyuck. He’s not coming,” he says, answering Donghyuck’s original question instead.</p><p>Donghyuck knew that would be the answer, but that doesn’t stop disappointment from washing over him. He quickly squashes it down, choosing to focus on the inside of his own eyelids for a while.</p><p>“Are you gonna sit down and talk to me, or what?”</p><p>So Donghyuck sits. And they talk.</p><p>“I’m guessing that Yukhei told you, then,” Donghyuck starts. He can feel the dampness from the sand seeping through the seat of his shorts. </p><p>Mark nods slowly. “You could say that,” he says, thinking back to the car crash of a conversation they had with Yukhei a couple of weeks back and consequently how no one had dared to bring up the subject since. “I know his version of things, but I want to know yours, too.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Because I can go back and talk to him, and you can’t. And unless I understand how you’re feeling, I can’t help you guys out.”</p><p>Donghyuck feels kind of stunned. He honestly didn’t realise Mark gave enough of a shit to do this for him. For them. It’s… nice, he realises. And maybe, if Yukhei’s friends are willing to get involved, there’s some semblance of hope left for the two of them.</p><p>“So what, are you asking me to tell you what happened?”</p><p>Mark shrugs, agreeing. “Yeah, if you want.”</p><p>Alright.</p><p>Donghyuck leans back on his hands, feeling the cold, solid sand beneath his palms. “We were watching the sunset together.</p><p>“It was a beautiful evening. I was in awe of it, honestly, I’d never seen anything like it. And then I glanced at Xu—at Yukhei. Not really looking properly at first, almost looking through him, but then I realised he had this <em>look</em> on his face, and I just thought: <em>oh.</em> It kind of felt like he was looking at me like I had been looking at the sunset.” Donghyuck sits forward again, fiddling with his fingers as he begins to feel more and more like he’s peeling back layers of himself and baring his heart once again. It’s not as hard as he thought it would be, but he still has to grit his teeth to steel his mind and keep talking. Mark watches him wordlessly, waiting for him to continue under his own steam.</p><p>“To me, it felt like something slotted into place. I saw it in him. It was a reflection of my own feelings, like they were returned. And then, well, you probably know what happened next.”</p><p>Mark hums.</p><p>“Yeah. So. We kissed.” Donghyuck rubs the back of his neck, grimacing a little at both the way he feels stray grains of sand grind against the skin on his nape and the way Mark starts to look a little awkward. The mermaid’s eyes are slightly wider than usual; an uncertain smile goes hand in hand with the embarrassed blush on the tips of his ears. “But that’s not the bit that struck me the most. He—Mark, he let me touch his scales.”</p><p>Mark splutters, his tail slapping the water inadvertently behind him. “He what?”</p><p>“He didn’t tell you?” Donghyuck asks as his eyebrows shoot up his forehead. “Oh…”</p><p>“Nope.” Mark shakes his head. “But now it all makes so much more sense.” The terror, the freaking out, the reluctance. As Mark slots this new information into place around all the other details he’s collected in his mind, things begin to fall into place.</p><p>“I wonder why he didn’t.” Donghyuck’s voice is flat, like he already knows why, but Mark would confidently bet that he’s got the wrong idea.</p><p>Not wanting to get too involved or speak on Yukhei’s behalf, Mark dances around the details. “When he told us what happened, he was freakin’ out real bad. We tried to calm him down, but I think he just got more wound up. I’ve never seen him like that. But later I looked back on it, and I thought, <em>nah</em>, there’s got to be more to it than that. So now I know he left that part out, his freak-out kinda makes more sense. I still feel like there’s something he’s not telling you, or us, but…” Mark shrugs, biting his lip as he assesses Donghyuck’s reaction to his thoughts. Because truthfully, he’d lied—Mark knows that it’s only Donghyuck left in the dark about Yukhei’s true feelings now. He’s just trying to subtly shove Donghyuck in the right direction without making him feel like he’s at a disadvantage.</p><p>To his disappointment, Donghyuck still seems to be sticking to his own conclusions. Mark inwardly sighs.</p><p>“It was just a big mistake,” Donghyuck decides, staring out across the bay. “He clearly regrets it. I just don’t understand why he let it go so far if he doesn’t like me like that.” He refocuses and turns to meet Mark’s eyes. “<em>Does</em> he like me?”</p><p>Mark struggles to hold Donghyuck’s gaze and hold back from yelling <em>yes! Yes, for crying out loud, he loves you! Why can’t you just open your eyes and see?</em> He knows that that won’t do anyone any good. “I can’t tell you what Lucas truly feels, you gotta know that.”</p><p>Donghyuck huffs.</p><p>“That’s a conversation you need to have with Lucas, not me.”</p><p>“Well!” Donghyuck cries out, throwing his arms in the air in exasperation as Mark’s words make something within him crack. “I’m trying, aren’t I? Coming to this fucking beach day after day in the desperate hope that one day I’ll turn up and he’ll be waiting for me like he used to. I feel fucking pathetic, Mark, do you know how shit it feels to know that he won’t be here and not be able to stop myself coming anyway? It’s like picking at an already open wound. It hurts, Mark, and yet I console myself with the thought that if I keep coming for long enough, staying for hours on end, somehow Yukhei will <em>know</em> and he’ll care enough to come for me too.”</p><p>Donghyuck seems to sag and curl into himself as he finishes his outburst. Mark blinks, dazed, as he watches the sudden rush of colour fade from Donghyuck’s cheeks.</p><p>The frustration of Donghyuck’s tirade lingers in the air as Mark struggles to reply. He thinks of several things he could say, but all of them fall short, none of them feeling adequate in this situation. He feels, ironically, out of his depth.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” he says after a while, settling for something simple. “I’m sorry my friend is such a fucking dumbass, and I’m sorry that he’s put you in this position.”</p><p>Donghyuck laughs, but it’s flat and empty. It makes Mark wince. “It’s fine,” Donghyuck says, waving him off. “Not your fault. No one’s fault but mine. I shouldn’t have kissed him in the first place.” Shouldn’t have read into it, shouldn’t have seen things that obviously weren’t there. Donghyuck doesn’t say any of these thoughts, but they’re there, obnoxious and neon and glaring in his mind.</p><p>Mark sinks below the surface a little, blowing the occasional bubble. He wants to take Donghyuck by the shoulders, shake him violently and bellow <em>if he doesn’t like you, why did he kiss you back?!</em> into Donghyuck’s face. If anything, at this point it would be quite a therapeutic exercise for his own sanity.</p><p>“Let’s stop talking about this,” Donghyuck says.</p><p>Mark lifts his head back above the surface. Water droplets run from his hairline down his face, and they accentuate the chill of the breeze on his cheeks. That’s a decision he can get behind, even as he realises that aside from their mutual friend, he has almost no idea where to take the conversation. “So… how’re things?” Out of the blue, a face pops into Mark’s mind. “Your friends?”</p><p>Donghyuck sends him an almost suspicious sideways glance, then smirks and snorts. “Jaemin’s doing very well, thank you.”</p><p>Mark immediately goes a vibrant shade of red. It’s as if Donghyuck had looked into his head and seen the thought of Jaemin lingering there. “I—I didn’t mean—” Mark stammers as Donghyuck snickers.</p><p>“I didn’t realise you had such an equal interest in all my friends, Mark,” Donghyuck says innocently. Under the water, Mark clenches his fists.</p><p>“Of course I do!” Mark lies. “Why—why would I be more interested in Jaemin than the other two?” He’s flaking. Even Mark can tell that he’s doing a less than stellar job of concealing his… interest in Jaemin, without the loud disbelief written all over Donghyuck’s face.</p><p>“Do you even remember the names of the other two?” Donghyuck asks.</p><p>In his head, Mark stumbles. Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He racks his brains, replaying that afternoon at the beach.</p><p>Unfortunately, he just seems to be playing the Jaemin memory reel, because his recollections are to be suffering from a severe case of tunnel vision. Mark curses both his weak heart and Jaemin’s unfairly pretty face.</p><p>Luckily, they come to him eventually—“Renjun and Jeno!” Mark exclaims with triumph—but the knowing look on Donghyuck’s face is enough to tell Mark he took too long to be convincing.</p><p>“Sure, nice one, Mark,” Donghyuck drawls. There’s still an air of sadness draping itself over him, but Mark is at least pleased that his own suffering has put a gleam back in Donghyuck’s eye. “So you won’t want to know that Jaemin’s been talking about you at every opportunity, then?”</p><p>Mark tries to not look too excited.</p><p>“Mark this, Mark that. I’m this close to banning your name in conversation, you know?” Donghyuck sighs. “It’s disgusting.”</p><p>“I’m sure,” Mark replies, biting his lip to try and hold back the smile that threatens to spread and split his face in two.</p><p>They chat on and off a little more, passing the time together when it becomes clear that even with Mark’s subtle coaxing Donghyuck isn’t going to leave the beach until he really has to. That time doesn’t come until the sun has set—tonight’s sunset was a subtle, understated affair, very appropriate for the current mood, Mark thinks—and the darkness brings nothing but a more cutting wind and a severe drop in temperature.</p><p>Donghyuck is clutching his jacket a little closer around his shoulders. “You should go back.” Mark says gently, knowing that he needs to go before it becomes too dark to see comfortably.</p><p>With a reluctant hum, Donghyuck agrees and gets to his feet. “Well, thanks for keeping me company, Mark,” he says quietly. “It was… nice. To not be alone.”</p><p>Mark nods. “‘S no problem.”</p><p>“Don’t feel like you have to pass anything on to Yukhei on my behalf, okay? But y’know. If you ever wanna chat again.” Donghyuck gestures to the beach around him. “You know where to find me.”</p><p>“Yeah, sure, of course.” Mark turns onto his back and floats lazily, keeping himself still by paddling his tail slowly.</p><p>“Oh. I’ll let Jaemin know you asked after him as well,” Donghyuck says slyly as he bends over the brush the wet, sticky sand from his knees and legs. Mark watches the action with interest; quickly, an idea pops into his head. It captures his focus so easily Mark forgets to be flustered by the implications of Donghyuck’s words.</p><p>“I’m sure we’ll see each other soon enough,” he says absentmindedly, trailing his fingers in figures of eight in the water as the idea begins to take hold in his head.</p><p>Donghyuck’s eyebrows crease slightly at Mark’s response, but doesn’t question it, instead bidding the mermaid farewell and turning to begin his trudge back up the sands.</p><p>Mark watches him go, loitering in the water until Donghyuck is totally out of sight. Then, with one swift sweeping movement of his tail, he turns and disappears into the deep.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Today, Donghyuck grows restless just sitting on the beach. It’s warmer than yesterday’s chill, proving once again the fickle nature of September’s weather. Without anything to distract himself with, sitting beneath the roaring sun quickly begins to make him feel restless, as though he’s being smothered in an oppressive blanket of heavy heat. He feels a need to get up and go somewhere—not completely elsewhere as such, but to just move his legs and rid himself of this discomfort.</p><p>So, he decides to wander.</p><p>There’s not an inch of this beach he’s not familiar with already, so with proper exploring out of the question, Donghyuck empties his mind as much as the fog will allow and simply strolls. With hands in his pockets, and feet firmly acknowledging the warm sand beneath them, he ambles along the beach.</p><p>He knows this place like the back of his hand. Even just this action of retracing those steps taken hundreds, maybe thousands of times since he first came here is enough to provide him with a sense of relief and clarity. Donghyuck focuses hard on the familiar things: the calling of the gulls overhead, the slow and constant crashing of little waves against the shore, and the almost imperceptible sounds of the distant town carried down here by the wind. Each one wraps itself around Donghyuck like a comfort blanket. He grips it tightly round his shoulders as he continues his walk, not really registering when the path he took on autopilot switches between sand and boulder.</p><p>Where he’s heading only hits him when that comfort blanket drops from around his shoulders and he comes face to face with the cave. <em>Their</em> cave. Donghyuck suddenly feels very exposed.</p><p>Any glimmer of hope that might have awoken within him is quelled just as quickly as Donghyuck hitches himself up to sit on the edge. It’s empty, but Donghyuck shrugs off the responding sense of disappointment. He’s not surprised, after all.</p><p>He remains there for a while, a little sheltered from the sun as he swings his legs side to side. His bare feet skim the top of the rocks below, and to his left, the tide surges in and out of the channel that flows deep into the cave behind.</p><p>Time passes, as it often does now, without Donghyuck noticing. The sun is hanging low in the sky when something pulls Donghyuck out of the spiral of thoughts he had lost himself in, the early hints of dusk beginning to blur the clouds and the sky together.</p><p>Someone has joined him in the cave.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Yukhei is a bit embarrassed to admit how long he watched Donghyuck for before managing to summon the courage to actually approach him.</p><p>When Donghyuck notices his presence in the cave, Yukhei feels his heart climb its way up his throat. It threatens to spill over, to blurt every thought that has passed through Yukhei’s mind in the time he’s spent cowardly avoiding this confrontation. He only just manages to put a lid on it when Donghyuck speaks up.</p><p>“Did Mark put you up to this?”</p><p>Yukhei’s shoulders sag slightly. Donghyuck’s voice is cold, matching his carefully guarded expression. It’s <em>wrong</em>. He tries to swallow his nerves. “No, no he didn’t. I mean, he told me he’d seen you, but he wouldn’t say much. No, I decided to come here on my own.”</p><p>That seems to appease Donghyuck slightly, because some of the tension tying knots in Donghyuck’s brow seems to melt away. He pats the rock beside him. “Sit up here?”</p><p>Yukhei nods. He pushes at the water in the channel, now full from the high tide, until a puddle collects in one of the dips of the cave floor. Satisfied, Yukhei pushes himself up and deposits himself into the shallow pool, leaving his tail to dangle over the edge and into the channel to the side.</p><p>“Why didn’t you come?”</p><p>Donghyuck isn’t looking at him, eyes firmly focused on something in the distance. His mouth is set in a line, still trying to be firm and cold, but Yukhei knows him well enough to read the hurt bleeding out of just the way he holds himself.</p><p>“I’m so sorry, Donghyuck,” Yukhei starts, trying not to let his voice sound too desperate and pleading. “I… I should have come. I know I broke your trust, and I… I’m just so sorry, Donghyuck.”</p><p>Donghyuck doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to for Yukhei to know he’s agreeing with everything he’s saying. <em>You should be. You should have. You did.</em></p><p>Yukhei stumbles over his words as he asks his next question. “Would you allow me to be honest with you?”</p><p>“Go ahead,” Donghyuck says, folding his arms.</p><p>“I am afraid,” Yukhei begins. “Or, to put it more accurately, I’m terrified. I was, and I still am. The only difference between then and now is that I don’t want to be a coward anymore.”</p><p>On a whim, Yukhei reaches out and takes Donghyuck’s hands in his own. Donghyuck looks startled, but doesn’t pull away.</p><p>“I like you too, sunflower. I know that doesn’t undo everything that’s happened this past two weeks, but I don’t want you to keep misunderstanding me. I really like you, really really <em>really</em> like you. Much more than you could possibly know.”</p><p>Donghyuck’s lips part in shock.</p><p>“But, like I said,” Yukhei continues, unfazed by the way he feels Donghyuck’s hands twitch between his own. “I’m afraid. You deserve the whole world, Donghyuck, but I don’t know if I can give it to you. There’s so much I don’t know, besides the fact that I’ll always be bound to the water one way or another. So much I couldn’t do for you. It wouldn’t be fair. I—I wouldn’t want you to have to take care of me like that. And then there’s the separation, I just—”</p><p>Donghyuck retracts his hands from Yukhei’s grip and holds one up, gesturing for Yukhei to stop. The look on his face is pure disbelief, with his lip curling in irritation. “Wait. Are you seriously telling me that you pushed me away and we went through this shitshow because you <em>decided</em> that I wouldn’t want this?”</p><p>Yukhei feels sick. He’d run through a million different outcomes of this conversation in his head, but not once did he really think that Donghyuck would get angry.</p><p>“You know how I feel about that, Yukhei.” Donghyuck rubs his forehead. “Jesus. What made you think it was your decision to make alone? Did you ever consider that I’ve already thought about all that? Of course I have! I know it won’t be plain sailing, I know it’ll be difficult. But I knew that as long as we love each other, we’d get through it! We’d be able to work it out. As long as we had each other, and were willing to try, it’d be okay.” Donghyuck lets his face fall into his hands, then rubs his knuckles into his eyes roughly and turns to look at Yukhei once again. His eyes are red and his eyelashes are damp and sticking together.</p><p>“Sunflower…”</p><p>Donghyuck scoffs. “Don’t call me that, not now. Please.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Yukhei whispers, his mind darting back and forth between <em>he loves me</em> and <em>I can’t call him sunflower anymore</em>. “I’m so sorry for hurting you, Donghyuck.”</p><p>Silence falls between them. Yukhei wants to pull his hair out, to take two fistfulls of its unruly length and yank in frustration. He feels like he has so much bottled up inside him that he wants to say, to try and make Donghyuck understand every inch of what he feels—why he did it. But he also thinks that he could say a hundred things and still not convey it clearly enough to satisfy him. It’s too much of a jumbled mess inside him; Yukhei struggles to explain something that’s less of a coherent thought and more of a gut feeling.</p><p>“I think,” Donghyuck speaks up eventually. “That we shouldn’t see each other for a bit.” There’s a note of finality in his voice that pins Yukhei to the ground he sits on.</p><p>“What—why?” He asks, sitting up a little straighter in panic. <em>That wasn’t supposed to happen.</em> </p><p>Donghyuck stares at his hands again. “I’ve been coming here every day, thinking that it was my fault alone, eating away at myself for fucking up a beautiful thing. I don’t think I realised how much that was affecting me until now. Honestly I thought a lot of things, but I was willing to apologise and try to rebuild our friendship.” He pauses. “But now that I know the reason you stayed away, I… I’m sorry too, Yukhei, but I’m making my own decision for once. I’m tired of trying to please other people at the expense of myself. I’m tired of having other people think that they know what is best for me.</p><p>“I’m not saying that this is goodbye, Yukhei. I just need some time for myself. To figure things out.”</p><p>Yukhei nods numbly.</p><p>Donghyuck manages a weak smile, and reaches out to rest his hand on Yukhei’s forearm. It’s warm and solid and real, and somehow still so distant and cold.</p><p>“Thanks for understanding.”</p><p>Yukhei wants to stop him from leaving. He wants to protest and say that they can work through it now, like they should have those two weeks ago. But he shoves down that want, knowing that Donghyuck is making the right decision for himself; he understands how Donghyuck works and that sometimes, he needs to withdraw and take time for himself before he gets overwhelmed. It’s probably a little late to prevent that, but at least this way Donghyuck can heal the aftermath of it.</p><p>Yukhei returns the smile, trying to look reassuring. He places a careful hand on top of Donghyuck’s. “You should do what is best for you right now. Don’t worry about me.”</p><p>Donghyuck nods. The early beginnings of night show in the long shadows cast around them, and the way Donghyuck’s long curls hide his eyes. His face is almost completely half hidden; Yukhei wouldn’t be able to tell if his eyes were triumphant or teary. In fact, he can’t tell how Donghyuck feels right now at all. Nighttime falls over Donghyuck like a mask.</p><p>“I won’t.” His voice rings firm and steady as he stands gracefully. Donghyuck hops down from the cave and lands surely on the rocks below. He only pauses when Yukhei calls out.</p><p>“I’ll see you, right?”</p><p>From this new angle, moonlight illuminates Donghyuck’s face, allowing Yukhei to see the tight-lipped smile he gets in return.</p><p>“Sure, Yukhei. See you,” Donghyuck says, and if it lets a bubble of hope rise up in Yukhei’s heart, no one has to know.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Like clockwork, November brings a drop in temperature that chills the ocean. Being a mermaid, Yukhei isn’t as affected by the fluctuations of warm and cold in the water, but he’s more susceptible to it than the others.</p><p>To combat it, he’s taken to hanging around in the cave channel during high tide, enjoying the barest warmth of the water there due to the sheltered spot.</p><p>That’s all he’s there for. If his thoughts drift to Donghyuck, then that’s completely unrelated, of course.</p><p>Hovering a few inches below the surface, Yukhei wonders what Donghyuck’s been doing these past two months. He’s seen him a few times—when he tends to the conservation work at the top of the cliff, or when Donghyuck and his friends brave the harsher weather to come and fool about on the sand for a bit. He seems happy at least. Yukhei always hangs back, watching from afar, waiting for Donghyuck to make the first move.</p><p>He’s aware of the irony, of course. Donghyuck waited for all that time, and now Yukhei is doing the same.</p><p>Nothing has really changed, these past two months. Not for Yukhei, anyway. The only thing that he’s noticed being different is the fact that Mark is hanging out with Jaemin a lot, which Mark thinks they don’t know, and is terrible at hiding it.</p><p>Primarily because Yukhei, Hendery and Dejun followed him one time out of pure curiosity—they watched him from a safe distance, just their eyes above the surface, snickering to each other as Mark rose gracefully from the water on two legs and embraced Jaemin after slipping into the clothes offered to him. </p><p>It makes the other two mermaids fake gag, but it makes Yukhei think. If he weren’t so hell bent on giving Donghyuck the space that he needs, then maybe… </p><p>It’s something to consider. It’s risky with a capital R, but Yukhei files it away as a definite Maybe.</p><p>Anyway. The other reason Mark is so bad at hiding his dates with Jaemin is because he always brings back little tidbits of updates about Donghyuck. Small things to appease Yukhei, such as one day when he let slip that the final manuscript for Donghyuck’s book has been approved, and then about a week later, that it’s being put into production. The release date is unspecified so far—or at least, Yukhei hasn’t managed to drag that particular detail out of Mark yet—but it’ll be sometime next year, they think.</p><p>Yukhei doesn’t bother to hide how proud he is of Donghyuck. He knows it’s not what Donghyuck wants, truly, but still. It’s a huge achievement; a definite milestone. Something to be proud of no matter what.</p><p>He’s also heard that Donghyuck has been posting covers on his Youtube channel occasionally. That is what makes Yukhei happiest: that Donghyuck is still pursuing his passion. He can’t watch the videos, but apparently Jaemin has shown Mark a few, and Mark assures him that they’re really really good.</p><p>And for Yukhei, that’s enough. He’s content knowing his sunflower is still out there, sharing and spreading his passion. Happy.</p><p>So, with the knowledge that Donghyuck is doing pretty fine, it’s understandable that Yukhei is taken completely by surprise when a hysterical Donghyuck bursts into the cave while Yukhei is hidden in the calm waters below.</p><p>He’s swiftly followed by Jeno, who immediately reaches out for Donghyuck and is pushed away.</p><p>Yukhei doesn’t mean to listen in, but he’s too afraid to move, so he can’t really help it.</p><p>“Donghyuck,” Jeno is pleading. “Please. Isn’t it time you moved on?”</p><p>Donghyuck mutters something unintelligible in return. Unwittingly, Yukhei strains to hear more clearly.</p><p>“You’ve been like this for months, Hyuck. I’m worried about you,” Jeno continues.</p><p>This time, Donghyuck’s voice is clear. “I said I’m <em>fine</em>.”</p><p>“Stop lying to me, you know I hate that,” Jeno snaps.</p><p>“Will you just drop it?!”</p><p>“No, I won’t!” Jeno shouts. Even Yukhei flinches—Jeno never shouts. Ever. Barely even raises his voice.</p><p>“I won’t!” Jeno repeats, when Donghyuck starts to speak again. “Because you’re only hurting yourself. And now you’re hurting me and Jaemin and Renjun too, because you won’t listen! Are you really going to fight with us like this, when we’re only saying these things because we’re worried sick, because of some boy? That you haven’t seen in two months?”</p><p>The sound of a sob echoes around the cave. Yukhei’s heart seizes; Jeno immediately softens, going to Donghyuck and wrapping his arms around Donghyuck’s hunched frame.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Jeno soothes, whispering apologies into Donghyuck’s hair.</p><p>“I can’t, Jeno,” Donghyuck cries.</p><p>“Can’t what?”</p><p>“I can’t stop loving him.”</p><p>Yukhei feels like someone has just yanked him back from stepping over the edge at the very last second.</p><p>“Even…” Jeno sounds incredulous. “Even after all this time?”</p><p>Yukhei holds his breath.</p><p>“Yes,” Donghyuck admits. “Even after all this time. He’s the one I need. The one I <em>want.</em>”</p><p>Yukhei breathes out in relief. Except, he does it through his mouth, not his gills—stupid, <em>stupid</em>—and the bubble rise to the surfice. The mermaid jolts in surprise, clapping a hand over his mouth.</p><p>Of course, the movement causes the water to ripple quite considerably, alerting the two men to his presence. Yukhei sees Donghyuck immediately straighten up and his head has never turned towards Yukhei so quickly.</p><p>Taking his chance, knowing he was never supposed to have been there or heard any of that, Yukhei turns and swims away, the lingering sound of Donghyuck calling his name ringing in his ears.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>On the swim back to his friends, Yukhei makes a decision.</p><p>He is done with this. This back and forth, this space that he gave Donghyuck willingly in the hopes that it would do him some good. It’s obviously doing everything but that, and so Yukhei has had enough. It is time to try again, and not give in so easily this time.</p><p>They love each other. Donghyuck confessed it himself, and Yukhei is sure his own feelings haven’t wavered in the slightest. So that is enough for him.</p><p>Upon his return, Yukhei goes straight to Mark and grabs him by the arm, ignoring the way the other mermaid protests as he drags him away to a more secluded spot.</p><p>“The hell, Lucas?” Mark screeches.</p><p>Yukhei glares at him, exasperated. “Tell me how to get the legs.”</p><p>Mark stares back, his own expression shocked. Clearly, that was the last thing he expected Yukhei to open with.</p><p>“Come again?”</p><p>“The <em>legs</em>,” Yukhei reiterates, almost whining. “I need to get them.”</p><p>Mark’s expression morphs into something more smug and knowing. “Ah. For Donghyuck, I’m guessing?” He smirks.</p><p>Yukhei narrows his eyes. “Yes. But the why is not important. Well. It is. Very much so.” Mark pretends to vomit as Yukhei’s face takes on a sappy smile. “But no! The how is more important,” Yukhei continues, grabbing Mark again. “Tell me how. I know you know. I know you’ve been using them to visit Jaemin, so don’t even try to tell me you don’t know.”</p><p>Mark stills at that, very much caught out. Then he sighs, and relents. “Fine. But it’s not going to be easy. And you know it comes with risks. We don’t know how long you can be away from the water for. This won’t immediately solve everything, you know.” Mark’s voice turns stern, and he grabs Yukhei by the shoulder to make sure he’s properly listening.</p><p>Yukhei nods furiously. “Yes, I know. It’s not going to be easy. But I’m not afraid anymore, Mark. That’s the difference. I’m ready to try, for him. That’s what you were trying to get me to realise before, right?”</p><p>Mark softens, and agrees. “It sure was. And, for the record…” he adds. “I’m glad you’ve come round. I’m really glad. I’ve been worried about you, you know. We all have.”</p><p>Yukhei grins and grabs Mark in a loose headlock, ruffling his hair in an aggressive display of affection. “Yeah, whatever, you sap. Now are you gonna teach me how to get the legs, or not?”</p><p>Mark laughs freely. “Of course.” He swims away from Yukhei a little, leaving about a metre between them for safety. “Okay, so it’s pretty simple,” Mark starts, noting gleefully how Yukhei is giving him his undivided attention. “First things first: tuck your elbows in, and bring your fists up to shoulder level.”</p><p>Yukhei does so. Mark stifles a laugh.</p><p>“Next, I want you to close your eyes.” Yukhei follows his instruction immediately, so Mark goes on. “Then tense up your whole upper body, but leave your tail real relaxed. Now you just gotta think suuuuuuuuper hard about legs. Go on. Really picture them on your own body. Imagine they’re there instead of your tail. Harder, Lucas, I can’t see you thinking yet.”</p><p>Yukhei imagines it so hard he thinks his brain might burst. Mark hums his approval, so Yukhei guesses he must be doing okay. If he’s honest, he’s not really sure what his own legs would look like, so he pictures the only pair of legs he knows well enough.</p><p>Being a lot bigger than Donghyuck, he’s not sure that Donghyuck’s legs would look very good attached to his body, but he’s not sure what else to do so Yukhei just keeps thinking about it. Wanting it. He’s never wanted for anything as much as he does right now. In fact, he wants it so much he feels a headache coming on.</p><p>“Are you still thinking?” Mark asks, and there’s a lilt to his voice that has Yukhei cracking one eye open.</p><p>“Shut your eyes!” Mark giggles.</p><p>“You’re not fucking with me, are you?” Yukhei grumbles, going back to thinking really hard. His whole face scrunches up as he holds the tension in his shoulders, arms tucked up against him.</p><p>“I <em>wouldn’t</em>,” Mark says. “Come on, keep imagining your legs. It always takes a while the first time, but it’ll happen, I promise.”</p><p>Okay. So Yukhei squeezes his eyes tighter, pictures Donghyuck’s legs as vividly as possible, and thinks.</p><p>And thinks.</p><p>And <em>thinks</em>.</p><p>Just as he’s really beginning to think that Mark is pulling his tail fin, he hears him gasp.</p><p>“Dude! Lucas! You did it!” Mark exclaims, clapping his hands.</p><p>Yukhei feels a burst of adrenaline rush through him and he snaps open his eyes excitedly, looking down straight away, ready to see the magical result.</p><p>His face drops.</p><p>Where he expected to see a nice pair of bronze legs is his regular, glittering tail. He immediately realises what’s happened, especially when Mark dissolves into giggles, laughing into his hand and rolling about in the water. He looks so goddamn <em>pleased</em> with himself.</p><p>“I hate you,” Yukhei growls, launching himself towards Mark. On a normal day, Mark is small and slippery enough to escape Yukhei’s grasp for at least five minutes, but his own personal amusement has left him as limp as the seaweed that covers the sea floor. Yukhei grabs him, his arm immediately slipping around Mark’s neck till his chin is stuffed in the crook of Yukhei’s elbow.</p><p>“Was it funny, huh?” Yukhei grins, squeezing Mark’s cheeks with his free hand.</p><p>Mark splutters, then has the audacity to nod. “So funny,” he chokes out. “You looked like you were about to implode. Amazing.” He gasps as Yukhei flicks his nose.</p><p>“Fuck you, Mark.” And, because Yukhei’s not very creative with his insults, he tacks on a “You <em>fucker</em>.” at the end for added effect.</p><p>“You can’t kill me, you still need me to tell you how to actually get legs!” Mark protests, breaking out in a grin when Yukhei reluctantly releases his grip around Mark.</p><p>Mark slithers out of his grasp and into a limp pile on the sand. He takes a moment to collect himself before pushing off with his tail and springing back up to Yukhei’s side.</p><p>“Do I need to do any more thinking?” Yukhei whines, latching onto Mark’s arm as he begins to swim away.</p><p>“Not quite as much, luckily for you.” Mark laughs. “Come on. There’s someone who can teach you much better than I can.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>can I get a fucking finally in the chat???? pls... it only took them like two months smh</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yukhei finally makes things right, but another problem seems to be raising its head.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Two weeks, about three hundred face-plants and ten bruises (a fascinating new concept for the mermaid) later, Yukhei makes his first full walk from one end of the beach to the other, completely unassisted and without stumbling.</p><p>Well. <em>Mostly</em> without stumbling.</p><p>But he manages to stay upright, which is a very proud moment in his life, and the achievement is met with whooping congratulations called out to him from where his friends are hanging around in the shallows, watching his attempt. </p><p>From where he stands by the shore on his own legs, Kun claps. There’s a proud smile on his face that makes his smile lines come out in full force. Yukhei is so relieved: he’s put his teacher through a lot of stress over the past couple of weeks, determined to learn in record time despite almost injuring himself way too much. He half-jogs over to Kun now, enveloping his teacher in a hug.</p><p>“Thank you,” Yukhei whispers. “For all your help. I’m really grateful,” he adds as he pulls away to look at Kun properly. He hopes Kun can feel his sincerity, whether it’s through his words or the hand he rests on his teacher’s shoulder. Either way, Yukhei strives to convey it to him, because Kun pretty much dropped everything to teach him this. And he was so unfailingly patient, even when Yukhei lost his patience and threw a tantrum in his frustration. He even listened whilst Yukhei wailed in complaint about how ugly and gross feet are, and also answered all Yukhei’s questions about why he has fingernails now and where did the seaweed in his hair go and how does it come back when he changes back and why are his ears still pointy and his fingers still webbed and—</p><p>In conclusion: Kun is the best.</p><p>Kun chuckles warmly. “I’m just glad you’ve got the hang of it. Maybe my stress levels will be able to deplete now.”</p><p>Yukhei laughs too. “Maybe. I hope so.”</p><p>He turns his head to glance over at the wooden steps leading up the cliff, and feels his stomach lurch. He swallows, trying to gather all his courage.</p><p>Tomorrow, he’s going to climb them, finally learn what wonders await him at the top of the stairs, and he’s going to see Donghyuck.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>It’s already the evening by the time Yukhei feels completely ready to do it.</p><p>Mark accompanies him to the shore. Kun had given Yukhei some clothes to wear, so he didn’t have to make his first journey into the human world as naked as nature apparently intended him to be.</p><p>Now, gazing up the beach, he clutches the hem of his soaked hoodie in his fists. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t both worried and nervous. Mark seems to sense this, resting a comforting hand on the small of Yukhei’s back.</p><p>“It’s gonna be okay, you know,” Mark murmurs, almost imperceptibly.</p><p>Yukhei turns to look at him. “I know,” he replies. “But I can’t help but imagine what could happen. What could go wrong. What if I took too long to do this?”</p><p>Mark sighs, nodding in sympathetic understanding. “Yeah. You know we’ll have your back no matter what, though. Bros before hoes, right?” He asks, laughing when Yukhei thumps him on the arm. “Seriously though. I have every faith that it’ll turn out alright. You guys are gonna be just peachy.”</p><p>Yukhei snorts. “If you say so, Markie.”</p><p>Marks smiles at the nickname. It’s something a little private between them, in these small, quietly shared moments. A reminder of their brotherhood, their trust in each other that goes back to when it was just the both of them against the world. Now it feels like Mark is sending Yukhei off on a new, solo adventure, and Yukhei is glad it’s him that’s here.</p><p>“Now, you know the rules, right?” Mark says, turning serious all of a sudden. “We don’t really know how long you can be away from water safely for. So, for Christ’s sake, don’t go doing anything stupid, alright? All we really know for sure is that you can switch between the two as often as you wish, for at least a day at a time. Any longer than about nineteen hours, well… we don’t know. No one’s ever tried it and documented it.”</p><p>Yukhei salutes. “Guess I’ll be the first, then, huh?” It’s an exciting prospect.</p><p>Mark nods. “But I’ll repeat myself: don’t go doing anything stupid under the guise of research or testing a damn hypothesis, alright? You need to find a sensible, practical balance. And come back to see us every so often.”</p><p>“Now why would I do that if I’m with the love of my life?” Yukhei asks cheekily.</p><p>Mark reaches up and slaps the back of Yukhei’s head. “‘Cause I’m gonna miss you, you goof.” He laughs, then shrieks as he finds himself being swept up in a hug that lifts his feet off the ground.</p><p>Yukhei’s voice is muffled against his shoulder, but Mark hears him loud and clear. “I’ll miss you too, Markie.”</p><p>He sets Mark down gently. Their happy smiles mirror each other; Mark squeezes Yukhei’s arm with an air of finality. “Now go get him, you big idiot! Go get your man!”</p><p>With renewed vigour, and Mark cheering him on from the shore, Yukhei makes his way over to the steps. At the bottom of them, one hand holding tightly to the handrail, Yukhei suddenly feels overcome with nerves.</p><p>He swallows thickly, staring up at the top of the stairs and into the starry night sky beyond.</p><p><em>Okay. I can do this. One step at a time,</em> he thinks, and climbs the first step.</p><p>After that, each step comes more easily than the one before. When he reaches the top of the cliff, he sways slightly, gripping the handrail with a bit too much force as he turns to look back at Mark.</p><p>Mark is leaping about in the shallows still, waving his arms and cheering. He’s generally incoherent, just expressing his own confident happiness. There’s only one sentence that really rings clear among the rest of Mark’s noise, and Yukhei uses it to steel himself.</p><p>He sends Mark a last enthusiastic wave, then turns his attention to the dark house at the end of the path ahead of him. He gathers everything he has: his nerve, his determination, his courage, his <em>love</em>, and he marches forward.</p><p>
  <em>Make it right, Lucas! Make it right!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>The house is much bigger than Yukhei thought it would be when he gets up close. He comes to a stop just before the decking and stares up at it in awe. It’s shrouded in darkness and looms above him; there’s a balcony on the second floor with hanging plants tumbling over the edge, and in front of him are floor to ceiling glass panels. Yukhei thinks he might’ve walked into them had it not been for the fact that the moonlight shows him his own shadowed image boldly reflected in the glass before he got too close.</p><p>Yukhei steps up onto the decking. It creaks beneath him as he pads gently across it, and he can feel the soft dampness of the wood against the bare soles of his feet. When he reaches the glass—which he assumes to be a window—Yukhei presses his face close to it, one hand above his eyes to block out the light and let him see more clearly. He peers inside, wondering what his next move should be.</p><p>It’s completely dark inside. Yukhei surmises that both Donghyuck and his brother are already asleep, or at the very least, upstairs. He’d hoped Donghyuck would still be pottering about downstairs—he’s mentioned once or twice that he sometimes does this, late at night when his brother has retreated into his study. </p><p>No such luck, it seems.</p><p>Not really sure how he’d get into the house through this absolutely massive window (unnecessarily big, in Yukhei’s opinion, but there’s no accounting for taste), Yukhei decides to investigate round the front of the house. With one hand outstretched so his fingers can glance against the wall for stability, Yukhei follows a little trail down the side of the house. It’s flanked on either side by flower beds: they’re a little barren now it’s winter, but there’s enough plants there to tell Yukhei that in spring and summer it is an explosion of life. With huge trees sprawling around the perimeter of the property and beyond, it seems that Donghyuck’s home is a sanctuary, surrounded by miles of nothing but peace and nature.</p><p>Yukhei could get used to this.</p><p>The stone trail he’s following opens out into a large gravel driveway. Yukhei emerges onto it from the right hand side: to his right is the front of the house, to his left the drive that probably leads towards town, and directly opposite is what looks like a smaller house. Yukhei frowns—Donghyuck didn’t mention that they had neighbours.</p><p>Dismissing it, Yukhei walks over to the front door. There’s a little light above it, pushing back the darkness in favour of shining a spotlight down onto the porch. </p><p>Yukhei stands underneath it, his hand reaching out hesitantly to knock. He stops just short of the wooden door, though, suddenly nervous.</p><p>The easiest option here is of course just to knock. But what if Johnny answers the door? Yukhei doesn’t even know where he’d start with that—for one thing, he’s not particularly fond of Donghyuck’s brother based on the snippets he’s heard about the man. And besides, he’d rather be introduced to Johnny after making up with Donghyuck at least, so Johnny’s crazy overprotective brother reflex doesn’t go into overdrive.</p><p>Nevertheless, Yukhei doesn’t see another way around this besides breaking and entering, and he’s sure that that won’t do him any favours whatsoever.</p><p>So, he knocks.</p><p>Nothing happens. He begins to tap his foot anxiously before plucking up the courage to knock again. Yukhei knocks with more confidence this time, and takes a step back from the door when he hears movement on the other side.</p><p>Yukhei feels all the breath rush from his lungs as he sees Donghyuck standing in front of him. Even like this, drowning in an oversized t-shirt and a pair of baggy basketball shorts, with dark circles under his eyes, Yukhei thinks he’s beautiful.</p><p>“Yukhei?” Donghyuck croaks, eyes wide and face pale.</p><p>“Hi…” Yukhei smiles weakly. He didn’t want to invite himself in, but Donghyuck seems to have been frozen by his own shock. So, after a pause, he asks “Can I… can I come in?”</p><p>“Huh? Oh, uh, sure.” Donghyuck steps aside, his back pressed against the open door to make space for Yukhei to come past. Yukhei does so, brushing his bare feet against the doormat to get rid of all the grit stuck to his soles.</p><p>Donghyuck shuts the door behind them and leads Yukhei silently through the house. There’s a door on the left of the long hallway: a quick peek inside tells Yukhei it’s a spacious, tidy kitchen. The hallway itself opens out in a living room, with stairs to the right and the massive glass wall on the far side. Two plush sofas face each other in the centre of the room with a low coffee table in between, and there’s a TV suspended on the wall opposite the glass one. Yukhei steps forward tentatively as Donghyuck tidies away a blanket strewn across one of the sofas and finds he likes the way his feet sink into the softness of the carpet. </p><p>Around the edge of the room are a few cupboards and nooks filled with shelves. Each one is decorated with houseplants and framed photos and the occasional knickknack, but the most impressive is the floor to ceiling bookshelf in the far corner. It’s crammed with books stacked neatly to make the most of the space. To the left of the shelf is an electric fire—Yukhei has to ask Donghyuck about that one—and then dotted around are a few lamps that cast a comforting, warm glow around the room in place of the overhead light that remains switched off.</p><p>Yukhei makes himself comfortable on one of the sofas while Donghyuck hovers.</p><p>“Do you want anything to drink?” Donghyuck asks eventually.</p><p>Yukhei nods, although he’s not really thirsty. While Donghyuck is in the kitchen, Yukhei fleetingly wonders whether he’ll feel hungry for human food instead now that he has a human body. </p><p>Donghyuck returns before Yukhei can start being nosy about his surroundings, handing him a glass of something cool and pink. Immediately, his face lights up. “Pink milk?!” Yukhei grins, delighted.</p><p>As he gives him the drink, Donghyuck’s hand brushes against the cuff of Yukhei’s sleeve, and he recoils quickly at the soggy material.</p><p>“You’re <em>soaked</em>.” Donghyuck realises. Yukhei barely has any time to reply before Donghyuck is disappearing again. “Wait here.”</p><p>Yukhei smiles privately as he takes a sip of the pink milk. </p><p>Donghyuck returns quickly with a bundle in his arms. “Here.” He says, thrusting the clothes at Yukhei. “Put these on. They’re Johnny’s for now, ‘cause my stuff won’t fit you, but if you don’t wanna wear his then I’m sure we can grab some stuff from Jeno tomorrow. Unless you’re not staying, of course…” Donghyuck’s voice trails off, and he looks uneasy.</p><p>Yukhei smiles gratefully. “Thank you,” he says, and heads into the small bathroom Donghyuck directs him to so he can dry his long hair and change.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>When they’re settled, sitting opposite each other, Donghyuck speaks up. “So you… you have legs,” he says weakly, eyes trained on the two unfairly long legs that have appeared where Yukhei’s tail used to be.</p><p>Yukhei laughs, gesturing to his legs as if to say <em>yup, pretty crazy right?</em></p><p>“How...?” Donghyuck asks, tucking his own legs underneath him on the sofa. He made himself a cup of hot chocolate while Yukhei was changing, and holds it in both hands now, blowing on it gently as he looks at Yukhei over the rim with wide eyes.</p><p>Yukhei bites his lip to suppress the smile brought on by Donghyuck’s curiosity. “Can we talk about why I’m here, first?”</p><p>Donghyuck sips at his drink. “Yeah.” He nods. “Okay.”</p><p>Frowning at the way Donghyuck seems to be tensing up, bracing himself, Yukhei tilts his head to the side. “Are you nervous?”</p><p>Donghyuck huffs. “I mean, I don’t know what you’re about to say, do I? Of course I am.”</p><p>Unfolding his legs and planting his feet on the floor, Yukhei leans forward, rests his forearms on his thighs and tangles his fingers together. He runs his tongue over his bottom lip subconsciously, wetting his lips as he figures out how he wants to start this conversation.</p><p>Fortunately for him, Donghyuck does it first.</p><p>“It was you in the cave, wasn’t it?”</p><p>Yukhei stares down at his hands before nodding. “Yeah. It was.” He pauses, then continues. “I’m sorry for intruding. I didn’t mean to listen in, I know it was a private conversation—”</p><p>“I’m glad you were there,” Donghyuck interrupts, waving away Yukhei’s apologies. “After all, it means you know how I feel already, right?”</p><p>The dim lamplight is enough to allow Yukhei to see the bashful blush on Donghyuck’s cheeks. He smiles a little, remembering what was said then.</p><p>
  <em>I can’t stop loving him. Even after all this time.</em>
</p><p>Yukhei can’t help the relief that floods into his voice. “<em>Yes</em>,” he breathes. “I… honestly, I’m not really sorry for being there. If I hadn’t heard you say all that, then I might never have come here.”</p><p>“Why?” Donghyuck asks after a moment.</p><p>Yukhei shrugs. “I was giving you the space you needed,” he explains, as if it was obvious.</p><p>Donghyuck laughs, incredulous. “I can’t believe us.”</p><p>Slightly taken aback, Yukhei raises an eyebrow.</p><p>“Didn’t you ever consider that it was that space that was what was causing a rift between us?” Donghyuck asks.</p><p>Yukhei frowns. “It was what you asked for, though, wasn’t it?”</p><p>“It was,” Donghyuck says slowly. He scratches his head. “And it was what I needed at first. I was so pissed off.” He laughs at himself. “God, Yukhei, I was. I couldn’t help but think ‘he’s just like Johnny’ that I didn’t stop to consider how <em>you</em> felt until the anger had completely faded. And then once I had calmed down, I just really fucking missed you.” Donghyuck runs a hand through his hair. “Distance didn’t solve the misunderstanding. Distance didn’t solve your fear. So why did we think that distance would solve my upset and your hurt?”</p><p>It makes sense. In hindsight, it’s obvious, and they should have talked it through sooner. “Think of all the time we’ve wasted.” Yukhei thinks aloud, mourning the hours spent together they’ve lost.</p><p>Donghyuck shakes his head. “Don’t think about it like that,” he insists. “There’s no point. We just have to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”</p><p>Yukhei nods. He watches as Donghyuck tips the last of his hot chocolate down his throat, then when their eyes tentatively meet again, he gestures to the seat next to Donghyuck. “Can I sit there?”</p><p>Donghyuck softens. “Of course.”</p><p>Yukhei hitches forward in his seat and pushes himself into a standing position with care, swaying only slightly as he makes his way around the coffee table to sit next to Donghyuck.</p><p>Slowly, giving him the chance to pull away if he wants to, Yukhei reaches for Donghyuck’s hands. He takes them within his own, rubbing his thumbs over Donghyuck’s knuckles. “If you would allow me,” Yukhei starts, “I would like to start again with you. I would like to court you.”</p><p>Donghyuck giggles, squeezing Yukhei’s hands. “Court me? How formal of you,” he teases.</p><p>Yukhei ducks his head in embarrassment. “It’s just a mermaid thing then, I’m guessing.”</p><p>Donghyuck hums. “Haven’t you been courting me already, though? That’s what it feels like. All summer, I mean.”</p><p>Yukhei is hit with memories of the sun, of being lost in Donghyuck’s essence; of pure, potent happiness. Memories tinted in gold.</p><p>He sighs. “It didn’t end up very well though, did it?”</p><p>“Yeah, but…” Donghyuck shrugs. “Your heart was in the right place. I would be okay with moving on from all that now, I think.”</p><p>Yukhei shuffles a little closer. “Are you sure?”</p><p>“Yeah. I think we’ve been through enough, haven’t we? You being here—with fucking <em>legs</em>, might I remind you, that’s insane—that says enough to me.” Donghyuck lifts one hand to gently cup Yukhei’s cheek. The mermaid leans into the touch, eyes and smile soft as he takes in Donghyuck’s sincerity. “So, would you like to date me properly?”</p><p>Yukhei can only just hold himself back from bouncing in his seat, feeling absolute elation running through every inch of him as Donghyuck asks that. He feels so much relief. “Like boyfriends?” He asks, eyes sparkling.</p><p>Donghyuck mirrors his joy, nodding shyly as he bites his lip to try and contain his grin. “Like boyfriends.”</p><p>“I would love nothing more,” Yukhei says sincerely, lacing his and Donghyuck’s fingers together and squeezing. Donghyuck bites back a grin at the feeling of Yukhei’s webbed fingers between his own; he leans forward unwittingly, crowding into Yukhei’s space.</p><p>It’s because of this proximity that Donghyuck notices the way Yukhei presses his lips together in hesitation.</p><p>“What is it?” Donghyuck asks worriedly, searching Yukhei’s eyes for an answer.</p><p>“I need you to know something…” Yukhei begins. “I might be able to appear human, but as you can see, I still have scales… I’ll never really stop being a mermaid. And I don’t want to stop. Please don’t ask me to give up what I am.” He requests the last part quietly, as if somehow he thinks that Donghyuck would have the audacity to take that from him.</p><p>Donghyuck shakes his head. “I would never ask you to do that for me,” he murmurs.</p><p>Yukhei raises his head to meet Donghyuck’s eyes. “Aren’t you scared, though?”</p><p>Donghyuck shrugs. “I mean. Maybe it’s daunting, but that’s only because it’s new, I think. We’ll figure it out, I promise. I want to make it work with you.”</p><p>Relieved, Yukhei nods. “Thank you.”</p><p>Donghyuck sends him a reassuring smile in lieu of a reply. As the easy quietude settles over them, Yukhei reaches up to run his hand through Donghyuck’s overflowing curls, pushing them away from his forehead slightly and behind his ear.</p><p>“They need cutting,” Donghyuck murmurs absently as he in return runs his eyes over every inch of Yukhei’s face, trying to figure out what he did to be lucky enough to be able to call Yukhei his.</p><p>Yukhei looks almost affronted. “Why? I think your curls are beautiful like this.”</p><p>Donghyuck hums, reaching out to tug on the ends of Yukhei’s own lengthy hair before tangling his fingers in it and brushing against the side of Yukhei’s neck. “They get in my eyes,” he admits. He won’t meet Yukhei’s gaze though, so Yukhei frowns, getting the feeling that’s only part of the reason.</p><p>“Well. You’ll be handsome as heck with or without cutting them.” Yukhei decides not to push it.</p><p>Donghyuck giggles. But any response he was about to come back with dies in his throat when he catches sight of how Yukhei is looking at him. Face illuminated by the light of the lamp behind them, Donghyuck can finally see every drop of adoration resting there: resting in the fond curve of his mouth, overflowing from the warm depth of his gaze.</p><p>No one has ever looked at Donghyuck like that. Like he’s worth a million dollars. Like he’s worth being treasured.</p><p>It makes Donghyuck want to freeze the moment, to be caught in this feeling forever. To always be able to recollect what it’s like to be unerringly loved.</p><p>“Donghyuck?” Yukhei calls quietly. In answer, Donghyuck looks up at him. “Can I kiss you?”</p><p>Instead of responding, Donghyuck leans forward, pressing their lips together. Yukhei lets out a little gasp of surprise.</p><p>It only lasts a second or so, but that’s enough for Yukhei to feel as though life has been breathed back into his body. He feels lighter than air, floating through the clouds as Donghyuck throws his leg over Yukhei’s lap lazily and connects their mouths again.</p><p>They kiss a few more times; lingering, closed-mouth kisses filled with all the feelings that the both of them have been holding in for so long. Donghyuck’s hands rest on Yukhei’s nape, fingers threading into his hair as Yukhei caresses his thumb across the apple of Donghyuck’s cheek, hand sitting against the edge of Donghyuck’s face like it was made to go there.</p><p>Sooner than he’d have liked, the late hour begins to claim Donghyuck, tiredness making it hard to hold his head up anymore. When Donghyuck slumps against his chest, Yukhei hauls him onto his lap properly. He tucks Donghyuck’s face into his neck and loops his arms around Donghyuck’s waist.</p><p>There, comfortable with his cheek resting on Donghyuck’s crown of curls and with Donghyuck pressing a final tired kiss to the base of his neck, is where they fall asleep.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Yukhei wakes the next morning to a crick in his neck and the faint sound of raised voices coming from the kitchen. As soon as the voices filter into his head, he sits up straight on the sofa, blinking the last hints of sleep from his eyes.</p><p>He strains slightly, trying to hear more clearly. Donghyuck’s voice is easy to pick out, but the other one is unfamiliar to Yukhei, meaning it can only be one person: Johnny.</p><p>Yukhei doesn’t have to make out the conversation word for word to know what they’re talking about.</p><p>Stretching out each limb before hauling himself off of the sofa, Yukhei makes his way silently towards the kitchen. The door has been left ajar; from where he stands with his back pressed against the wall, Yukei realises that it’s less of a conversation and more of a heated discussion.</p><p>“—can’t just bring him here without my permission! You are not the only one who lives here.” The voice Yukhei assumes to be Johnny’s rings out, full of indignant annoyance.</p><p>Yukhei peeks through the gap in the door. The brothers are stood on either side of the island: Donghyuck stands back slightly, hands linked and resting on top of his head in exasperation, and Johnny is leaning with both hands on the counter, staring right at Donghyuck. He’s taller than Yukhei expected him to be, with a neat haircut and stylish but comfortable clothes and a piercing gaze.</p><p>“Where else was I supposed to send him? We have more than enough space here! Besides, it’s not like you actually spend time here anyway, so I don’t see what you’re mad about,” Donghyuck snaps.</p><p>“That’s not the point,” Johnny returns. “The point is that you’re close enough to him that you’re inviting him to live here and yet this is the first I’m hearing of him. Why haven’t you mentioned him before?”</p><p>Donghyuck snorts, rolling his eyes. “I can’t believe you still think we’re close enough for me to tell you about these things. When was the last time I voluntarily told you about something in my life, huh?”</p><p>Yukhei winces as he sees Johnny flinch. He’s not sure about the extent of the rift between the brothers, because Donghyuck never liked to talk about it, but he can tell that whatever is there is going to take a long time to patch up.</p><p>“Hyuck…”</p><p>“You’re so…” Donghyuck gesticulates in frustration. “You’re so suffocating, Johnny! All the time! I get that you care, but I’m twenty-five, not twelve, and it’s just too much.”</p><p>“I’m your brother, of course I care!”</p><p>“Yeah, but that’s the thing, isn’t it?” Donghyuck says. “We’re not proper brothers, so you’re overcompensating. I know you’ve always worried I’ll feel like I’m not a part of the family, so you try to get closer to me to prevent that. The thing is, that when I try to retreat and have my own space, you just follow! Like if I have time alone, like a regular person, I’ll suddenly be more Donghyuck Lee than Donghyuck Suh.”</p><p>Silence.</p><p>“I’m right, aren’t I?”</p><p>“Donghyuck, you know why…” Johnny murmurs.</p><p>Yukhei suddenly feels like he should not be listening in on this. This feels too private. It’s not his business, even if he is Donghyuck’s boyfriend now.</p><p>The next sentences are exchanged too quietly for Yukhei to hear, even from his position just outside the door. Then the conversation stops all of a sudden, and the kitchen door swings open. Donghyuck sticks his head out and turns to look at Yukhei.</p><p>At the sight of the mermaid, Donghyuck seems to relax. “Thank God you’re here,” he mutters, then grabs Yukhei’s hand and drags him into the kitchen.</p><p>Yukhei stumbles after him, hoping his worry (and small amount of fear, if he’s being really honest) isn’t too poorly disguised.</p><p>Johnny is sat on one of the bar stools, elbows resting on the island as he gnaws at the skin at the side of his thumb. When Donghyuck and Yukhei come back into his view, he almost jumps, seemingly doing a double-take.</p><p>“Johnny, this is my boyfriend Yukhei.” Donghyuck graciously introduces them. </p><p>Yukhei puts on his best smile and reaches out a hand, just as Mark had instructed. “It’s nice to meet you, sir,” he says politely, shaking Johnny’s hand firmly.</p><p>“Nice to meet you too,” Johnny echoes. “Call me Johnny though, please.”</p><p>Yukhei nods. “Sure.”</p><p>“I didn’t tell you we were dating because it’s pretty new,” Donghyuck cuts in. “And anyway, I didn’t want your inevitably excessive opinion passed upon it.”</p><p>“Donghyuck,” Johnny says sharply. “Don’t be rude.”</p><p>Yukhei shuffles his feet. He feels like he’s been caught in a crossfire. He squeezes Donghyuck’s hand, hoping that Donghyuck will calm down a little. He can feel his anger and irritation bubbling in him just from the way he grips at Yukhei’s hand, and from the firm set of his mouth.</p><p>Donghyuck closes his eyes. Yukhei knows he doesn’t like getting upset with Johnny; in the fleeting conversations that they’ve had about Donghyuck’s older brother, Donghyuck has confessed that he doesn’t enjoy fighting with his brother. He just doesn’t know how to get Johnny to stop acting like he does without shouting it at him, because he doesn’t think that Johnny will hear him any other way.</p><p>It’s a difficult thing to navigate, Yukhei understands. And he gets it: he wouldn’t know how to deal with this either. Mermaids are so independent by nature, so there’s never any issue with overbearing parental figures.</p><p>Donghyuck hasn’t told him yet the reason that Johnny became like this, so he can’t pass an opinion on it. Yukhei is sure something pretty serious must have happened for it to get to this point, but no matter how curious he gets, he won’t make Donghyuck talk about it until Donghyuck does it of his own accord.</p><p>Beside him, Donghyuck opens his eyes. “I am sorry for shouting,” Donghyuck apologises. Yukhei is surprised by how sincere he sounds. “But I don’t take back anything I said. I don’t believe I said anything wrong—anything that wasn’t true,” he corrects. “I just shouldn’t have raised my voice at you.”</p><p>Johnny nods, the beginnings of a grateful smile curling at the corners of his mouth.</p><p>“You want me to be happy, right?” Donghyuck asks. “Well, Yukhei makes me happy. Please don’t interfere with that.”</p><p>Johnny only nods, watching after them as Donghyuck leads Yukhei out of the room.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck gives him a tour of the rest of the house, ending up by bringing Yukhei to his bedroom.</p><p>Yukhei’s neverending curiosity is peaked as soon as he crosses the threshold. He immediately notices how calm and peaceful the room is despite its large size: cream, almost sandy coloured walls, natural furnishings and various plants dotted around. There are a lot of plants everywhere actually, a silent brag about Donghyuck’s green thumb. Light curtains hang at the window, allowing the room to be flooded in airy sunlight. The bed stands in almost the centre of the room, with a busy floor-to-ceiling bookshelf on the left being the only thing between the bed and the wall. Above the bed, a few framed posters, and in the window by the corner sits a desk covered in various bits of electrical equipment and an open laptop.</p><p>Yukhei wanders around, fascinated. In the corner by the door is a wide chest of drawers, on top of which is a jewellery stand and a small tray filled with loose change and a set of keys. There’s a mirror hung above the chest of drawers—Yukhei pulls a silly face at his reflection, and Donghyuck laughs softly behind him—and the left-hand top drawer has been left open. The cable for a hairdryer spills over the edge, the thing itself having been crammed down the side of a tray holding bottles, brushes, and slim boxes of purposes unknown to Yukhei. Donghyuck appears next to him, hurriedly shoving the cable back in and slamming the drawer shut.</p><p>“Sorry,” he says, embarrassment creeping into his voice. “My make-up drawer is always kinda messy.”</p><p>“Make-up?” Yukhei asks.</p><p>He knows what it is, of course, has noticed the days when there’s a slick line of black along the top of Donghyuck’s eyes and when there isn’t. He’s often admired the nail polish that absentmindedly decorates the odd fingernail. But he didn’t quite realise the extent of Donghyuck’s collection.</p><p>“Yeah!” Donghyuck pulls the drawer open again, rifling through the collection. “I don’t really wear it to the beach ‘cause the water would ruin it. But I just think it’s fun, you know?”</p><p>“I know,” Yukhei agrees cheerfully, even though he doesn’t.</p><p>Donghyuck bumps their hips together. “Don’t lie.” He laughs. “Can I do your make-up one day?” He asks, twirling a tube of <em>something</em> between his fingers.</p><p>“Sure, sunflower,” Yukhei says, any reluctance he might’ve felt instantly dying away at the sight of Donghyuck’s eyes sparkling. “Maybe another time though?”</p><p>Donghyuck pouts, but acquiesces and closes the drawer again nevertheless. Yukhei turns his attention to the box taking up the right side of the cabinet. “What’s this?” He asks.</p><p>“Oh!” Donghyuck hums, moving around Yukhei to unclick the box and lift the lid. “It’s a record player,” he says, almost expectantly. When Yukhei doesn’t show any recognition, he heads over to the bookshelf and gestures to the third shelf down. It’s crammed with what almost looks like really tall, really thin books, but when Donghyuck pulls one out gently Yukhei realises they’re actually just large square sleeves.</p><p>“You know like CDs and stuff, right?” Yukhei nods: he’s heard about those at least. “Well, this is like an older version. Before CDs were invented, there was vinyl. Wanna listen to something?”</p><p>Intrigued, Yukhei agrees.</p><p>“What do you wanna listen to?”</p><p>Oh. He kind of thought Donghyuck would choose, because Yukhei’s music knowledge doesn’t really go any further than traditional mermaid songs, but his eyes land on one of the posters above Donghyuck’s bed and he points to it. “Them?”</p><p>It’s a picture of four people; two men and two women.</p><p>Donghyuck grins. “ABBA. An <em>excellent</em> choice.” He runs his index finger over the records until he lands on the one he was looking for.</p><p>He spins the cardboard sleeve in his hands as he comes back over to the record player. With care, he slides the disc out of its case and slots it into place. Yukhei watches, fascinated, as Donghyuck then lifts the arm at the side and drops it precisely onto the record.</p><p>“There’s a needle on the underside,” he explains. “That’s how it plays.”</p><p>“How?”</p><p>“I have no idea.” Donghyuck laughs as he fiddles with something. “That’s the magic of it, I guess.”</p><p>The player bursts into life as the vinyl begins to spin around. The first notes filter into the air and to Yukhei’s delight, Donghyuck begins to sway next to him, quietly grooving to the beat.</p><p>After a few seconds, Yukhei registers that he’s also been caught up in the music, joining Donghyuck in almost surreptitiously dancing. He’s still unsteady on his feet, reluctant to do anything that’ll land him on his ass again, but when Donghyuck takes him by the hands and drags him to the middle of the room he can’t help but follow. </p><p>“It’s <em>Dancing Queen,</em> Xuxi, you can’t not dance to this!” Donghyuck chirps as he twirls himself under Yukhei’s hand.</p><p>If he’s honest, Yukhei doesn’t really know how to dance, even without mentioning that he’s neither young nor sweet or even seventeen. But the more he watches Donghyuck, seeing the way his boyfriend easily moves his body, he realises it’s not about knowing <em>how</em> as such and more about being willing to let go and just <em>feel</em>.</p><p>So he gathers every inch of musicality he has and joins in.</p><p>They dance for a long time, the joy of <em>Dancing Queen</em> morphing into <em>Take A Chance On Me</em> and then to the more electric beats of <em>Lay All Your Love On Me.</em> At some point, Donghyuck started singing along, turning up the volume slightly as he swung his hips, and Yukhei was swept away on the waves of his bliss. </p><p>He must admit, besides Donghyuck’s exhilaration being utterly infectious, it feels so good to just let loose and wave his arms around. Yukhei is aware that his dancing is much less coordinated than Donghyuck’s fluid moves, but he finds he doesn’t care.</p><p>They’ve been through so much these past months, and in this moment of freedom, Yukhei understands just how lucky he is to still be able to see Donghyuck with nothing held back.</p><p>It’s only when the slow melody of <em>Chiquitita </em>starts to play that Yukhei allows himself to tire, flopping back on the bed. He might be more confident on his new legs now, but that doesn’t mean he’s yet used to having to hold himself up like this. Gravity truly is a bitch, he thinks. Donghyuck smiles fondly and follows, lying on his side with his head propped up on one hand. He continues to sing quietly, reaching out to trace random patterns on Yukhei’s forearm. The feeling of fingertips against his skin makes his heart race.</p><p>Yukhei turns his head to look at him. Donghyuck is already looking back, lazily switching between singing and humming. The winter daylight streaming in through the wide window catches him just right, adding to the brightness that Donghyuck already exudes. Yukhei admires him, unabashedly staring. The longer he looks, the more full his heart becomes, until it’s dangerously close to overflowing and consuming him entirely.</p><p>Yukhei doesn’t want to be dramatic, but he can’t help wondering if it’s too early to propose.</p><p>Tragically, he concludes it must be. It’s been less than a day, after all. Yukhei needs to exercise some restraint; maybe it does feel like everything is falling into place again, but that’s even more reason to take it slow. He must treasure this. </p><p><em>I’m so lucky to have him</em>, Yukhei thinks instead, not brave enough to say it out loud. </p><p>“That was fun, wasn’t it?” Donghyuck says when the song eventually comes to a close.</p><p>Yukhei nods, darting forward to press a kiss to Donghyuck’s cheek. Donghyuck scrunches his nose cutely, batting Yukhei away.</p><p>“I’m really glad you came,” Donghyuck confesses, rolling onto his back. As he begins to pick at his nails, Yukhei reaches over and takes one of his hands in his own, tangling their fingers together as he waits for Donghyuck to elaborate.</p><p>“I didn’t realise quite how much I needed you until just now,” he admits.</p><p>“How so?” Yukhei brings their joined hands up to press his lips against Donghyuck’s knuckles. Now he’s allowed to openly shower Donghyuck with affection whenever he likes, he’s going to take complete advantage of it. He never wants Donghyuck to doubt him again. Plus, Yukhei can barely look at him without wanting to gather him up in his arms and hold him.</p><p>“Well… it’s more than that. More than needing you by my side, my pillar of support to lean on when I need you. Because as much as I appreciate that, like how unrelenting you are and how much I can rely on you, you also bring me so much happiness. Life seems so much brighter when I’m with you, you know? I feel like I can get through anything. Through everything.” He hesitates. “Somehow when we first met you got under my skin.” Donghyuck sits up as he says this, face serious. “You cracked me open and I felt so sure about trusting you—it was different to my friends. It felt so right. I can’t explain it, but every time I was with you everything felt so easy. So simple. So <em>achievable</em>. I dunno, Xuxi.” Donghyuck laughs at himself. “I don’t really know what I’m saying, but you get it, right? You’re the best for me.”</p><p>Yukhei grins, relieved that Donghyuck is just as wholeheartedly enamoured with him as he is in return. It feels reassuring to know that he is not the only one who fell, and is still falling, fast and hard.</p><p>He sits up, clumsily folding his own legs until they’re sitting facing each other with their knees touching. Then, delicately, he takes Donghyuck’s face in his hands and kisses him deeply.</p><p>When they pull apart, Yukhei rests his forehead against Donghyuck’s. “You never have to hide yourself around me. I am here for every part of you,” he murmurs. “All the good, all the bad, all the ugly. I’m here for all of it, and I never want you to feel ashamed. Or like you have to hide it ‘cause you think I don’t want to know.” He wipes away the tear that escapes down Donghyuck’s cheek and pecks his nose. Donghyuck huffs a laugh.</p><p>“I’m serious, sunflower. Just because I’ve seen your lows as well as your highs does not mean my feelings have changed. I feel exactly the same as you do.”</p><p>Donghyuck clambers into his lap and wraps his arms around Yukhei’s broad shoulders, burying his face in Yukhei’s long hair. “Thank you. Thank you,” he mumbles, over and over. Then, he leans back, hands on Yukhei’s shoulders. He takes a deep breath.</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>Yukhei feels such a huge surge of elation at those three words that he feels as though he needs to hit something.</p><p>“I’m sorry if it’s too soon, but really I’ve loved you for so long, maybe even since summer, and—even with those two months of shit, I just—” Donghyuck garbles, mouthing running wild with fumbling justifications until Yukhei presses a hand over his mouth.</p><p>He’s smiling. “It’s okay, flower. I love you too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I think we all need a supportive bff like markie tbh<br/>we have made it through the angst!! pls look forward to lots of fluff to make up for it :) check out that disgustingly in love tag........oh yeah that's my groove mmm I love love</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. seven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yukhei and Donghyuck have their first Christmas season together.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They don’t discuss the argument Donghyuck and Johnny had about Yukhei on that eventful first morning until a few days later. Needless to say, Yukhei’s wanted to bring it up, but Johnny disappeared pretty much instantly afterwards—gone to the city for business was what the note said, but Donghyuck seemed to think he was just giving them all space to clear their heads—and he hadn’t wanted to interrupt Donghyuck’s good mood.</p>
<p>It was inevitable that they would talk about it though; they needed to.</p>
<p>Yukhei just didn’t expect it to be during their first movie night together.</p>
<p>Donghyuck had been adamant that one of the most important things to know about to ease his entrance into the human world was movie culture. So, naturally, he’d started with superheros. To say Yukhei was excited was probably a bit of an understatement.</p>
<p>However, about a quarter of the way through the first Iron Man film, it becomes apparent that Donghyuck is no longer paying attention.</p>
<p>He’s fidgeting in his seat, picking at his nails as his gaze flickers around, never focusing for long enough for his unease to go unnoticed. Even if he wasn’t pressed right up against Yukhei’s side, it still wouldn’t have been subtle enough. Eventually, Yukhei reaches over and clasps one of Donghyuck’s hands in his own.</p>
<p>“What’s up, buttercup?” He asks.</p>
<p>Donghyuck tenses, as if someone just shone a flashlight right at him. “I’ve just got something on my mind, I guess,” he replies honestly.</p>
<p>Yukhei appreciates it. “Wanna talk about it?”</p>
<p>Donghyuck runs his teeth over his bottom lip, considering. “Yeah,” he says after a while, and leans over to grab the remote and turn the volume on the TV down.</p>
<p>“I’ve been thinking about the row. With Johnny.”</p>
<p>Ah. That makes sense.</p>
<p>“Oh yeah?”</p>
<p>“Mm.”</p>
<p>“In what way?” Yukhei prompts.</p>
<p>Donghyuck scratches at his forehead. “Well. In a way, it was long coming. I don’t think you heard the worst of it, so you might not agree, but it was. He was upset that I’d been upset for so long. It was kind of brewing, if you ask me. And then he was pissed that I let you back in like that. And then I was mad ‘cause he was.” Donghyuck sighs, rubbing his face with one hand. “Messy, right?”</p>
<p>“Not at all,” Yukhei murmurs, understanding completely.</p>
<p>There’s a pause, and then: “I regret it.”</p>
<p>“Oh?” Yukhei raises his eyebrows.</p>
<p>“It might have been a long time coming, but that doesn’t mean it had to play out like that. I’ve told you before I’m tired of us being like this, but…”</p>
<p>“But you don’t know how to change it.” Yukhei fills in when Donghyuck trails off. Donghyuck nods.</p>
<p>“Exactly. So it always ends up being this horrible row and we just end up back where we started.”</p>
<p>Yukhei hums. He doesn’t know if Donghyuck is looking for advice or just someone to let it all out to, so he keeps his thoughts to himself as Donghyuck vocalises his.</p>
<p>“The thing is, I don’t really know whether he doesn’t know how to change it either or if at this point he just doesn’t want to,” Donghyuck admits. “I’d like to think it’s the first, but I’m no mind reader.”</p>
<p>“For what it’s worth, I think he doesn’t know how to.” Yukhei says. Donghyuck raises an eyebrow. “I think he does really care for you,” Yukhei continues. “Even if he sometimes comes on waaaay too strong with it, and channels it in the wrong ways. What’s the word?” Yukhei fumbles for a second. “Oh, misdirected! Yeah. That’s it.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck huffs. “Maybe. I’d have thought he’d have got the hint by now though. I’ve told him what I want from him enough times. He’s smart enough.”</p>
<p>Yukhei shifts his position and rests a hand on Donghyuck’s knee. “Just because he’s writing-smart doesn’t mean he’s emotions-smart,” Yukhei says gently, internally pumping his fist as he manages to dole out a half-decent piece of advice. “Like I said, I think he just doesn’t know how to change. He’s been showing his affections for you in this way for so long it’s hard to not immediately leap on you at every opportunity.” </p>
<p>Donghyuck nods dejectedly. “But every time we row, I swear he just disappears. He doesn’t spend enough time here to work it out. Look.” Donghyuck gestures around the room. “He’s not even here now. He’s fucked off. Is he even actually doing work? I don’t know.”</p>
<p>Yukhei rubs Donghyuck’s knee soothingly, thinking back to the argument. “You did ask him to not interfere,” he says, remembering the last thing Donghyuck said to Johnny. “Maybe he’s just doing that in the only way he thinks he can.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck seems to slump in on himself. “But that’s the problem,” he mumbles. “He can’t find a middle. He’s either too close or too far away. I don’t think he understands that I never wanted him to coddle me: I didn’t <em>need</em> that. I just needed him to treat me like he would have a regular brother.”</p>
<p>“A regular brother...?” Yukhei echoes.</p>
<p>“I’m adopted,” Donghyuck finally tells him flat out. Yukhei is a little surprised that this has never come up before, but he figures that Donghyuck just didn’t think it was a necessary piece of information to tell. He’d had his suspicions after overhearing the argument, but he hadn’t wanted to pry. “And the circumstances that led to me being adopted were not… pleasant, shall we say? I don’t remember much, but yeah. And then of course my parents—well, adopted parents, <em>Johnny’s</em> parents—they died, and that really just did not help. I was maybe fifteen, so Johnny became my guardian in their place.”</p>
<p>Suddenly, everything seems to make so much more sense. Yukhei feels like he’s just been given the missing piece of a very complicated puzzle, and now finally he can see the picture clearly.</p>
<p>“Anyway…” Donghyuck doesn’t linger, moving the conversation quickly on. “I just wish he would sit down and listen to me. Like, really listen, instead of immediately walking all over what I want with what he thinks is best.”</p>
<p>Yukhei hums. “I’m sure you’ll get there eventually.”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Donghyuck pats the hand that’s still resting on his knee. “Hey. I’m sorry if you felt like you were getting in between us, or that you caused the argument. You didn’t, I promise.” This time, it’s Donghyuck that grips Yukhei’s hand tightly.</p>
<p>It had been on his mind. Yukhei couldn’t help but think that he had somehow sparked the argument, especially based on the parts that he heard, so he feels a little bit of the weight lift from his shoulders as Donghyuck reassures him that’s not the case at all. He’s here to prevent tension in their own relationship; he doesn’t want to be the cause of tension elsewhere in Donghyuck’s life.</p>
<p>“I’m glad,” Yukhei murmurs, snaking an arm round Donghyuck’s waist and pulling his boyfriend closer so he can press a kiss to the top of his head. “Now, can we get back to the movie? I wanna see how Mr Stark wins.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck sighs fondly and turns the volume up again before snuggling deeper into Yukhei’s side. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Johnny did return eventually, only to head back to the city on the 20th. Yukhei didn’t intervene when Donghyuck’s brother told them he’d be back after Christmas and left, but he was the only one who noticed how Johnny lingered by the front door, looking back over his shoulder at where Donghyuck was resolutely ignoring him from the sofa.</p>
<p>Yukhei sighs. Donghyuck had seemed relatively unaffected by the whole thing though, so he pushed it to the back of his mind in favour of throwing himself into Christmas preparations.</p>
<p>When Donghyuck said he loves Christmas, Yukhei wasn’t quite prepared for just how true that statement was.</p>
<p>Donghyuck <em>embodies</em> Christmas.</p>
<p>Currently, Yukhei is wrestling with a tangled ball of tinsel while Donghyuck dances round the living room, singing Christmas songs at the top of his voice as he strings various decorations over every available surface.</p>
<p>He’d been woken this morning by the sound of Donghyuck dragging boxes out of the loft—“I’ve been up for <em>hours</em>, Xuxi, come on, give me a hand!”—and then promptly thrown directly into the centre of festive madness.</p>
<p>Donghyuck has kindly let him decorate the whole tree himself. Lights first, as instructed, several different coloured sets woven round the artificial tree. Then tinsel; Yukhei finally gets each piece free of the knot, and begins to layer it on top of the lights. There doesn’t seem to be any coherent colour scheme. It’s just <em>all</em> the colours. Actually, now he thinks about it, it reminds Yukhei of his mermaid tail.</p>
<p>He’s got used to living with legs now, if you ignore the fact he still hates the sight of his feet. Where Donghyuck takes daily showers in the morning, Yukhei ends his days with a long soak in the bathtub, his tail hanging over the edge. It’s the easiest way they’ve found for him to keep his energy topped up—initially, they’d been traipsing down to the sea regularly so Yukhei could splash around for a bit, but eventually that just took too much time out of his day. Yeah, he felt more energised after swimming around properly than after a bath, but when there’s so much to do and see and explore during the day, Yukhei had to sacrifice it.</p>
<p>But as he has to crumple to the floor and catch his breath after finishing the tinsel, Yukhei gets the feeling he needs to go to the sea sooner rather than later. He doesn’t usually get this tired so easily.</p>
<p><em>Should I be concerned?</em> Yukhei wonders, stifling a yawn.</p>
<p>It’s not like he’s been sleeping badly either. He and Donghyuck share a bed, and he never feels more well-rested than when he wakes up with Donghyuck wrapped around him. This feeling is more reminiscent of what Donghyuck has told him he feels after having to write constantly for days on end. It’s bone-deep, something you can’t shift without hours upon hours of rest and recuperation.</p>
<p><em>I should probably be worried,</em> Yukhei concludes, but pushes himself off the floor and begins to hang the baubles on the tree anyway.</p>
<p>Donghyuck skids into the room minutes later and tugs on Yukhei’s arm excitedly. “Turn around!” He cries, and shoves a hat on Yukhei’s head when he obliges. “I found the stash of santa hats.” He giggles, reaching up to rearrange Yukhei’s hair where it’s spilling out of its ponytail.</p>
<p>Yukhei pulls Donghyuck closer by the waist and kisses his smile. “What’s santa?” He murmurs, leaning back slightly to pull Donghyuck’s own hat more securely onto his head.</p>
<p>Donghyuck gasps, horrified. “You don’t know Santa?! Oh my God. Oh my <em>God.</em>” He disappears and comes back a moment later with what appears to be a ginormous sock. “Santa is an old man who lives in the North Pole and has billions of elves who make presents. On Christmas Eve, he flies round the world and comes down your chimney and fills up your stocking!” He holds up the sock enthusiastically. Yukhei admires its fluffy trim and sparkly pattern—very tasteful. “Oh, but he only fills up your stocking if you’ve been good all year,” Donghyuck adds, looking thoughtful.</p>
<p>“Oh?” Yukhei raises an eyebrow. “And have you?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know, Xuxi.” Donghyuck smirks. “Have I?”</p>
<p>Yukhei grins, looping his arms around Donghyuck’s waist and pulling him close again. Donghyuck rests his hands on Yukhei’s chest and stands on his tiptoes, leaning up to meet Yukhei halfway. His eyes flutter closed as their lips slot together.</p>
<p>The feeling of kissing Yukhei never changes. It always feels just as incredible as it did the first time. Yukhei kisses him deeply but tenderly, his hands splayed across Donghyuck’s lower back. Donghyuck feels tiny and treasured in Yukhei’s arms, and he loves it.</p>
<p>He reaches up to cup Yukhei’s jaw just as Yukhei kisses the corner of his mouth and pulls away with a smile.</p>
<p>“So good,” he murmurs, kissing Donghyuck’s forehead.</p>
<p>Donghyuck slaps his chest. “Idiot,” he says, but it’s fond.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This year, Donghyuck tells Yukhei, Christmas Eve is going to be spent at Jeno’s house. Apparently it’s their little tradition: Christmas Eve is always spent together, the four of them—now five, including Yukhei.</p>
<p>And then six, they discover, when Jeno lets them in and they find Mark curled against Jaemin’s side. Legs and all. When he hears them arrive, Mark almost jumps off the sofa and hurries over, face lighting up.</p>
<p>“Mark?!” Yukhei shrieks, throwing his coat at Donghyuck and leaping on his friend in excitement.</p>
<p>Mark squeezes him tightly. “Hey, Lucas.”</p>
<p>“I can’t believe you’re here,” Yukhei says, eyes sparkling. Every ounce of nerves he’d felt before coming here completely disappears upon seeing his best friend. <em>Best Christmas ever</em>, he decides, despite the fact it’s his first real one.</p>
<p>“Jaemin invited me,” Mark explains. He drags Yukhei into Jeno’s living room where the others are all sitting on the sofas. They’ve been arranged around the towering Christmas tree in the corner—which to his absolute delight Yukhei discovers is <em>real</em>, not plastic— and opposite the sofa Jaemin is sat on is a roaring fire in an elegant hearth. </p>
<p>It’s much earthier and warmer than Donghyuck’s house. There seems to be an older touch to the decor: the walls are painted a lush dark green colour, but it doesn’t make the room feel shadowed or closed in at  all, even with the addition of rich dark brown furnishings. Like Donghyuck’s house, there are photos everywhere, but there’s also artwork hung up too, and tinsel draped around each and every frame.</p>
<p>“Of course he did.” Yukhei makes himself comfortable on the sofa; Mark squeezes in between him and Jaemin, who automatically puts his arm around Mark’s shoulders.</p>
<p>Donghyuck joins them, with Jeno trailing after him. There’s a funny look on Jeno’s face, and he keeps looking over at Yukhei, but the mermaid tries to not let it bother him as he tugs Donghyuck off the arm of the sofa and onto his lap. Instead he wraps his arms around Donghyuck’s waist, pinning his back against Yukhei’s chest.</p>
<p>“So,” Donghyuck pipes up, “I know you’ve all met him already, but I kind of wanted to reintroduce him.” He pats Yukhei’s hands where they’re linked against Donghyuck’s stomach. “Guys, this is Yukhei, my boyfriend.”</p>
<p>At that, Yukhei receives a gleeful congratulatory elbow to his side, courtesy of Mark.</p>
<p>“Nice to meet you.” Renjun plays along, nodding at him happily. Jaemin echoes the same sentiments as he runs his hand through Mark’s hair.</p>
<p>Jeno seems reluctant, but shoots Yukhei a smile nonetheless. And that’s enough for the mermaid: Donghyuck had told him that Jeno would be less quick to forgive than the others, so he should accept each small victory as it comes. It could be a while before Jeno is completely back in the Yukhei fanclub.</p>
<p>For the most part, Yukhei sinks into the corner of the sofa and just absorbs it all rather than joining in the conversation too much. He knows it’s not like him to be quiet, but he finds he’s just grateful to be here; much like Mark, he’s happy to observe as the four friends bicker and play around with each other.</p>
<p>Yukhei finds out that this is Jeno’s parents’ house, that Jeno is staying here for a bit until he’s able to move into his new apartment. About an hour and a half after Donghyuck and Yukhei arrive, Jeno’s parents show their faces, popping their heads round the living room door to ask if anyone wants anything. They come back with hot drinks and a whole selection of snacks—Donghyuck hands Yukhei his glass of pink milk and a bunch of grapes, which Yukhei begins to munch on.</p>
<p>He’s been feeling a bit woozy, so he sips the milk desperately in the hopes that the coolness will shock some energy into him. He wonders if he’s getting sick; perhaps he’s caught what Donghyuck came down with at the start of the month? Certainly his head feels cloudy enough. Kind of like something is pressing down on his forehead, sucking all the life from him.</p>
<p>It’s not until they’re in the midst of exchanging presents that Donghyuck asks if he’s okay.</p>
<p>“Yeah, just tired is all.” Yukhei tries to brush off his concern. The pink milk had worked for a while, but now that same sleepy feeling is back in full force.</p>
<p>Donghyuck frowns, unconvinced, and presses the back of his hand to Yukhei’s forehead. “You look a bit ropey,” Donghyuck mutters.</p>
<p>Yukhei darts forward and pecks Donghyuck’s lips, ignoring how much effort it took to pull his body away from the sofa. “I promise I’m okay. Don’t worry about me, sunflower.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck looks uneasy, but turns around to snuggle back against Yukhei’s chest anyway when Jeno clears his throat. </p>
<p>“If you two are quite done,” Jeno says, earning a few giggles from the others, “I actually have a gift for you, Yukhei.”</p>
<p>Yukhei’s eyes widen. “Me?” He asks, managing to sit up as Donghyuck slips into the gap on the sofa left by Mark when he moved to sit on the floor between Jaemin’s legs.</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Jeno nods. “Here.” He holds out a pretty sizable package, and Yukhei takes it slowly.</p>
<p>“Wow,” Yukhei breathes. “I didn’t—thanks, Jeno.” He looks from the present back up to Jeno, who is tentatively smiling at him.</p>
<p>Feeling like he’s got a spotlight shining down on him from the way everyone’s attention is suddenly focused on him, Yukhei tears at the paper to open his gift. The shiny wrapping paper falls away to leave Yukhei holding the softest jumper he’s ever touched.</p>
<p>He rubs his thumbs over the material. Donghyuck reaches out to have a feel himself, murmuring “Oh, cashmere,” quietly as he does so.</p>
<p>Yukhei beams at Jeno. “This is incredible,” he says, holding it up to see the full jumper. It’s made of a thick, cream-coloured wool, with a v-neck and a cuff around the ends of the sleeves and the hem. It’s beautiful. Yukhei loves it.</p>
<p>Jeno rubs the back of his neck. “I just thought you’d want some more clothes of your own. I know you went shopping with Donghyuck, but he said you still didn’t have that many things, so… I asked him for your size. I hope it fits alright.”</p>
<p>Yukhei nods. “Thank you, Jeno.” His chest feels tight. This is more than he could have ever expected.</p>
<p>“I just.” Jeno takes a deep breath. “Hyuck is my best friend. And I—it hurt, you know? To see him struggling like he did when… well. <em>You know</em>. But anyway, as much as I wanted to break your nose as soon as you had the audacity to turn up on Hyuck’s doorstep, I could see how happy Hyuck was. I don’t think any of us in the room can deny it.” Renjun shakes his head in agreement. “You make him happier than I have seen him in a long time. And I can’t resent you for that, or get in the way of it. So,” he gestures to the gift. “I want you to know that while I might be a little frosty for a bit, because what kind of best friend would I be if I didn’t test you even a little bit, there’s no hard feelings. You’re one of us now, as is Mark.”</p>
<p>Yukhei looks over to Mark, who meets his eyes with a joyful smile.</p>
<p>“But if you hurt our Hyuckie again, we won’t hesitate to break your new legs,” Jaemin says sweetly, eyes brimming with mirth.</p>
<p>Yukhei salutes, heeding the warning. “I don’t doubt it,” he jokes. “For real though, thanks Jeno. That means a lot to me.” He suddenly feels overcome with emotion, almost as though he could cry. With care he folds up the jumper and hands it to Donghyuck, then gets to his feet with the intention of giving Jeno a grateful hug.</p>
<p>He stays upright for about two seconds, then plummets to the floor, completely blacked out.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>:)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. eight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>There are lots of things that cannot be done without friends.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As soon as he clocks Yukhei collapsing, Mark dives across the floor to catch his head before it comes into contact with the corner of the coffee table. He shouts in pain as his own back takes the hit instead, but immediately ignores it in favour of patting Yukhei’s cheeks to try and get a reaction.</p>
<p>Donghyuck is at his side in an instant. “Xuxi? Xuxi, can you hear me?” Donghyuck says loudly, leaning down to let his cheek hover above Yukhei’s parted lips. “He’s still breathing.” Donghyuck sighs in relief, though it doesn’t help to ease the worry that floods his entire consciousness at the sight of Yukhei unresponsive, all the colour drained from his face. His usually pink lips are paper white, and even the glittering scales that decorate his cheeks seem to have dulled.</p>
<p>Jaemin is sat on the edge of the couch, completely tense and biting his nails helplessly, while both Renjun and Jeno hover above them. Donghyuck looks to Mark, hoping for an answer. “What do we do? What’s wrong with him?”</p>
<p>Mark looks at him, a terrifying amount of fear written clearly on his face. “I… I’m not sure. This has never happened to me.”</p>
<p>“Please, you must know something,” Donghyuck begs, gripping Yukhei’s limp hand within his own. He feels frozen in helplessness.</p>
<p>“I…”</p>
<p>“Can’t we get an ambulance?” Renjun asks.</p>
<p>“No,” Donghyuck says immediately. “Too dangerous. They’ll ask too many questions, he wouldn’t want that.”</p>
<p>Meanwhile, Mark is still patting Yukhei’s face, wracking his brain for anything that could enlighten them at all. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he notices something fluttering on Yukhei’s neck.</p>
<p>He sucks in a breath, immediately reaching down to brush over the skin there. It’s exactly as he suspected: he can feel a slit forming in the raised skin. <em>His gills.</em> “Donghyuck, he’s turning back.” Mark grips Donghyuck’s arm tightly, pointing to Yukhei’s neck.</p>
<p>Almost as if someone presses his play button again, Donghyuck snaps into action. “Jeno, can you run a warm bath? No bubbles or anything, just warm water,” he instructs. “Oh, actually—if you have any salt at all, put some of that in.”</p>
<p>Jeno nods and disappears. Within a minute, the faint sound of the bath taps going at full blast can be heard from downstairs.</p>
<p>“We need to get him upstairs,” Donghyuck says next. Without prompting Jaemin moves to take Yukhei’s feet and Mark hooks his hands under Yukhei’s shoulders; together they lift Yukhei off the ground, weave carefully around the sofa and begin to make the slow ascent up the stairs.</p>
<p>“Please be careful with him,” Donghyuck pleads. He clutches his hands to his chest, twisting his fingers together. In silent support, Renjun puts a comforting hand on his shoulder and they wait until Yukhei has safely made it to the landing before climbing the stairs themselves.</p>
<p>In the bathroom, Jeno is swirling the water around with his hand, making sure the salt has dissolved and that the water is a good temperature. Mark and Jaemin squeeze their way in—Jeno presses himself to the wall to make room—and they lower Yukhei onto the floor.</p>
<p>As Donghyuck barrels through his friends, there’s a horrific ripping sound. Yukhei’s trousers have split in two to make way for his tail involuntarily reforming. He’s now lying on the bathroom floor fully in his mermaid form. At once, Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun’s mouths all fall open in a mixture of shock and untimely awe.</p>
<p>Donghyuck’s fingers hover over Yukhei’s scales. Aside from the colour being almost completely faded, they seem to be shrivelling, shrinking away from their full size and revealing what looks like solid, pale skin beneath.</p>
<p>That in itself is alarming enough, but the situation takes a frightening turn for the worse when Yukhei’s strong tail begins to flap up and down uncontrollably, like a fish that has been ripped from the sea and chucked on the deck. Even with such violent movement, Yukhei doesn’t seem to wake.</p>
<p>When Donghyuck begins to cry, Jeno cradles an arm round his back and encourages him to stand. Distantly, he registers Mark instructing Jaemin and Renjun to help hoist Yukhei into the bath, but all Donghyuck can focus on is the way Jeno is rubbing his back and murmuring soothing words into his ear.</p>
<p>“I’m scared,” Donghyuck mumbles. “So scared, Jeno.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Jeno returns. “I know.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It takes around an hour for anything to happen. Almost as soon as Yukhei’s body touched the water his tail stopped slapping up and down, but it’s only after an angst-riddled hour that his scales begin to return to normal.</p>
<p>Even then, he doesn’t wake, and the colour doesn’t return to his face. He looks like a porcelain doll, floating with his face just below the surface.</p>
<p>Donghyuck curls up against the side of the bath and refuses to move. He rests his chin on the edge and puts his hand in the water, fingers trailing through Yukhei’s long, seaweed infused hair that fans out around his head like a halo. Jaemin and Renjun eventually head back downstairs, claiming hunger, and while Jeno seems unwilling to go, he does so when Donghyuck gives him permission to.</p>
<p>Mark remains by his side, sitting by the end of Yukhei’s tail in a similar position to Donghyuck.</p>
<p>When the clock on Donghyuck’s phone reads 5pm, it’s been just under two hours since Yukhei was put in the bathtub. Donghyuck adds a little more salt to the water, as he has been doing periodically, but slumps further down when it draws no reaction from the mermaid.</p>
<p>“Donghyuck, I don’t think this is helping,” Mark says reluctantly. He flinches when Donghyuck glares.</p>
<p>“We can’t take him out of the water,” Donghyuck snaps. “He needs it to breathe.”</p>
<p>Mark breathes heavily through his nose. “Actually, he doesn’t. For a little while, at least. Mermaids have really big lungs, so we hold a lot more oxygen in them than humans.” Then, speaking more gently, he adds: “You’ve figured out what he needs as well, haven’t you?”</p>
<p>Donghyuck nods once, closing his eyes. “The ocean.”</p>
<p>Mark hums in assent. “It’ll be dangerous. We’ll need to act fast, but we need to try. You have to understand that if this,” Mark gestures to the bath, “was gonna work, it would have by now. If we have any chance of waking him up we need to get him in the actual sea.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck stares mournfully at the packet of salt propped up against the washstand, but he knows Mark’s right.</p>
<p>“How are we going to get him there?” He asks after Mark hollered for the others. They tumble in, visibly deflating when they spot no improvement in Yukhei.</p>
<p>Mark quickly fills them in before answering Donghyuck’s question. “We’ll have to take Jaemin’s car. It feels mean to chuck him in the boot like this, so if we roll the front seat down all the way we’ll be able to lie him on it. Jaemin can drive, Donghyuck and I will sit in the backseat. Jeno, Renjun, you won’t mind following, right? We’ll just go to Donghyuck’s place ‘cause it’s safest.”</p>
<p>Jeno and Renjun nod. “We’ll take my bike,” Jeno affirms.</p>
<p>“We’ll need to keep him as damp as possible, though,” Mark muses. “Whilst we can breathe regular air through our gills for a bit, the scales need to be kept pretty damp or otherwise there is a chance they could begin to shed.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck’s face crumples; Jeno rests a supportive hand on his shoulder, massaging lightly. “I’ve got a big tarpaulin we could use,” Jeno suggests. “Lie it on the seat, then you can take buckets of water in the car and keep them wet that way.”</p>
<p>Mark and Donghyuck exchange a look. It’ll mean touching his scales in order to keep them coated in a layer of water safe enough for this situation, and they’d usually want to ask Yukhei for consent (Donghyuck has made an effort to avoid touching them until now to avoid a repeat of before) but they make a silent agreement that right now it’s the least of their worries.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Mark agrees. “Jaem and I are the strongest here, so we’ll be best to take Lucas out. Donghyuck and Jeno will get the water, so Renjun, are you alright to set the car up?”</p>
<p>Renjun salutes; Jeno instructs him on where the tarpaulin is kept and Jaemin hands him the car keys, and then they all get to work.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Driving to Donghyuck’s house and getting Yukhei out of the car is all a blur. The tension is palpable: no words are exchanged as Jaemin nudges the car just over the speed limit and Donghyuck focuses on making sure Yukhei is as comfortable as possible. </p>
<p>Just as they’re pulling up by the stairs to the beach—Donghyuck unlocked the gate at the side of the drive that allows vehicles further onto the property—Yukhei’s tail starts thrashing around again. Jaemin manages to put the handbrake on before it gets too hectic, but Donghyuck doesn’t move fast enough and Yukhei’s tail catches him on the underside of his chin. He spills out of the car, clutching his face.</p>
<p>“Hyuck! Are you alright?” Jeno skids his motorbike to a halt just behind them and dashes over to Donghyuck as soon as he’s taken his helmet off. Renjun heads straight for the car where Mark and Jaemin are doing their best to get Yukhei out safely through the passenger door.</p>
<p>Although probably not the most caring way to do it, they decide in the end it will be quickest and easiest to get Yukhei into the water by having Jaemin throw him over his shoulder.</p>
<p>As a last minute move of respect, Mark wraps a towel around Yukhei’s torso so Jaemin won’t come into contact with any of his scales, and then takes hold of Yukhei’s angry tail as they hurry towards the ocean.</p>
<p>“I think it’ll be best to completely submerge him,” Mark says as they wade out into the sea. When the water reaches their thighs, they all avert their eyes while Mark strips off and dips underneath, reemerging with a beautiful tail of his own. Jaemin eyes him with a smile that suggests he enjoys the sight a little too much; Mark kisses his cheek and then shoves him out of the way in favour of supporting Yukhei’s body. It’s to stop him sinking to the bottom, he explains to Donghyuck when he notices the way Donghyuck is trembling.</p>
<p>Like before, Yukhei’s tail had stopped moving almost instantly upon coming into contact with the sea. But also like before, nothing had happened after that. As dusk falls, Donghyuck hands his keys to Jeno, instructing him to take Renjun and Jaemin inside.</p>
<p>“Please, I don’t want you to all get sick out here,” he insists, even though his own teeth are chattering. </p>
<p>“Donghyuck…” Jeno starts, but Donghyuck gives him a look that tells him he won’t be going anywhere. Not until Yukhei wakes up.</p>
<p>“You know, this could take all night,” Mark says when they’re gone.</p>
<p>Donghyuck ignores him, tightening his hold on Yukhei’s hand instead as he casts his gaze out towards the horizon. The ocean is a millpond, a mirror reflecting the moon and the night sky above. Donghyuck uses the infinite space above to ground himself.</p>
<p>As his mind whirs, he focuses as much as he can on the repetitive sound of the waves lapping at the shore, trying to keep the louder, scarier thoughts at bay.</p>
<p>He barely even notices when Hendery and Dejun arrive, immediately swimming over to Mark and beginning to confer with each other in low voices. There isn’t much to update them with, anyway. The only change is that Yukhei’s scales have returned almost completely to normal, save for the colour.</p>
<p>Out here, under the stars, Donghyuck can’t tell how quickly time passes. It seems to simultaneously stand still and pass too quickly—every second that goes by is another that Yukhei’s eyes remain closed, and so it’s another second too much.</p>
<p>Donghyuck’s whole body is blue and completely numb when he at last feels his hand being squeezed. It’s the lightest pressure, but it immediately jerks Donghyuck back to life, straightening up his shaking form like a rod. “Xuxi?” He whispers, turning his attention to the mermaid.</p>
<p>Nothing.</p>
<p>Donghyuck’s heart clenches in his chest, holding onto all the hope he can muster. He grips Yukhei’s hand harder in return, waiting, hoping, needing.</p>
<p>Nothing.</p>
<p>Nothing, but then…</p>
<p>Yukhei’s body twitches. Mark is instantly at his side, taking Yukhei’s other hand in his. Dejun and Hendery stay out of the way, but they still hover, their own anxieties clear.</p>
<p>Yukhei’s body continues to stutter, as if he’s clicking his bones harshly back into place.</p>
<p>“Come on, Xuxi,” Donghyuck murmurs, his free hand clenching into a fist beneath the water.</p>
<p>It continues like this for a minute. Donghyuck feels himself getting more giddy and hopeful as it does, only to feel his heart plummet when Yukhei stills once more.</p>
<p>Mark looks over at him. “Donghyuck, I—”</p>
<p>Then as if someone flicks on a light switch, light begins to stream out of Yukhei’s tail. It comes without warning, and its abruptness is blinding. All four of them flinch away from the searing glow; Donghyuck blinks as spots interrupt his vision.</p>
<p>“What the <em>fuck</em>.” He hears someone hiss.</p>
<p>Gradually, the light begins to spread: it jumps from scale to scale until Yukhei’s entire body is swathed in the bright golden light. It pulses and moves like the Aurora Borealis, warmed by the reflection of the pink in Yukhei’s scales. It’s a magnificent, dominating presence in the middle of the bay.</p>
<p>Donghyuck stares at it in wordless awe. It looks like magic.</p>
<p>But just as instantaneously as it arrived, the light disappears. Darkness tumbles back in around them, greedily swallowing up the space left behind.</p>
<p>Donghyuck feels like a part of him has been dulled, too.</p>
<p>A long, stretched out second passes, with all four of them in stunned and confused silence. Then, almost indignantly, a familiar voice rings out.</p>
<p>“Why do you all look so sad? It’s like somebody died.”</p>
<p>Yukhei’s eyes are open and shining. His smile sparkles to match as he looks up at Donghyuck.</p>
<p>“Xuxi!” He shrieks. </p>
<p>Donghyuck’s body is cold and stiff, drained of energy as his inner generator strains to keep heat flowing through his veins, but now Yukhei is awake he feels <em>charged</em>, and leaps on his boyfriend, uncaring.</p>
<p>“<em>Xuxi,</em>” Donghyuck whispers into his neck, hand tangled in Yukhei’s hair as he clutches the back of his head gently.</p>
<p>Yukhei giggles in delight, his arm automatically coming up to cradle Donghyuck’s waist and stable the both of them. “Hey, sunflower.”</p>
<p>Behind them, the other three mermaids slink away, giving the couple their space.</p>
<p>Uncaring, Donghyuck wraps his legs around Yukhei’s waist, straddling the part where his torso becomes tail. “You’re okay,” Donghyuck sobs. “Yukhei. You’re okay. Oh my God, I was terrified.” He’s crying, ugly gulping suffocating tears, but there’s overwhelming happiness mixed in there too. His teary smile is genuine, even if he’s shivering and soaked through and tired and using the heel of his hand to wipe away a stray trail of snot.</p>
<p>Yukhei feels his heart seize. Donghyuck was this worried… for him?</p>
<p>Keeping one hand securely on Donghyuck’s back, he uses the other to wipe the tears from Donghyuck’s cheeks.</p>
<p>“I’m okay, flower. I’m okay.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck hiccups, trying to calm his erratic breathing. He falls forward slightly and rests their foreheads together.</p>
<p>“I thought you were going to die. You just fell like that, and we couldn’t wake you up, and I—I didn’t want to lose you again,” Donghyuck whispers.</p>
<p>“I’m not going anywhere, Donghyuck,” Yukhei says seriously. “I promise.”</p>
<p>“Promise?” Donghyuck asks, staring deep into Yukhei’s eyes.</p>
<p>Yukhei gives him a tiny nod. “I promise.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck collapses against him. “I love you,” he mumbles into Yukhei’s skin.</p>
<p>“I love you too.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They stayed cuddled against each other in the still water for too long, but they still ended up bickering about their eventual exit from the sea. Donghyuck was adamant that Yukhei should stay there tonight to recharge, but Yukhei was having none of it, which is why they now find themselves jogging through the garden to reach the warmth of the house.</p>
<p>Yukhei is in his human form again, completely naked but feeling incredible, and Donghyuck is clinging to his back.</p>
<p>They slide the glass door at the back of the house open—Yukhei comments about how it <em>still</em> blows his mind that it isn’t just a window, which makes Donghyuck snort—and find their friends sprawled out across the sofas. Fast asleep, thank God; Jeno and Renjun in a pile on one sofa, and then Jaemin is curled up with Mark on the other.</p>
<p>Donghyuck is cooing at the sight of them wrapped up in each other when Mark’s eyes snap open, looking right at them.</p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>“You’re awake,” Yukhei says, startled.</p>
<p>Mark huffs. “I sure wish I wasn’t.” He closes his eyes again. “Please leave, so I can forget I ever saw that.”</p>
<p>Yukhei snickers but obeys. He carries Donghyuck up the stairs and straight to the bathroom, gently settling him on the closed toilet seat. “Wait here.”</p>
<p>He goes into the bedroom, slipping on a pair of pyjama trousers—he doesn’t mind being naked, and he’s pretty sure Donghyuck has seen it enough to not mind either, but he does it on principle nonetheless—before grabbing some dry and warm clothes for Donghyuck. </p>
<p>With his help, Donghyuck is soon towelled dry and wrapped up in the duvet. He’s half asleep already, smacking his lips and shivering still, so slipping away to take care of the sodden clothes is easy.</p>
<p>Yukhei jumps as someone raps on the bathroom door as he’s hanging the t-shirt over the bath. He relaxes when he sees Mark leaning against the door frame, arms folded and smiling easily.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Mark greets him softly.</p>
<p>Yukhei reaches out and ruffles Mark’s hair. “You got away from your octopus boyfriend, I see.”</p>
<p>Mark blushes, ducking his head to hide his smile. “He’s just affectionate,” he defends. “Had to come and check on you. You sure you’re feeling okay?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Yukhei goes back to wringing out Donghyuck’s clothes. “I mean, it was weird, but I feel absolutely fine now.”</p>
<p>Mark raises his eyebrows. “It was wild. I did not expect you to be out for so long, especially after we got you in the sea.”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Yukhei laughs. “I shouldn’t have left it so long.”</p>
<p>“Whaddya mean?”</p>
<p>“I’d been feeling off for a few days before it happened,” Yukhei confesses. “I knew something was wrong. My energy was sapped pretty much all the time. I kept meaning to go for a proper swim, but then I’d start something else, and I just kept putting off. Donghyuck was so excited for Christmas, I didn’t want to leave that for a second.”</p>
<p>Mark sighs. “You know your safety and health is more important to him, right?”</p>
<p>“Of course I do! I just didn’t realise that it would come to this.”</p>
<p>Mark reaches over for one of Donghyuck’s socks, deciding to give Yukhei a hand. “You’re gonna be more careful now, right?”</p>
<p>Yukhei hums non-committedly.</p>
<p>Annoyed, Mark drops the sock back in the bath and tugs on Yukhei’s arm, forcing the mermaid to turn and look at him.</p>
<p>“You need to take this seriously, Lucas! This isn’t a fucking joke. If you’re gonna do this human thing long-term, you can’t treat it lightly.” Mark keeps his voice low, but he can feel the anger seeping into it. “I don’t care if you think you’re strong enough to push yourself to the limit. I don’t care about whatever reason you’re gonna give for not taking care of yourself properly. This is your <em>life,</em> Lucas, you can’t play around with it like you’re invincible. You’re not.”</p>
<p>Yukhei blinks as Mark pauses his outburst, breathing heavily. “Woah.”</p>
<p>“Baths aren’t a substitute for the sea for you, just like those awful milkshakes Jaem loves so much are not a substitute for water from a tap for him. You need it to live, whether you like it or not. And I’m pretty sure we all want you alive and well.” Mark pauses again. “<em>I</em> want you alive and well,” he adds, quieter.</p>
<p>Yukhei softens, then reaches out and takes Mark into his arms. He can feel Mark trembling slightly. “I’m sorry,” he mutters. “I’m sorry for not taking this seriously. I’m gonna do better, Markie, I promise. I won’t let this happen again.”</p>
<p>“You better not,” Mark mumbles, and Yukhei squeezes him tighter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When they woke on Christmas morning, he’d exchanged gifts with Donghyuck in bed (an oyster containing a real pearl from Yukhei to Donghyuck, and some novelty underwear from Donghyuck to Yukhei) and followed it with long, lazy kisses. It was one of the best, slowest mornings of Yukhei’s life.</p>
<p>They’d then talked properly for an hour about the events of the previous day. Donghyuck had reiterated almost exactly what Mark had drilled into him in the bathroom the night before, and made Yukhei feel horrendously bad about putting his boyfriend through all that before they’d made a solid plan to avoid it ever happening again.</p>
<p>Weekly trips to the beach, they decided, no matter the weather. If Yukhei needed an extra pick-me-up during the week, Donghyuck conceded that a bath would suffice, but on the condition that Yukhei promised he would never hide it if he was feeling that bone-deep weariness again.</p>
<p>So, that’s how it works now.</p>
<p>It quickly became a Sunday thing: Donghyuck claimed Sunday afternoons as theirs and theirs alone. They spend them with Donghyuck sitting on the sand wrapped in fifty layers of clothing and Yukhei splashing about in the water happily.</p>
<p>Somehow, it’s early January already, and it’s Sunday. Yukhei has just finished his swim and has rejoined Donghyuck. They’re huddled together like penguins, with a blanket wrapped snugly around their backs. This January is a particularly cold one, much to Yukhei’s joy—it means he has more excuses to cuddle his soft boyfriend.</p>
<p>Donghyuck has his head leaned on Yukhei’s shoulder, and is humming a tune that Yukhei distantly recognises as an ABBA song that he can’t recall the title of. The wind whips up around them, turning their noses and ears red, and the waves crash onto the beach just below their feet. Among the grey, swirling clouds above, there’s a hint of rain in the air, petrichor filtering through the smell of the saltwater to cloud Yukhei’s mind.</p>
<p>It’s bleak, but it’s perfect.</p>
<p>“Xuxi?” Donghyuck says.</p>
<p>“Yes, my love?” Yukhei replies, leaning his cheek on the crown of Donghyuck’s head momentarily.</p>
<p>“I’m just thinking.”</p>
<p>When Donghyuck doesn’t continue right away, Yukhei sits up slightly. “Oh? About what?”</p>
<p>“My Youtube channel. I haven’t uploaded in a while, and I think I’d like to film another cover.”</p>
<p>Yukhei feels warm as he sees Donghyuck begin to get excited. “Do you have any ideas for what you’re gonna sing?”</p>
<p>“Well, I had an idea… maybe… would you like to film a duet with me?” Donghyuck asks, his hands curled into tiny fists as he turns to look at Yukhei, eyes sparkling with hope.</p>
<p>Yukhei’s unease must show on his face, because Donghyuck pouts. “We can hide your scales with make-up, or you don’t even have to be in the video if you don’t want to. I just think that our voices go well together, and I would love to record with you.”</p>
<p>When they have the house to themselves, they often find themselves singing together; sometimes it’s off-hand, murmured lyrics as they make dinner or do chores, but other times it’s with ABBA playing through the speakers on a volume so loud that the house shakes. After a while, once Yukhei’s good memory got the hang of all the lyrics, they were able to create a pretty formidable harmony. The ultimate compliment: Donghyuck’s heaven-blessed voice intertwined with Yukhei’s siren song.</p>
<p>And although Yukhei is nervous about appearing on camera, he won’t deny that they sound wonderful together. Besides, Donghyuck seems so excited by the prospect, Yukhei can’t find it within himself to say no.</p>
<p>The way Donghyuck beams at him and kisses his cheek when he agrees makes it instantly worth it. As soon as he agrees, Donghyuck takes him by the hand and yanks them upright, babbling about song choices as he drags Yukhei back to the house.</p>
<p>“Well, obviously it has to be an ABBA song,” Yukhei says as Donghyuck sits down at his desk, swivelling his chair round to open his laptop.</p>
<p>“Of course.” Donghyuck laughs. Yukhei’s loud and unrelenting adoration of ABBA is a well known fact amongst their friend group, and is often the source of many lighthearted jabs at Yukhei whenever it comes up. “But what song?”</p>
<p>“Hmm.” Yukhei scrolls through the library of ABBA songs in his head. “Something slow would be nice. Like… <em>Slipping Through My Fingers</em>?”</p>
<p>“Eh.’</p>
<p>“Or…” Yukhei continues to think, scratching at his chin.</p>
<p>Donghyuck gets there first. “What about <em>Andante, Andante</em>?” He suggests.</p>
<p>Yukhei nods immediately, his face lighting up. “Yes. I love that one.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck’s fingers go to town on the keyboard, furiously searching for an instrumental version on Youtube. “I know you do,” he says fondly.</p>
<p>Both of them already have the lyrics down, which means they can move straight on to practising. By the time the evening rolls around, Donghyuck seems to be satisfied with the way they sound, so the next day they head out to Yuta’s shop to get a second opinion and make some final tweaks.</p>
<p>The bell above the door jingles as Donghyuck pushes it open, Yukhei following him in. At the sound of them entering, Yuta’s head shoots up over the top of one of the CD stands, and he grins when he sees who it is.</p>
<p>Yukhei knows immediately it’s Yuta because of all the sparkly pins tucked into his long hair, the piercing in his eyebrow and the way he bounds over to them, barrelling into Donghyuck for a hug.</p>
<p>Donghyuck laughs and pats his back. “Hey, Yuta.”</p>
<p>“You haven’t come here in so long, Hyuckie.” Yuta pouts. “I’ve missed you.”</p>
<p>“It hasn’t been that long,” Donghyuck says, but even he sounds unsure of that.</p>
<p>“Nope. Too long.” Yuta clicks his tongue. Then, he seems to notice Yukhei lingering behind Donghyuck, and his eyes widen. “Wow,” he says with an appreciative smile, looking Yukhei up and down. “And who is this tall glass of water?”</p>
<p>Donghyuck grabs Yukhei’s hand and mimes kicking Yuta in the leg. “Mine, so back off, bitch,” he says. Yukhei preens at the word <em>mine</em>, and tightens his ponytail in an effort to not make a fool of himself. “Yuta, meet my boyfriend Yukhei; Yukhei, meet long time pain in my ass Yuta, who unfortunately owns the only music shop in town.”</p>
<p>They exchange polite greetings after Yuta elbows Donghyuck in the side. “You love me.”</p>
<p>“Do not.”</p>
<p>“Do too.”</p>
<p>“Do <em>not</em>.”</p>
<p>As they bicker, Yukhei lets his eyes wander. He glances around the small shop in awe, taking in the racks and racks of assorted CDs, the wall of vinyls to the side and the piles of instruments hung at the back. While Donghyuck has mentioned off-hand that he plays the piano fluently, he’s also admitted to being a dab-hand at a few other instruments as well because of hours spent playing around in here with Yuta. Looking at the many guitars displayed on the far wall, the drum kit tucked in one corner, the violin and the cello and the trumpets—and then behind the counter, a beautiful flute and what Donghyuck will later tell Yukhei is a Chinese xiao, painted a delicate light blue colour—Yukhei briefly wonders about the true extent of Donghyuck’s talents.</p>
<p>He quickly squashes the wave of frustration that rises up in him at the fact that Donghyuck has had to put all this passion on the back pedal just to appease his brother.</p>
<p>Yukhei tunes back into the conversation just as Yuta says “I suppose you’re here for Mr Moon, aren’t you?”</p>
<p>“Yep!” Donghyuck says, popping the ‘p’ sound.</p>
<p>Yuta sniffs, his pout back in full force, but he calls for this Mr Moon person anyway. “<em>Taeil!</em>” he hollers. “Your protégé is here!”</p>
<p>There’s no reply, but soon enough a man pokes his head round a door that Yukhei didn’t notice earlier. At the sight of Donghyuck, Taeil mirrors Yuta’s earlier greeting and hurries over for a hug. He ruffles Donghyuck’s hair and squeezes his shoulders.</p>
<p>“It’s good to see you, Donghyuck,” Taeil greets him warmly. “And I suppose this is Yukhei?” He then asks, turning to Yukhei and shaking his hand with an open, friendly smile. Yukhei instantly takes a liking to him. He seems to be the complete opposite of Yuta: his neat undercut is a soft, natural brown colour while Yuta’s is bleached white and almost as long as Yukhei’s—although whereas Yukhei ties his up in a ponytail, Yuta lets his flow free. Taeil’s outfit is also a lot more sedate and less obnoxiously rocker inspired, but as Yukhei exchanges pleasantries with him he catches sight of about a billion piercings on each ear and the beginnings of a tattoo peeking out from under his collar.</p>
<p>Perhaps the pair are not so different after all.</p>
<p>Behind them, Yuta squawks. “How come Taeil knew and I didn’t?!”</p>
<p>“Because Taeil wouldn’t have kicked my door down and interrogated him at the first opportunity, duh,” Donghyuck shoots back. They dissolve into a stupid back and forth again, and Taeil just watches them, arms folded and shaking his head with a fond smile.</p>
<p>“You’d never believe that Yuta is five years older, would you?” Taeil says.</p>
<p>It takes Yukhei a second to realise that Taeil is talking to him. “Huh? Oh, no. Definitely not.”</p>
<p>“I think Donghyuck brings out the worst in him.” Taeil chuckles. “He’s lucky he’s cute.”</p>
<p>Yukhei blinks. “He’s… you’re—?”</p>
<p>Taeil nods. “Yeah, we’re dating.” His expression turns dreamy. “He can be a gremlin, but I love him regardless.”</p>
<p>“I’d say it’s the same for me with Hyuck, but…” Yukhei pulls a face. “Well. Let’s just say we’re well matched.”</p>
<p>Taeil laughs loudly. “I’m glad. He looks much, much happier and healthier than the last time I saw him. I guess I have you to thank for that.” He turns to Yukhei, speaking sincerely. “Thank you. For being someone he can lean on.”</p>
<p>Yukhei swallows. It’s one thing to try to be that person for Donghyuck, but to know that his presence in Donghyuck’s life has caused such obvious, positive change is something that breaks his heart and fills it to the brim at the same time.</p>
<p>“I just want him to shine,” Yukhei says. </p>
<p>Taeil nods, eyes sparkling. “With you, I can tell he will. He already is.”</p>
<p>At that, they both glance at Donghyuck, who has his head thrown back in laughter, hands clutching at his stomach. Absolute happiness pours out of every inch of his skin, and Yukhei has never so badly wanted to kiss him more than he does in this moment.</p>
<p>But that’s not what they’re here for. When both Yuta and Donghyuck have managed to stop giggling with each other, Taeil leads them both into the back room he emerged from earlier.</p>
<p>It’s a pretty big room: there’s a sofa tucked in one corner and the rest of the walls are lined with desks covered in papers.</p>
<p>To Yukhei’s surprise, there also appears to be a small recording booth.</p>
<p>“Jeez, it’s like something exploded in here,” Donghyuck comments as he rifles through some of the stacks of paper.</p>
<p>Taeil laughs, heading to the recording booth to adjust the mic. “Yeah, sorry about that. Got some pretty big projects coming up and I’m a bit stressed.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck hums. “I appreciate you making time for us to come by then.”</p>
<p>When he comes back out of the booth, Taeil just waves him off as he plops down into the desk chair in front of the recording desk. “I’ll always make time for you, Hyuck, you know that.”</p>
<p>Yukhei has never seen anything like all the equipment crammed into this space. Donghyuck’s mini recording setup in his room at home is put to shame in the face of all this. He watches in awe as Taeil fiddles with some of the dials on the huge console in front of him, seeming to know what each switch and slider does from memory.</p>
<p>Yukhei shakes his head. He could never. He wonders what kind of music Taeil makes: Taeil might seem like a mellow man, but he clearly has a lot of musical knowledge, so Yukhei guesses his music will be nothing other than complex and brilliant.</p>
<p>“Shall we get this show on the road then?” Taeil says.</p>
<p>Donghyuck nods and grabs Yukhei’s hand to lead him into the booth. When they’re in there, they slip headphones on, and Donghyuck fiddles with the mic.</p>
<p>“Do we…” Yukhei feels like an idiot. “Do we just sing?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. We do it like we practiced, and Taeil will help us adjust things and make it sound as good as possible,” Donghyuck explains.</p>
<p>“Nice.”</p>
<p>Taeil gives them a thumbs up through the glass. “Alright, all set. Show me what you’ve got.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They wrapped up with Taeil pretty quickly—he  had been nothing but complimentary, with only a few tidbits of advice to give. Donghyuck seemed satisfied too, so that meant Yukhei felt content with how it went.</p>
<p>The day after they practised under Taeil’s talented eye, they sat down to record it. Donghyuck explains that while he likes to take advantage of Taeil’s knowledge, he actually prefers to put it together himself.</p>
<p>In contrast to the time spent at Yuta’s shop, this took ages. They recorded the sound a few times until Donghyuck deemed it perfect, and then they had to set up the camera and film the actual video itself. This part made Yukhei feel jittery—Donghyuck murmured soothing words to him as he caked foundation over Yukhei’s scales, but as soon as he was sat in front of the camera he felt himself become a bundle of nerves all over again.</p>
<p>So, naturally, it took a few takes. But they got it.</p>
<p>Donghyuck spent an entire day religiously editing the video. He didn’t move from the sofa where he sat hunched over, laptop balanced on his knees, until he had finished. </p>
<p>That brings them to today. With the video ready, they both count down from three, and slam their fingers on the upload button together.</p>
<p>After an impatient hour of waiting for the video to post, Donghyuck slams his laptop shut. “And now we don’t look,” he announces. Yukhei simply shrugs in indifference: if Donghyuck doesn’t want to look, then there’s no point in doing so. Yukhei has got what he wanted from it, anyway. He just wanted to sing with his boyfriend.</p>
<p>And if Donghyuck insists that it’s no big deal, there’s no need to check their video yet, then Yukhei isn’t going to push it.</p>
<p>However, he couldn’t have been more wrong.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>if anyone thought I would let anything seriously bad happen to yukhei you were sorely mistaken... also, say hello to third arc of this story: the YouTube channel! and <strike>more</strike> less importantly, Yukhei's life as a full time abba stan. I wrote like 90% of this story while listening to abba, so I'm foisting it upon all of you as well.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. nine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yukhei and Donghyuck follow their dreams together.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Johnny is sitting in his office above the garage when he first hears about it.</p>
<p>It’s nearing 11pm, but he’s doing his nightly routine of scrolling through Twitter and updating all his socials. At this point, he’s not even really reading any of the tweets on his timeline properly, he’s just keeping going till he gets to the bottom and can feel better about logging off for the night.</p>
<p>Then, an article that has been retweeted onto his feed catches his eye. Johnny sits up straight, rubbing his eyes and blinking at the screen.</p>
<p>No, he definitely read that right. That’s his little brother’s name in the headline.</p>
<p>Without thinking, he opens the article, and he feels his heart crawl up his throat as he begins to read.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Up and coming author Donghyuck Suh seems to be breaking away from the family tradition. Suh, 25, who is the brother of bestselling author Johnny Suh, has recently begun a rise to fame on a new platform. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Following his most recent video, Suh’s Youtube channel, titled ‘HAECHAN’, has hit 500,000 subscribers, an apparent increase of almost 450,000 in a week. This is almost unheard of, especially considering the channel isn’t promoted on any of his official social media accounts, and appears to only be a personal archive of song covers. However, it’s been widely suggested that the viral nature of his latest upload is partly thanks to it being a duet: Suh’s first collaboration is with a close friend, Yukhei (surname unknown) and fans have penned their voices as being heavenly… </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Johnny sits back in his chair, stopping reading the article barely halfway through. He’s always had his suspicions that Donghyuck had continued with his Youtube channel despite Johnny’s gentle warnings, but he’d been comforted by the fact that it would never gain that much attention.</p>
<p>Johnny cringes at the harsh thought, but he’s resolute in his opinion. Now with the knowledge that Donghyuck is in the midst of a steady rise to Youtube fame, Johnny feels panic grip him by the neck, lift him off the ground and start to squeeze. It never gets less overwhelming, the fear he feels on his brother’s behalf.</p>
<p>If only he could make Donghyuck understand.</p>
<p>He’s standing up and jogging down the stairs to exit his office before he knows it. Caught up in his thoughts, Johnny feels trapped by the need to talk to Donghyuck, to selfishly ask him to quit while he’s ahead.</p>
<p>He bursts in through the front door, teeth clenched. As he passes the kitchen, Johnny is suddenly taken back to their rows and Donghyuck telling him to back off. The thought seems to swipe his feet out from under him and Johnny sways slightly, feeling unstable.</p>
<p>He hates this.</p>
<p>He hates arguing with himself. With his brother, whom he loves more than anyone else in the world. But every time he tries to reason with himself he is swarmed with the memories of his own life crumbling around him as his dream was snatched from his hands, and the feeling is still so suffocating it immediately kills any desire to let Donghyuck take such a risky path of his own.</p>
<p>Johnny feels it now, too, as he makes his way up to Donghyuck’s room. His fists are clenched, the words ‘breaking away’ and ‘rise to fame’ branded hotly on the inside of his eyelids.</p>
<p>He can’t help but feel slightly annoyed at the fact that it’s obviously Yukhei who is encouraging Donghyuck to pursue this, but at the same time, he wonders if it’s just jealousy: a part of Johnny that wants to be the one that can wholeheartedly support Donghyuck. After all, it’s not that he thinks Donghyuck is incapable—he’s heard him sing, and anyone would be crazy to say that he doesn’t have skill and potential to boot.</p>
<p>But Johnny was told he had immeasurable talent too, and still… </p>
<p>Johnny stops in front of Donghyuck’s door, hand lingering over the handle. Inside, he can hear them singing to each other. Through the laughter he makes the song out as <em>We Are The Champions</em>, which seems to take a sudden swerve into a vocal rendition of <em>Bohemian Rhapsody</em>’s guitar solo.</p>
<p>Johnny finds his lips quirking up into a smile. Despite the way he envies Yukhei’s apparent absolute faith in singing as a career, he doesn’t deny that Yukhei has brought out the best in his brother.</p>
<p>That sudden thought is what makes him hesitate.</p>
<p>At the same time, the singing stops, and there’s a pause before Donghyuck speaks again.</p>
<p>“I’m so worried about how Johnny will react if he finds out, Xuxi.” Donghyuck’s voice is quiet, pained.</p>
<p>Johnny feels like he’s been slapped across the face.</p>
<p>
  <em>Is that… is that how he thinks of me?</em>
</p>
<p>It’s one thing to fear the knowledge that his brother has begun to close himself off from Johnny entirely, but it’s another thing to hear confirmation come from Donghyuck’s mouth itself.</p>
<p>It hurts more than Johnny thought it would.</p>
<p>Johnny isn’t stupid—he knows that their relationship is tense and they don’t see eye to eye. That’s probably putting it lightly, but Johnny still knows it. But to hear Donghyuck confess that and sound so utterly defeated is like a wake up call.</p>
<p>Johnny can deal with them disagreeing—he’ll deal with it if it means Donghyuck is safe—but he can’t live with his brother literally being afraid to even tell him about things.</p>
<p>	Hands shaking, Johnny steps away from the bedroom door and turns back towards the stairs. A stray tear escapes and runs down his cheek.</p>
<p>	As he makes his way back through the house and across the drive to his office above the garage, he feels like a zombie. Two thoughts circles round in his mind, driving this sudden wave of self-anger straight home like slamming a door.</p>
<p>	<em>How did it get this bad? How could I let it go this far?</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After the insane success of their first cover—seriously, Yukhei lies awake sometimes, giddy just from thinking about it—he and Donghyuck decide to post a few more covers over the coming weeks. With all this time spent in front of the camera, Yukhei gradually begins to relax, and begins to find himself actually enjoying the process. It becomes less about just giving Donghyuck what he wants and more about a shared enjoyment.</p>
<p>In the quiet moments, Yukhei starts to realise that he’s dreaming of singing, too.</p>
<p>Before, he’d never really considered his voice as anything to show off about. It was pretty average in comparison to the other mermaids. Dejun’s was always leaps and bounds ahead of his, almost on the level of a real siren, and even Mark could hit better notes than him on a good day, so Yukhei had never really paid attention to his own skill.</p>
<p>But as he spends more time singing with Donghyuck and taking the occasional lesson with Taeil, Yukhei can feel how powerful his voice is and could be. </p>
<p>However, it’s the first time he’s considered his future in the human world rather than just taking each day as it comes, and it scares him. It takes a few more days of heavy consideration before he’s confident enough in his decision to bring it up.</p>
<p>Donghyuck is tucked up against his side in bed, head on Yukhei’s shoulder as Yukhei curls an arm around him. Their legs are tangled together under the sheets. He’s sleepy, Yukhei can tell from the way he smacks his lips together slightly and nuzzles into the shirt Yukhei’s wearing, but if he doesn’t say this now he might burst.</p>
<p>“Hey, sunflower…” he starts, caressing his fingers up Donghyuck’s side. Donghyuck hums. “About the singing thing…”</p>
<p>Donghyuck’s eyes fly open and he tilts his head to look up at Yukhei. “You don’t wanna do it anymore?”</p>
<p>“No, no!” Yukhei shakes his head immediately. That’s the last thing he wants. “I want the opposite. I want to do it properly, like seriously, with you.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck’s answering smile is beautiful in its radiance. Yukhei runs a hand through Donghyuck’s curls as his boyfriend props himself up on one hand, leaning in to kiss Yukhei slowly.</p>
<p>“I would love nothing more.” Donghyuck murmurs against Yukhei’s chin before kissing his bottom lip.</p>
<p>“You sure?” Yukhei replies. He wants to be totally sure: Donghyuck has always seemed to be unwilling to join a band of any sort, so Yukhei had assumed that it meant he was fixed on being a solo artist. So he needs to hear Donghyuck tell him he is completely, whole-heartedly up for it.</p>
<p>Donghyuck sits up properly this time, his left leg slung forwards over Yukhei’s stomach as he looks down at Yukhei. “I am so very sure, Xuxi,” Donghyuck confirms, reaching out to flatten some stray bits of Yukhei’s hair. “I love singing with you. I want to keep doing it for as long as I can.”</p>
<p>“Yay,” Yukhei says, though its excitement is muffled as, without warning, Donghyuck leans in to capture his lips once again. His eyes flutter closed and he slips his hand up to rest on Donghyuck’s nape, pulling him closer. Donghyuck is so soft, so real, so grounding; he surrounds Yukhei with his warmth and the faint scent of his fruity shampoo.</p>
<p>Yukhei curls his fingers further into Donghyuck’s hair, parts his lips when Donghyuck requests, and loses himself in the wonderful reality of it all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The name they eventually decide on for their duo is Iridescence. It’s mid February by now, the beginning of spring starting to come over the horizon in the form of occasional torrential rain showers and the first blooms in the garden.</p>
<p>Yukhei is standing by the glass doors at the back of the house one evening, looking out across the expanse of the garden as the rain thrashes against the grass when Donghyuck thinks of it.</p>
<p>“Iridescence,” Donghyuck says out of nowhere.</p>
<p>Yukhei turns to look at him; Donghyuck is tucked into the corner of the sofa, drowning in a huge hoodie with flushed cheeks and unbrushed hair. His eyes are alight though, glinting with his epiphany.</p>
<p>“Hm?”</p>
<p>“Our name. Iridescence.” Donghyuck smacks the arm of the sofa in excitement. “Oh my God, it’s perfect.”</p>
<p>“What’s it mean?” Yukhei asks, puzzled.</p>
<p>“To me, you are iridescent,” Donghyuck begins slowly. “It’s physical: it’s in your scales, your smile, your skin, your hair that is so dark it turns blue in the sun. But it’s more than that. Your most brilliant iridescence comes from within. It shines out of your very core and it’s blinding.” Donghyuck bites his lip, almost shy. “You can turn a song into a symphony. You are joy. Your iridescence inspires me, it makes me want to be better. It brings out my own brightness. Together, I think we are iridescent. Beautiful.”</p>
<p>Not used to Donghyuck being so good with words out loud or even saying so much at once, Yukhei’s brain suddenly fills with white noise. He leaps on his boyfriend, smothering him in butterfly kisses. Donghyuck shrieks, but doesn’t push him away, only tightens his fingers in the material of Yukhei’s sweater. He’s wearing the one Jeno gave him for Christmas, and it’s ridiculously soft to the touch. </p>
<p>“I’m so in love with you,” Yukhei says in between kisses.</p>
<p>Donghyuck stills, wondering when he’ll get used to hearing those words, but then he lets them soak in and basks in them. “I love you too.”</p>
<p>With one last kiss to the tip of Donghyuck’s nose, Yukhei flops onto the sofa next to him. “So Iridescence then? I like it.”</p>
<p>“You do? Nice,” Donghyuck says. He reaches down to pick up his laptop from the floor. It opens to their Youtube channel, which has been doing steadily better and better ever since they posted their first cover together. Every time they open the channel, the subscriber count has steadily ticked up another hundred people. It blows Yukhei’s mind. He can’t quite get his head around the fact that <em>that many</em> people enjoy listening to their voices.</p>
<p>Donghyuck squeezes Yukhei’s thigh in disbelief as they switch tabs and check the full count now. “Holy shit,” Donghyuck breathes. “We’re so close to one million. We might even hit it tonight.”</p>
<p>Yukhei doesn’t know what to say, his eyes glued to the counter that is constantly moving up and down, losing three for every five they gain. He can’t quite fathom that this is real time: he’s watching real people around the world discover them and decide that they like what they hear.</p>
<p>“This is crazy,” Yukhei whispers. He leans his head on Donghyuck’s shoulder as he continues to stare. “Hey, what should we do if we do hit one million?”</p>
<p>Donghyuck rests his cheek on the top of Yukhei’s head and hums as he thinks. Eventually, he snorts to himself. “I’ve got this radical idea,” he says seriously. “I think… I think we should sing.”</p>
<p>Yukhei exhales, amused. “Wow, sunflower. Your <em>mind</em>. You never cease to amaze me with your crazy, out of the box thinking.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck thumps him on the side, laughing. “I know right? Like the extent of my imagination is just insane.”</p>
<p>As they giggle to each other, Yukhei curls further into Donghyuck’s side until his cheek is resting on Donghyuck’s chest and his arm is resting across his stomach. The only thing he curses about this human body is how gangly it is—he’s too big to properly fit in Donghyuck’s lap. However, luckily for him, he’s found that Donghyuck doesn’t mind when he tries to fit there anyway, and so he takes advantage of it with embarrassing regularity. Already used to Yukhei’s cuddles though, Donghyuck’s hand that isn’t still holding the laptop just comes up to rest on Yukhei’s head. He begins to scratch his scalp tenderly, threading his fingers through the long strands of hair.</p>
<p>“For real, though.” Donghyuck steers the conversation back on track. “I think if we didn’t, it would be weird. But I think we could rope our friends into helping out.”</p>
<p>Yukhei scrunches his nose. “No offence, but we’ve both heard Jeno sing.”</p>
<p>“Oof, that’s a low blow.” Donghyuck snorts. “Agreed though. He couldn’t hold a tune if his life depended on it. No, I mean like the filming. We could make a proper music video. Get your friends in on it too!”</p>
<p>Yukhei knows how excited they would be to join in. “I can see the comments now. ‘Holy shit, are those real mermaids?!’ That would be so funny.”</p>
<p>“Exactly, exactly!”</p>
<p>“I like it,” Yukhei says. “This sounds like a good idea. ‘Cause we’ve never filmed outside your house before, have we?”</p>
<p>Donghyuck shakes his head in agreement. “Nope. I’m excited! There’s so many places we could film… the beach, the diner… oh! But <em>what</em> should we sing? That’s the real question…” Donghyuck continues to ramble to himself, thinking out loud about all the crazy things they could sing or do. Sleepily, Yukhei listens to him, eyelids heavy as the rain thundering against the window and the rumbling of Donghyuck’s voice in his chest pulls him from consciousness. </p>
<p>Then, as he blinks, the number on the almost forgotten counter on the screen ticks over. Yukhei can’t stop the smile that spreads over his face as he reads the number over and over again.</p>
<p>One million.</p>
<p>Wow.</p>
<p>It seems Donghyuck hasn’t noticed yet—he’s still muttering on about various ideas for their celebratory video, not knowing that they’ve actually already hit the milestone itself.</p>
<p>Tilting his head so he can look up at his boyfriend, Yukhei reaches up to poke Donghyuck in the cheek. “Hey.”</p>
<p>“Hm? What?”</p>
<p>“Look.” Yukhei nods towards the screen, watching in anticipation as Donghyuck frowns and follows the gesture. He sees the exact moment it sinks in: Donghyuck’s eyes widen and his lips part in shock. Donghyuck mouths the number, not quite comprehending it.</p>
<p>“Is this… is this real?” he breathes.</p>
<p>Yukhei nods, sitting up so he’s level with Donghyuck. “Sure is.”</p>
<p>“I don’t believe it,” he whispers. He turns to look at Yukhei, eyes still huge with wonder. “One million. That’s so many fucking people.”</p>
<p>“And they’re all here for you. To support you and your dream,” Yukhei murmurs as he leans in to plant a kiss on the corner of Donghyuck’s growing smile.</p>
<p>“Us,” Donghyuck corrects as he kisses back, his hand cupping Yukhei’s jaw and thumb stroking his cheek. “<em>Our</em> dream.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And… cut!”</p>
<p>Jeno stops the recording and lowers the camera. Donghyuck is at his side in an instant, snatching the camera away to review the footage, but Yukhei just throws himself down on the sand with a sigh and a yawn.</p>
<p>It's been a few days since they hit the big one mil, nearing the end of February now, and the couple have dragged their friends out to aid in the making of the celebratory video. After a lot of thinking, they decided on something a bit more sappy—<em>I See The Light</em>, a lovely duet from Donghyuck’s favourite Disney movie, the lyrics of which Yukhei privately thinks represents them as a couple almost too well—and Taeil had whipped up a nice piano instrumental for them to sing to. They’d recorded it as soon as they’d got the hang of it, which was yesterday, and so today they’d moved on to filming.</p>
<p>To say Donghyuck has been excited about the whole process is a vast understatement. Under his strict direction, they’ve been filming for a few hours already, and it’s only 1pm.</p>
<p>“Tired, Lucas?” Mark calls from where he lounges in the shallows with Jaemin. Dejun and Hendery are also there, floating lazily as they absorb themselves in their own conversation.</p>
<p>Yukhei sits up again. “Nope.” He grins. “Never.”</p>
<p>“Whipped,” Mark mutters, shaking his head. But Yukhei still hears him and calls him hypocritical, launching them into childish bickering.</p>
<p>“Satisfied?” Jeno turns back to Donghyuck, whose face is screwed up in concentration. </p>
<p>He nods and hands the camera back. “Yeah, I think we’re done here.”</p>
<p>Behind them, Renjun and Jaemin heave a sigh of relief. They’d given up on helping after the first hour, leaving Jeno to take care of all the camerawork himself. Although, Renjun is still lending the occasional hand when requested because, quote unquote, he’s “actually a good friend”. Jaemin had just stuck his tongue out in retaliation and then dumped wet sand down Renjun’s shirt. To be honest, Yukhei is pretty sure that Jaemin is only here because Mark is.</p>
<p>“I was thinking we could get some shots in town next,” Jeno suggests.</p>
<p>“Ooh.” Donghyuck’s face lights up in interest. “That could be good. Shall we go then?”</p>
<p>Jeno beckons to the others, explaining that they’re going to head into town. They pack up the small amount of equipment they’ve brought, brushing off any stray grains of sand.</p>
<p>Yukhei looks over his shoulder. “Mark, you coming?” he calls. This is the first time he’s properly seen Mark since Christmas—for no other reason than it seemed like they’d blinked and more than a month had passed—so he wants to extend their time together as much as possible.</p>
<p>“Yeah, we can grab some clothes for you on the way past the house,” Donghyuck chips in. Jeno comes to stand beside him, slinging the camera bag over his shoulder.</p>
<p>“No need,” Jaemin says. He reaches for his backpack and unzips it, pulling out a hoodie and sweats. “I’ve got clothes for him already.” He turns to Mark, one eyebrow raised. “You coming, babe?”</p>
<p>Mark nods, and as if on cue everyone except Jaemin turns to give him some privacy as he switches to his legs. From a mile or so out, Dejun and Hendery catcall him, disappearing beneath the surface when Mark turns to flip them the bird. Jaemin just snorts and unceremoniously shoves the jumper over Mark’s head as he struggles with the trousers.</p>
<p>After he’s dressed, they make their way up past the house. The car is still gone, showing that Johnny hasn’t got back yet, so the only other option is to pile into Jaemin’s car. However, it’s a five seater, and for all his joking around Jaemin is a stickler for rules when it comes to the road.</p>
<p>“No seatbelt, no ride,” he says firmly as he slips into the driver’s seat.</p>
<p>Mark slips into the passenger seat with a smirk: boyfriend privileges.</p>
<p>Donghyuck heads into the garage and comes back out with his bike. Although he has a license, he’s not yet been able to afford his own car, and refused any offers Johnny gave to help him purchase one.</p>
<p>Hence, his main mode of transport: his bicycle.</p>
<p>“I’ll ride there,” he offers. “You guys go with Jaem.”</p>
<p>Jeno waves him off, snatching the bike and handing Donghyuck the camera bag in one swift movement. “You can’t film all sweaty. Let me go. I’m faster than you anyway.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck doesn’t argue and slips into the middle seat of Jaemin’s car as Jeno begins to pedal off down the drive. Yukhei clambers in after him; they belt up, and Jaemin pulls away.</p>
<p>While Jeno adjusts the camera to the different lighting of the town, they film a few random shots of Donghyuck and Yukhei together.</p>
<p>“Is this a coming out video as well?” Jaemin snickers, arms folded as he leans against Mark and watches them make googly eyes at each other.</p>
<p>Renjun snorts. “Have you seen their comment section? I’m pretty sure everyone already knows.”</p>
<p>When they take their next filming break, Yukhei swings one leg over the bike and settles himself on the saddle as Donghyuck dabs some more powder over the foundation on his scales.</p>
<p>“Woah,” Yukhei says, eyes wide as he begins to wobble. He grips the handlebars tighter and tries to dig the tips of his shoes further into the ground. “How do you stay upright on this thing?”</p>
<p>Renjun looks over. “You’ve never ridden a bike before?”</p>
<p>“Uh, no?”</p>
<p>“Holy shit.” Jaemin smirks. “This’ll be good,” he says under his breath. Louder, he adds: “You should give it a try!”</p>
<p>Mark slaps Jaemin’s shoulder for encouraging chaos, but his grin is equally shit-eating.</p>
<p>Yukhei shrugs. “It can’t be so hard, right?” He turns to Donghyuck, who is currently preoccupied with putting the brushes safely back in their pouch. “Right?”</p>
<p>“I mean—” Donghyuck starts, but Yukhei is already putting his feet on the pedals. Donghyuck can only watch in horror as his boyfriend makes the fatal mistake of expecting the bike to start moving on its own: with both feet off the floor, he instantly topples sideways and crashes onto the pavement.</p>
<p>Jaemin shrieks with laughter, Mark is equally as amused, and the others rush over to Yukhei as he remains on the floor, dazed.</p>
<p>Jeno moves the bike away after ensuring that Yukhei was okay, and the mermaid stands up again, brushing the dirt from his arms.</p>
<p>“I feel like I did that wrong,” Yukhei muses. As the group chimes in with various affirmations, he goes back to the bike with his lips set in a determined line.</p>
<p>This time, Donghyuck gets to explain it to him before he jumps right in. With their guidance, Yukhei manages to actually get going, although Jeno jogs along behind with his hands on the back of the saddle to steady his balance.</p>
<p>They don’t get far before Yukhei insists he can do it on his own. Reluctantly, Jeno lets go, and Yukhei continues to pedal forwards. Donghyuck is already watching from between his fingers as the bike wobbles precariously.</p>
<p>Just as Yukhei seems to be getting into the swing of it, Mark’s laughter abruptly dies. Panic fills his voice as he hollers after his friend. “Turn, Lucas, <em>turn!</em>”</p>
<p>To their horror, they all clock the metal bench that Yukhei is rapidly approaching.</p>
<p>“Turn, for God’s sake!”</p>
<p>Even Jaemin sounds concerned as he joins Donghyuck in sprinting after Yukhei in the hope that they can push him out of harm’s way. Despite their best efforts though, all they hear is a faint and panicky “<em>I don’t know how to steer!</em>” from Yukhei as he lifts his feet off both pedals, legs stuck out comically as he goes headlong into the bench.</p>
<p>He almost seems to rebound from the force of the collision and ends up sprawled on the ground. Donghyuck rushes over to him; Yukhei lifts his head up, groaning.</p>
<p>“Xuxi! Are you okay?” he asks hurriedly, searching for any signs of blood.</p>
<p>Yukhei groans again and cracks his eyes open. “‘M fine,” he huffs, and Donghyuck breathes a sigh of relief.</p>
<p>“You idiot,” he sighs. “Do you have to be so reckless? It’s not good for my heart,” he says, clutching at his chest.</p>
<p>Yukhei sends him a cheeky grin. “I think I’m very good for your heart.” Weakly, he purses his lips at Donghyuck, asking for a kiss.</p>
<p>Standing a couple metres away, Renjun makes gagging noises, but Donghyuck rolls his eyes and kisses Yukhei anyway.</p>
<p>“Can you get up?” he then asks.</p>
<p>“Think so.” </p>
<p>Donghyuck takes one of Yukhei’s hands and eases him into a sitting position, ensuring he’s not dizzy at all and checking for any injuries again before pulling him to his feet. Yukhei stumbles once, rubs his eyes, and then totters over to the group as Donghyuck wheels the bike over.</p>
<p>“So,” Yukhei starts. “I don’t think I really got the hang of that.”</p>
<p>“What gave it away?” Mark asks.</p>
<p>“Not sure. I think the bike must be faulty.” Yukhei scratches his chin thoughtfully.</p>
<p>“Shame.” Jeno hitches the camera bag higher on his shoulder. “I had some good shots of you two on the bike in mind.”</p>
<p>“Both of us?” Yukhei cries at the same time that Donghyuck snaps “<em>I</em> can ride a bike, you know.”</p>
<p>Jeno seems to be pretty set on this idea, so they get to work as soon as Yukhei has caught his breath. Donghyuck is amazed that he came away unscathed, but Yukhei just threw an arm around him and put it down to his unmatchable brawn. Mark muttered something to himself about a thick skull, but if you asked him what he said he would deny saying anything at all.</p>
<p>Another miracle occurs when they finish filming the bike scene without injury. Yukhei had clung to Donghyuck’s waist with a vice like grip as he pedalled confidently, and Donghyuck can only hope that his face looks pleasantly content rather than like he’s trying too hard to mask his discomfort at Yukhei’s nails digging into his stomach (which is what he was actually doing).</p>
<p>Just as the temperature has dropped to an almost uncomfortable point, Jeno declares that they’ve got enough footage for him to be able to cobble together a decent video. Yukhei cheers at the news, and Donghyuck leans into his side, smiling contentedly.</p>
<p>Not quite wanting to go home yet though, Renjun suggests they go grab a drink from the nearby tea shop. They pile in, aware it’s almost closing time, and hurriedly order: pink milk for Yukhei of course, and Donghyuck gets his usual taro milk tea. Mark excitedly orders watermelon fruit tea with watermelon flavour pearls and then wrinkles his nose in disgust as Jaemin asks for an eight shot Americano with extra caffeine on top.</p>
<p>“That coupled with those chemical milkshakes is gonna get you killed one day,” Jeno mutters as they go to collect their drinks.</p>
<p>Jaemin makes an affronted noise as Mark dissolves into giggles. “You can hear his heartbeat going like a thousand beats per minute from across the room sometimes,” Mark says after taking a sip of his boba. “Woah, this tastes incredible.”</p>
<p>“Not true,” Jaemin mutters as they grab a table outside.</p>
<p>“Is true,” Mark retorts.</p>
<p>“Is not.”</p>
<p>“Is too.”</p>
<p>“Is not.”</p>
<p>“Is so.”</p>
<p>“<em>Anyway</em>,” Jeno cuts in. “When do you guys need this video for?”</p>
<p>Donghyuck slurps at his drink. “ASAP, I guess. We already hit one million, so we just need to get it up.”</p>
<p>“I can’t believe you guys hit one million without promoting your channel anywhere,” Renjun comments, shaking his head slightly in disbelief. He blows gently on his cup of hot green tea and then takes an appreciative sip. Donghyuck punches him in the arm with a scowl.</p>
<p>“Yeah, have you guys seriously never considered opening like, a Twitter account or something?” Jaemin asks.</p>
<p>Yukhei looks at Donghyuck and tilts his head to the side in question. He doesn’t really understand the importance of social media, and considering they’ve got this far without it, he isn’t bothered either way if they ever decide to make one.</p>
<p>“I dunno.” Donghyuck swallows a mouthful of his drink. “I guess there’s no harm in making one, right?”</p>
<p>Yukhei nods in agreement. “We do get a lot of comments asking about it, I suppose.”</p>
<p>Jeno tips the rest of his glass of water down his throat before voicing his own agreement. “Yeah, I think it would be good for interacting with your fans.”</p>
<p>“What are you, our PR manager?” Donghyuck snorts as he fiddles with his phone.</p>
<p>“If you want,” Jeno replies dryly. “I’ll warn you now though, my rates aren’t cheap.”</p>
<p>“Of course, you gold digger,” Donghyuck quips. “Anyway, what should our username be?” He’s got the Twitter app open on his phone, ready to set up an account.</p>
<p>Yukhei puts his drink down and frowns. “Oh, uh…”</p>
<p>“Should be something to do with your duo name, if it’s gonna be a joint account,” Renjun chips in.</p>
<p>Yukhei glances up to meet Donghyuck’s eyes. A joint account? That feels kind of final, but in a good way. It’s like confirmation that they’re doing this for real. That they’re equal in this journey. It’ll be something that both Donghyuck and Yukhei can post things on.</p>
<p>When Donghyuck nods at him surely, Yukhei breaks out in a smile. He wants in on all of this.</p>
<p>With Yukhei’s agreement, Donghyuck types for a few seconds, trying different combinations. “Hey, how about this one? It’s simple I guess, but it works?”</p>
<p>Yukhei cranes his neck as Donghyuck tilts the phone screen towards him. Donghyuck has typed in <em>iridescence_yt</em>, and there’s a green tick next to it, which Yukhei figures means that the username is available to be claimed.</p>
<p>“I like it,” Yukhei agrees, and the others seem to be equally in favour of it, so Donghyuck sets up the account. He lets Yukhei choose their profile picture—he first tries to put a cute one of Donghyuck, but to Yukhei’s chagrin Donghyuck insists that it has to be of both of them—and then fills out their bio and puts their Youtube channel link in it as well.</p>
<p>After that, the conversation wanders off into new territory, discussing things like whether Jeno’s got a moving date for his new place yet or whether Renjun’s ballet students are going to pass their grade exams.</p>
<p>The shop owner knows them well, so leaves the outside light on for them even after slotting the closed sign into place on the door. They stay there until evening has well and truly set in. It’s not often they can all get together in a big group like this; like Johnny, Jaemin often has to commute to the city for work, and the rest of the time he’s seeing Mark. Renjun likes to disappear for a few days before reappearing out of the blue, so their schedules synchronising often ends up being something of a Christmas miracle.</p>
<p>Yukhei treasures the time he spends with their extended group. His only regret is that Dejun and Hendery aren’t here, but he can’t force them to learn to walk on two legs when they have expressed their disinterest for the world beyond the shore. They are content to stay below the surface, and Yukhei respects that.</p>
<p>It doesn’t mean he doesn’t miss them any less at times like this, though. He often finds himself thinking that Hendery and Jaemin would get on well when Jaemin cracks a stupid joke, and he thinks that Dejun would equally appreciate Renjun’s often calmer manner.</p>
<p>As they bid farewell to their friends—Johnny had texted and insisted on picking Donghyuck, Yukhei and the bicycle up—and all head their separate ways, Yukhei finds himself holding onto Donghyuck’s hand a little tighter.</p>
<p>“You miss them, don’t you?” Donghyuck asks, always knowing exactly what’s wrong.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Yukhei admits. “I never thought there’d be a day that I don’t spend with the three of them. It feels weird, you know? Like I’m leaving them behind or forgetting them or something.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck puts his arms around Yukhei’s waist and looks up at him as they wait for Johnny to arrive. “I’m sure they don’t feel like that’s what’s happening. They probably miss you a lot too.”</p>
<p>Yukhei knows Donghyuck’s right, but it still feels strange.</p>
<p>Before he can respond, Johnny pulls up in his big car and they climb into the backseat. Yukhei bookmarks the conversation for another day and settles into the easy silence of Johnny’s car. The radio comes on quietly, a classical station, and Donghyuck reaches his hand across the seat in between them and begins playing with Yukhei’s fingers and stroking the webs in between them.</p>
<p>Yukhei closes his eyes. Even though sometimes he misses Dejun and Hendery with every fibre of his being, he knows he could never leave this.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>
  <a href="https://twitter.com/iridescence_yt">@iridescence_yt</a>
</p>
<p>I don't really know much about YouTube growth or going viral, however this is fiction so we are not going to question it. also, we're beginning to touch more on the Johnny/Donghyuck situation again now, so I hope you're ready!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. ten</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Donghyuck gets a unexpected call and has a long overdue conversation.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A month passes. Yukhei and Donghyuck become increasingly inseparable, Yukhei’s side of the wardrobe becomes equally as full as Donghyuck’s room takes on a definite Yukhei touch, and new photos are put in frames and added to the collection. They also get the hang of running their social media accounts—Yukhei takes to uploading the most disgustingly cute candids of Donghyuck at every opportunity, and Donghyuck retorts with an abundance of his own of Yukhei in return—and their Youtube channel continues to grow.</p><p>It’s because of this that Donghyuck is woken one morning to the sound of his phone ringing from where it sits on the bedside table.</p><p>Donghyuck rolls over, groaning, and blindly swipes his hand across the table until it comes into contact with the phone. Once he’s got it, he returns to his original position curled up against Yukhei’s side, and answers the call.</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>“Is this Donghyuck Suh?” Asks the voice on the other end.</p><p>Donghyuck squeezes his eyes and blinks a few times to try and force some wakefulness into his response. “Yes, who is this?”</p><p>“My name is Taeyong Lee, I’m the coordinator of Neo Zone. Are you familiar with us?”</p><p>Donghyuck shoots into a sitting position, shocking Yukhei awake. Neo Zone is the name of the festival an hour or so away from where they live. It’s the biggest music oriented festival in their region, and it’s quite a well known hub for local talent as well as occasionally managing to get some bigger names to headline. Donghyuck remembers they even had Red Velvet the year after the group debuted. So, despite not being a totally mainstream festival, it would be an insane opportunity for Iridescence, if that’s what Taeyong is calling for. Donghyuck knows of at least two people who have had their big break from Neo Zone.</p><p>“Oh! Yeah, I’m familiar,” Donghyuck replies, trying to keep his cool.</p><p>“Awesome.” Taeyong’s smile can be heard through his voice. “In that case, I’ll get straight to the point. I know this is pretty last minute, and we don’t usually go for cover bands, but we’ve still got a few slots to fill for this year’s festival in a couple months, and one of our scouts came across you guys. You’re pretty local, right?”</p><p>Donghyuck nods, even though Taeyong can’t see him.</p><p>Taeyong carries on. “I gotta say, we were pretty blown away by you two! So I was hoping you’d be up for playing a set for us?”</p><p>Donghyuck slaps Yukhei’s arm repeatedly in excitement. “Oh, wow. That’s—<em>wow</em>. That’s awesome, thank you so much! We’d be honoured, but, um—do you mind if I ask Yukhei first?”</p><p>“Oh yeah, sure, go ahead.”</p><p>“Alright, I’ll just be a sec.”</p><p>Donghyuck puts the call on hold and turns to a much more awake looking Yukhei. “Guess what?”</p><p>“What?” Yukhei hums, reaching out to tuck a lock of hair behind Donghyuck’s ear.</p><p>Donghyuck tuts and returns the favour as he explains the call, smoothing out Yukhei’s bedhead and hooking it behind his ears. <em>Cute</em>.</p><p>“So, what do you think? Is that a yes? You wanna do it?”</p><p>Yukhei’s body is tense, so Donghyuck knows he’s both nervous and apprehensive, but his eyes are sparkling as he nods. “We have to say yes, duh! It would be stupid not to.”</p><p>“Okay, okay, let me just tell Taeyong then.” Donghyuck picks up the phone again. “Hi, Taeyong?”</p><p>“Hey!” Taeyong says brightly. “Made your decision?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Donghyuck bites his lip. “We’d love to.”</p><p>“That’s brilliant, thank you <em>so</em> much,” Taeyong says. “So, we’ll discuss the details in a sec, but I just wanted to ask—do you guys have any of your own songs at all? No worries if not, but we do like to showcase as much original material as possible.”</p><p>The fifty or so songs scribbled inside in a small notebook on Donghyuck’s desk, meant to be written there and forgotten, are suddenly very loud.</p><p>Donghyuck pauses before replying. “Uh, we do have some stuff, yeah.” <em>Think of the opportunity,</em> he repeats in his mind.</p><p>“Nice, nice,” Taeyong murmurs. “Do you have an email address I can take? We can go over all the small print on the phone now, but this way I can email you it all so you don’t forget and we can also use it to send you any extra bits you’ll need to know. No marketing or newsletters, I promise,” he adds with a laugh.</p><p>“Sure.” Dazed, Donghyuck reels off his email, and gets comfortable as Taeyong launches into his spiel.</p><p>By the time Donghyuck hangs up, he feels ready to go straight back to sleep. But Yukhei is sitting next to him, watching him expectantly as he continues to rub small circles on Donghyuck’s back. He’d started doing it when Donghyuck had unconsciously rubbed his temple, flagging under the weight of all the information Taeyong was dumping on him.</p><p>Donghyuck clambers into Yukhei’s lap, knees bracketing his hips. As he pulls the duvet up round his shoulders and Yukhei settles his hands on Donghyuck’s thighs, he begins to relay the call.</p><p>It’s only when he’s relaying the date of their performance slot that Donghyuck makes a sudden realisation.</p><p>Yukhei can see that something’s up instantly from where he’s lying back against the pillows. He squeezes Donghyuck’s thigh. “What’s up, buttercup?”</p><p>“My big meeting. The one that got scheduled the other day, about the production of my book. You remember? ‘Cause I was complaining about them scheduling it so far in advance. It’s the start of May as well. In fact, I’m pretty sure they’re the same day.” Donghyuck feels his face wobble as he unlocks his phone, going straight to his emails where the details from Taeyong are already waiting for him. He makes a note of the date, then opens his calendar and feels his entire body sag as he matches it up to the date of his important meeting.</p><p>“Snap.” He sighs. “I’ll never be able to make both of them.” He hangs his head, feeling all the excitement at the prospect of Neo Zone being extinguished in an instant.</p><p>“So just move the meeting,” Yukhei suggests, as if it’s that easy.</p><p>	Donghyuck laughs harshly. “Johnny would have my head.”</p><p>	Yukhei shrugs, but his voice is careful when he speaks next. “What would <em>you</em> rather do? Without thinking about Johnny, or me, or anything else. What does your gut say?”</p><p>	“Neo Zone,” Donghyuck says without a flicker of hesitation. </p><p>Yukhei smiles broadly. “See? You can’t skip out on this. This would be our first live performance, right? This is unmissable.”</p><p>Donghyuck nods, but his eyes are still sad. “The meeting though…”</p><p>Yukhei takes one of Donghyuck’s hands in his. “I think… I think this would be a good opportunity to talk to your brother. About music. Show him that you can do it, that it’s what you want.”</p><p>Donghyuck stares at their joined hands, unconvinced.</p><p>“It’s not like you have to straight up cancel the meeting. You could just ask to postpone it, right? But either way, Johnny is gonna have to know.”</p><p>“Yeah, you’re right.” Donghyuck gives in. “It’s still fucking scary, though. What if he says no?”</p><p>Yukhei scoffs. “It’s your life. He can’t say no if you don’t let him. Besides,” Yukhei leans forward and presses a kiss to Donghyuck’s knuckles. “I’ll be right by your side. I won’t let him tell you what to do. After all, this is what I want too. I want to sing. But I want to sing with you. It wouldn’t be complete without <em>you</em>.”</p><p>Feeling a sudden surge of gratefulness for Yukhei’s whole existence, Donghyuck rests his palms on Yukhei’s chest and leans forward to lovingly kiss him. “I appreciate you <em>so much</em>,” he whispers. He flops down onto Yukhei, tucking his face in the juncture of his neck. “Thank you for always supporting me.”</p><p>“Of course, sunflower,” Yukhei links his hands around his clingy boyfriend, and thinks back to all the times he wasn’t there for Donghyuck, wasn’t as strong and reliable and constant as he should have been. In this moment, he steels his resolve once again, determined to be the one who Donghyuck can always count on to catch him. “I always will.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>After that phone call, it seemed to be all systems go.</p><p>Thanking his lucky stars that the majority of the book work is out of the way, Donghyuck threw himself into songwriting. It took a lot of courage initially to share his notebook with Yukhei and Taeil, but after a lot of reassurance—and Taeil singing a demo to prove their potential—Donghyuck’s confidence grew.</p><p>It took them about a week to finalise the songs they want to sing. Taeyong had guesstimated that their set would be about half an hour to forty minutes, because even though they aren’t headlining, he thinks that with the right promotion their performance could draw quite a crowd. So, with Taeyong (who quickly became so fond of the pair he decided to personally oversee their preparations) on a Skype call as they conduct their discussions in Taeil’s little studio, they put together a mixture of covers and originals. Yukhei insists on some ABBA, of course, but they manage to cobble together some other songs they’ve covered too. They had no choice—Taeyong had put his foot down when Yukhei had slyly tried to suggest seven ABBA songs in one meeting.</p><p>Needless to say, Yukhei had pouted like a baby for the rest of the day.</p><p>Alongside the covers though, they had to pick the best of Donghyuck’s own creations. Taeil had worked day and night to put together some basic instrumentals for them, and then after extensive listening and comparing they were able to complete the selection.</p><p>That brings them to today. It’s April already, with about T minus four weeks till Neo Zone. Taeil is at the shop putting the final touches to the instrumentals with Yuta, and Donghyuck and Yukhei have just finished rehearsing for the day. The gentle evening sunlight streams in through the bedroom window, painting everything in gold. Yukhei is gazing at Donghyuck from where he lies on the bed, watching Donghyuck spin slowly from side to side in his desk chair as he stares down at his notebook with a frown. His back is to the window, and the sunset gives him an angelic glow, making him look nothing less than ethereal.</p><p>Yukhei smiles, even though he feels like he’s suffocating under the sheer force of his love.</p><p>It’s been four months since Yukhei first stumbled onto Donghyuck’s doorstep, determined to make things right. Four blissful months. Sure, it’s not been easy, especially recently: the chaos of getting ready for Neo Zone has definitely put a strain on them, what with rehearsing and song writing and still having to manage the Youtube channel and their joint Twitter account. And then coupling that with having to attempt it all without letting Johnny catch wind of it, because Donghyuck isn’t ready to face his brother yet, whilst living under the same roof as him means that there have been several nights where they go to bed feeling tense and even unhappy.</p><p>But each morning Yukhei wakes up with Donghyuck’s head on his chest and their legs tangled together, entwined so completely that they feel like one entity, and all is forgotten.</p><p>After all, they’re Yukhei and Donghyuck. Two halves of one whole. Iridescent.</p><p>Donghyuck snaps the notebook shut and looks up at Yukhei. He looks horribly worn out, so Yukhei opens his arms and beckons for Donghyuck to come and snuggle. When Donghyuck is curled up against his side, head on Yukhei’s shoulder and one leg thrown over Yukhei’s pelvis, Yukhei breaks the silence.</p><p>“What’s up, buttercup?” he asks softly, like he always does when he can see there’s something on Donghyuck’s mind.</p><p>“I’m thinking about Johnny,” Donghyuck admits. He reaches forward and pulls at Yukhei’s shirt, rubbing the soft material between his thumb and forefinger.</p><p>Ah. Yukhei bites his lip. This had been the source of their tension last night. Yukhei had suggested that perhaps it was time that Donghyuck approached his brother about the festival and postponing the meeting, hoping that Donghyuck would agree, but Donghyuck had freaked out. It had dissolved into a stupid back and forth that eventually just fizzled into petty silences. Despite understanding his fears, Yukhei had been frustrated that Donghyuck was letting it get closer and closer to d-day without telling him, and Donghyuck had felt like he was being backed into a corner. They’d apologised to each other this morning, but the argument had hung over them all day.</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>Donghyuck sighs. “You were right. I do need to talk to him. I’ve been thinking about it all day, honestly. I know we said sorry this morning, but I couldn’t stop going back to what we said last night, and I realised I’m being really unfair to you as well. You shouldn’t have to hide something you’re passionate about and excited for just because I’m a coward.”</p><p>Yukhei tenses. “You’re not a coward, Donghyuck. Don’t say that.”</p><p>Donghyuck shakes his head. “No, I am. He’s just my brother, I shouldn’t be so afraid of telling him. And to be honest… I’m just fucking tired of hiding it. I’m tired of not feeling like I have control over my own life.”</p><p>Hope flutters in Yukhei’s chest.</p><p>“So,” Donghyuck continues, “I’m going to talk to him tomorrow. I know he’ll be home, it says on the calendar. But I was wondering…” He pauses, then looks up at Yukhei, eyes wide. “Would you be there? When I do it?”</p><p>Yukhei nods immediately. “Of course, sunflower.”</p><p>“I know it might be uncomfortable for you, especially ‘cause I don’t even know how it’s going to go, but I would appreciate it if you’d be there.” </p><p>	Yukhei waves his worries away. “If you want me, I’ll be there. No questions asked.”</p><p>	Donghyuck tilts his head forward to press a kiss to the underside of Yukhei’s jaw. “Will always want you,” he mumbles into Yukhei’s skin, and Yukhei feels his chest go tight.</p><p>	With the hand that isn’t holding Donghyuck close, he traces the scales on his cheeks. A rush of nerves ripples through him as the thought comes to mind, but he’s thought it so often lately that the angst is now accompanied by a surge of anticipation and need.</p><p>	It’s only been four months officially, but it just feels so right. Like everything in his life has slotted into the place it was destined to be.</p><p>	His scales are smooth and silky to the touch.</p><p>	Should he?</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>	Hand in hand, Donghyuck and Yukhei make their way over to Johnny’s office the next day. He lets them in in silence, offering them a drink as they make themselves comfortable on the small sofa tucked in the corner.</p><p>	After handing Yukhei a glass of water to sip on, Johnny sits in his padded desk chair and looks at them both expectantly. “What was it you wanted to talk to me about?”</p><p>	Yukhei squeezes Donghyuck’s hand in encouragement. He won’t say this to Donghyuck, but he’s also apprehensive about how this conversation will play out. It’s been weird, to say the least, for a while now. Ever since around the time they posted their first cover on Youtube, actually—Yukhei has his suspicions about whether Johnny found out about it, but again, he’s not going to mention it to Donghyuck. Since then, Johnny has been more unpredictable. Some days he’s kinder, more approachable, initiating real conversation with his brother that doesn’t spiral; other days he’s cold again, frustrated. From Yukhei’s perspective, he’s battling with himself, but that only adds to Yukhei’s worry about how Johnny will react to what Donghyuck is about to say because he doesn’t know which side won.</p><p>	“I’m just going to come out and say it,” Donghyuck begins, “and I’d like for you to listen to me with an open mind, without interrupting me. I’d like you to wait until I’ve said everything I want to say. Then I will let you pass your opinion on it.”</p><p>	Yukhei takes a smug sip of water. Good start. </p><p>	Johnny doesn’t seem to have a problem with that, so Donghyuck continues.</p><p>	“I want to postpone the big meeting in May,” he announces. Immediately, Johnny is sitting forward and opening his mouth, but Donghyuck holds up a hand and stops him. “No, you said you’d wait, Johnny,” he reprimands. Reluctantly, Johnny slumps backwards.</p><p>	“I want to postpone it because Yukhei and I have been invited to perform at Neo Zone on that day.”</p><p>	At the mention of Neo Zone, Johnny’s eyes go wide. It seems that even he is aware of the meaning of such an invite.</p><p>	“I know you don’t approve of me doing music, and you don’t want me to, but I want to take control of the direction my life is going in. You know I love writing—I do, and I always will—but you know I don’t want to pursue it as a career. Yeah, maybe I’ll do the odd bit, but I want to pursue music. With Yukhei. I’m sick and tired of being made to feel like I owe you something, Johnny. Like I’m indebted to you. Because I’m not. I don’t know why you felt like my life was yours to control. So, actually, I’m telling you I’m postponing it. It’s my meeting, so I’m going to do it.” Donghyuck laughs bitterly. With each sentence that spills out of his mouth, he seems to be getting more confident. “I don’t know why I thought I needed to ask your permission. I’m not a child, even if you think I am.”</p><p>	“I don’t think that,” Johnny whispers.</p><p>	“Don’t you? So why are we having this conversation then? ‘Cause it sure has always felt like it.”</p><p>	“I just wanted to protect you.”</p><p>	Donghyuck raises his eyebrows. “Why? From what?” He asks, incredulous. This is nothing he hasn’t heard before, words fleetingly absorbed over many years, but Donghyuck has had enough.</p><p>Johnny sits forward, twisting his hands together. “I think it’s time I gave you an explanation. I owe you as much.” He takes a deep breath, eyes fluttering closed for a moment. “The summer Mum and Dad got sick, my career fell apart.</p><p>	“You probably don’t remember. You and I never really talked about work at that point, and you’d never been to any of my recitals or performances, so this was just another thing we tried to shelter you from. Obviously you knew they were dying, but you didn’t need to know that I’d lost my job and our only active source of income on top of that, so...” Johnny takes a deep breath. “It wasn’t just that, though. Playing the piano was my dream. Ever since I played my first clumsy song when I was about four, I’d wanted to be a pianist. And so losing that was like losing a limb.”</p><p>	Next to Yukhei, Donghyuck is frozen. Johnny has never mentioned any of this.</p><p>	“I won’t go into the details of what happened. I still find it hard to talk about,” Johnny says sadly. “But the way I felt for so long after it happened, well… I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Struggling to support you, and with Mum and Dad’s conditions worsening daily, it was hard. All I wanted was to make sure that you were happy and felt safe. You’d been through so much already before you became a part of our family that I was terrified to let you go through that again.” Johnny clenches his fists. “I felt the fear so fiercely that I guess it just continued, even when you became an adult and started figuring out your own life. I saw so much of myself in you that I was reminded of what happened to me. Luckily by that point, I’d used Mum and Dad’s connections to create a stable life for myself, with plenty of my own accumulated savings as backup, and so I wanted to continue to provide you with the safety I always had.</p><p>	“Donghyuck, I never meant for it to get to this point. I just wanted you to be comfortable and never have to worry about anything,” Johnny pleads.</p><p>	Yukhei turns to look at Donghyuck and sees silent tears staining his cheeks. There’s a tissue box on the table next to them; Yukhei reaches over and grabs a couple to hand to Donghyuck.</p><p>	“But I did worry.” Donghyuck hiccups. “I worried about disappointing you. I worried about resigning myself to a career I wasn’t interested in, and I worried about what would happen to our relationship if I told you it was making me unhappy and I wanted to sing instead. I know you meant well, but it just made new problems instead.”</p><p>	“I’m sorry,” Johnny says, and he sounds like he truly means it.</p><p>	Donghyuck waves him off. “It’s fine. I figured there was something behind it. I just wish you’d been honest with me from the beginning. I’m not fragile anymore, you know, I can handle these things.”</p><p>“I know,” Johnny agrees. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about it recently. It was actually the first cover you guys posted together that made me think.”</p><p>	Donghyuck covers his mouth. “You saw that?”</p><p>	Johnny laughs. “Well. I saw an article about it, and it left a bad taste in my mouth. I immediately went to tell you to snap out of it, but then I overheard you talking to Yukhei, and it just finally hit me how negatively I’d been affecting you. So I went back and watched the cover, and I was in awe. You’re so talented, Duck, it was amazing.”</p><p>	“Oh, uh… thank you,” Donghyuck says, stunned. Yukhei grins.</p><p>	Johnny uses his heels to drag himself across the floor on his chair. He stops in front of Donghyuck and slowly, tentatively reaches out to take Donghyuck’s free hand, giving him enough time to pull away if he wants to. Yukhei feels Donghyuck tense up: this is the first time Johnny has shown him blatant affection in too long. “I know it’s not really my place to say, considering everything, but I’m really proud of you, Hyuck. I’m proud of you for being stronger than I was, for being determined to follow your passion no matter what. And even though it’s going to be hard for me, ‘cause I’m still really scared, I want to start supporting you properly. I want to be there for you like a brother should be. Like I should have been all this time.”</p><p>	Johnny pauses, letting his confession linger in the air. Donghyuck stares at him wordlessly.</p><p>“If you’ll allow me, that’s what I want.”</p><p>The hand that Yukhei is holding his trembling. Donghyuck doesn’t reply, letting the silence creep in around them till it’s got a hand on their necks. Johnny’s bravado seems to be cracking: his serious expression turns worried, eyebrows tilted down as he begins to retract his hand.</p><p>“I’ll allow it,” Donghyuck suddenly concedes, and all the tension seems to bleed out of Johnny’s body as he breathes a sigh of relief. “But all this has got to stop. No more making decisions for me. Let me take risks if I want to. Let me take the hit if that’s how it ends up. If you have concerns, fine, but please just talk to me. Be honest and forthcoming like you were today,” Donghyuck requests. “I want to be able to turn to you for support, but only if you’ll give me the advice I need and then let me execute it myself.”</p><p>Johnny nods hurriedly. “I will.”</p><p>For the first time this whole conversation, Donghyuck smiles. “Thank you.”</p><p>“I can’t promise to change straight away. Ten years of living with this mindset can’t change overnight.” Johnny laughs bitterly; Yukhei can see how that fact frustrates him, and he sympathises.</p><p>“That’s okay,” Donghyuck says. “It’s not like I’m instantly going to see you as the best big brother, is it? But we can take this one step at a time. Like, repair it properly.”</p><p>Johnny nods. The brothers look at each other, meeting each other’s eyes, and Yukhei begins to feel like they’re finally standing on mutual ground. The silence now is peaceful, accepting, all previous tension seemingly banished.</p><p>Yukhei is surprised. He’s not sure if it’s his presence in the room that is to blame for the conversation being conducted so civilly, but he’s glad that it played out the way it did. He’s pleased that they won’t have to hide anymore, but mostly he’s just happy for Donghyuck. This is what Donghyuck deserves.</p><p>“I’d like to apologise to you as well, Yukhei.”</p><p>Yukhei blinks as his presence is acknowledged and he’s drawn back into the room from his thoughts. “Huh?” he says, confused. Whilst he will admit he’s resented Johnny, it’s because of the way he treated Donghyuck, not for anything towards him. Johnny doesn’t have anything to apologise to him for.</p><p>“I’m sorry if I ever made you feel unwelcome in our house,” Johnny explains. “I haven’t exactly been polite, have I? And you two seem very serious, so I should have been better. I hope you still feel like you’re part of our family, because I think both Donghyuck and I would agree that you definitely are.”</p><p>Donghyuck nods happily, and Yukhei feels his face heat up. “Um. Woah. Thanks, but it’s chill. Don’t worry about it,” he stutters, surprised.</p><p>“So,” Johnny says brightly. “Shall we get this meeting postponed, then?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>finally, the start of johnny's redemption :') I felt so bad the entire time I was writing him that that final scene is like a breath of fresh air for me. of course, this doesn't mean everything is magically fixed, but it's the first step in the right direction! yay!</p><p>I kind of imagine the songs Donghyuck writes to have similar vibes to No Longer, End to Start, Dear Dream, etc... basically all nct's ballad songs are written by Donghyuck in this fic.</p><p>also, put a #LetYukheiSingABBA in the comments if u think they should have let him have all 23 abba songs he wanted in the set &gt;:(</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. eleven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This is only the beginning.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With five days to go, Donghyuck sends out a tweet to remind their followers that they’re going to be performing and that there’s still a few tickets to the festival left. On the laptop, Yukhei scrolls through the thousands of responses, steadily feeling more and more giddy as he sees how many people are saying that they’ve got tickets already and are so excited for the show.</p>
<p>“This is insane,” he comments, and Donghyuck hums in agreement from where he’s sprawled on his stomach on their bed. “Yo, have you seen this one? ‘I’ve been following Donghyuck since his first cover and I can’t believe I’m going to see him at his very first live performance too! So proud of everything you’ve achieved and I can’t wait to see you continue to grow!’ Aw, that’s so sweet. I’m gonna like it,” Yukhei says, clicking the heart button. “Can I reply as well?”</p>
<p>“Sure,” Donghyuck agrees. “Everyone is just so nice, what the hell.” He’s scrolling through the replies on his phone, cheek squished as he props himself up on one hand.</p>
<p>“Of course. Idol influences fan, after all.” Yukhei snickers.</p>
<p>Donghyuck throws a pillow at him lamely, and Yukhei snorts as it falls short. “Shut up, idiot. I’m not an idol.”</p>
<p>“Yet,” Yukhei corrects, yelping as Donghyuck manages to get the pillow to hit him this time.</p>
<p>“Seriously. I still can’t believe how this has happened to us. One point seven million subscribers, Xuxi, what did I do to deserve this?”</p>
<p>When they’d hit the initial one million back in February, their followers had kept increasing steadily, but then Neo Zone announced their participation. After that they’d got another influx of subscribers, very similarly to the way they had after their first duet went viral. That evening had been spent watching the real time subscriber count with mouths hanging open, not quite believing what they were seeing.</p>
<p>“You shared your voice with the world, and they recognised your talent, my love.” Yukhei closes the laptop and joins Donghyuck on the bed, flopping down on Donghyuck’s back and smothering him. Yukhei peppers kisses to the nape of Donghyuck’s neck as he squirms beneath him, both of them eventually dissolving into giggles.</p>
<p>“They recognise yours too, Xuxi,” Donghyuck manages to say once they’ve calmed down. Yukhei is still lying on top of Donghyuck, chin tucked onto Donghyuck’s shoulder so he can see the phone screen.</p>
<p>Yukhei hums, not really taking him seriously. Although he knows he’s got a little following of his own, he’s still under the impression that Donghyuck is hugely more popular than he is. Not that he really minds, of course. He doesn’t see it as a competition.</p>
<p>Donghyuck turns to him, brow furrowed. “I’m serious. You’re so talented, Xuxi, I could never have got here without you.”</p>
<p>As thanks, Yukhei presses a kiss to his temple, and then they go back to scrolling through Twitter. But soon enough Yukhei finds he can’t focus on the words he’s trying to read because his mind suddenly begins to race. He’s done a good job of repressing his anxiety about appearing in public so far, but at times like this when he begins to question his own talent and integrity all his worries come flooding back.</p>
<p>“I’m terrified,” Yukhei blurts suddenly. The silence that follows is deafening, and Donghyuck scrunches his face up in confusion.</p>
<p>“Of what?”</p>
<p>“Of performing. Of what people will say when they see the real me.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck understands what he means instantly. They’d talked about whether Yukhei had wanted to conceal his scales for the performance or not, and while his initial decision had been a firm yes, he’d soon relented, realising he would rather reveal them on his own terms than have the wrong person be the first to spot it and have it come out in a negative light.</p>
<p>Obviously, this will warrant some kind of explanation. Yukhei knows it’s going to be easier to just tell the truth. It’s not like people don’t know mermaids exist: humans and mermaids have lived side by side for millenia now. He’ll just be the first to come around in the public eye with legs.</p>
<p>So it’ll be hard, of course, but not impossible.</p>
<p>“If they don’t love you, then they don’t deserve you. You should just focus on everyone who still supports you. Pay no mind to anyone who says nasty things. I don’t think anyone will write off your talent because you’re a mermaid because it is physically not possible to think you have anything less than a gorgeous voice.” Donghyuck tilts his head to the side so he can glance up at Yukhei. “Besides, you’re beautiful, how could they <em>not</em> love you?”</p>
<p>Yukhei snakes his arms around Donghyuck’s front and squeezes him in a hug. “As long as you love me,” he jokes.</p>
<p>Donghyuck chuckles, but his voice is still serious as he says “I know you’re worried about everyone else’s opinion. Validation is always nice, but please don’t let them affect you too much. It’s not worth it in the long run, and remember, we’re only at the start of the race. <em>I</em> love you. Mark loves you. Focus on those who matter.”</p>
<p>“Okay.” Yukhei snuggles closer. “I’ll try not to think about it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>☼</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>On performance day, Yukhei doesn’t get a wink of sleep.</p>
<p>Donghyuck is equally restless, tossing and turning all night as he drifts in and out of fitful slumber. They drag themselves out of bed at six am, tired and groggy and feeling the beginnings of nerves and adrenaline thrumming in their veins.</p>
<p>	They arrive at the venue a couple of hours earlier than expected, but it had got to the point where they were just getting themselves tied up in knots at home, so Donghyuck gave in and called them a cab.</p>
<p>	In the spare few hours they have before they need to get ready, they wander around, watching everything get set up. Taeyong accompanies them for a while, understanding their nerves and wanting to try and ease them. He points out each place they’ll need to take note of—the toilets, the food vans, the side stages and then the main stage that they’ll be taking by storm.</p>
<p>	“It’s huge,” Yukhei whispers in awe as they stand at the foot of it, staring up at where they’ll be standing in five hours. He’s right—it’s vast in comparison to the little home studio they’re familiar with. Speakers line the edges of the stage, ready to pump the music straight into the veins of the crowd, and the lighting rig hung above the stage for when it gets dark looks intricate and complex. The stage is empty so far save for a few crew members hurrying back and forth—one of them, who Taeyong points out and introduces as Doyoung, is hollering into an earpiece as he jogs across the stage, clipboard in hand. Yukhei isn’t sure whether the sight of him makes him more uneasy or more reassured.</p>
<p>Donghyuck nods numbly in agreement with Yukhei’s statement. The reality of it all is starting to sink in now, and he takes Yukhei’s hand in an effort to absorb the scale of it.</p>
<p>“Excited?” Taeyong asks.</p>
<p>Yukhei laughs softly. “And terrified,” he admits.</p>
<p>Taeyong nods in understanding. “Of course, it’s your first live performance, right? You’ll be fine. It’s always a bit overwhelming at first, but you’ll get into the swing of it as soon as you start singing. I promise.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck looks skeptical, but doesn’t protest as Taeyong realises it’s time to go and get ready. With Neo Zone’s permission, they’d organised a small, casual meet and greet with the handful of subscribers that got tickets to the show, so time is slowly running out.</p>
<p>Yukhei jiggles his legs the whole time the flighty assistant is doing his makeup, and tries to ignore how blatantly she stares at his rosy gold scales. He can practically see the questions buzzing around in her brain when he requests that she doesn’t cover them up, but he’s too anxious to be his normal chatty self and indulge her.</p>
<p>Donghyuck is sat across the room, legs tucked up underneath him as he types furiously on his phone. Yukhei turns all his attention on his boyfriend, admiring the way there’s sparkles dusted across his eyelids and the faintest slick of lipgloss on his lips. Subtle, but enhancing the abundance of beauty Yukhei already knows Donghyuck owns.</p>
<p>Yukhei’s face falls into a hopeless smile. Distantly, he registers the make-up girl giving him the green light, so he stands up and practically runs over to Donghyuck, making himself as small as possible in order to curl up against his side and press a kiss to his neck. </p>
<p>Donghyuck nudges his cheek against the crown of Yukhei’s head as a greeting. “Ready?” he murmurs.</p>
<p>“Always,” Yukhei replies.</p>
<p>They stand and make their way hand in hand to the area that Taeyong allowed them to use. There’s an act performing on the main stage already and a pretty sizable crowd seem to be enjoying the show, with more joining by the minute as people trickle in through the gate. </p>
<p>When they arrive, there’s already some people hanging around the meet and greet area, but even these few are way more than both Yukhei and Donghyuck had expected. As they approach, the crowd catches sight of them, and they break out into smiles and shrieks of excitement.</p>
<p>For a second, the pair falter, suddenly slammed with the reality of their own popularity as a couple of girls run up to them and start chattering. It’s surreal. It’s one thing to see the people that support their dream as a number on a screen, but it’s a completely different thing seeing them in person.</p>
<p>These are the people that are giving both Yukhei and Donghyuck the chance to put their dream into action.</p>
<p>This is <em>crazy.</em></p>
<p>They spend the next few hours chatting and taking pictures with a constant stream of people; even a few interested passers by say hello and promise to check out their performance. With each person that comes up to them and tells them they’re a fan, Yukhei feels his nerves calm, and gradually the conversation begins to flow and his smile begins to relax. He’s glad for it, especially as without fail every person that comes up to him gasps and asks about his scales. No one has made any nasty comments so far though, so things are looking pretty positive. </p>
<p>As they begin to wrap things up, Yukhei catches sight of a couple of boys hanging back at the edge of the crowd. He’s noticed them on and off for a while now, and at first he wasn’t sure they were here for Iridescence, but then he’d caught the shy way they were looking over and he realised they were just too nervous to approach.</p>
<p>Yukhei doesn’t blame them—the crowd of girls in between him and these two boys seems vast.</p>
<p>Once the crowd has thinned a little though, he catches their eyes and beckons to them. Faces lighting up, they scurry over.</p>
<p>“Hey!” Yukhei greets them enthusiastically, hoping he can make them feel welcome.</p>
<p>“Hello,” the taller boy stutters. His cheeks are rosy beneath his round glasses and he won’t quite meet Yukhei’s eyes.</p>
<p>“Come on, Jisung,” the other boy whines. “You’ve been trying to get the confidence to talk to them for like an hour now. I’m hungry.”</p>
<p>“Shut up, Chenle,” he hisses, then turns sharply back to Yukhei with wide, embarrassed eyes.</p>
<p>Yukhei grins. “Well, you’re here now, that’s all that matters! It’s nice to meet you—Jisung, right?” Jisung nods. “Awesome, you wanna take a photo?”</p>
<p>Jisung nods again more eagerly.</p>
<p>Yukhei calls Donghyuck over and they stand with Jisung in the middle as Chenle takes a few snaps. He can feel Jisung trembling in between them as they pose, and Yukhei wonders why Jisung is this nervous. No one has been nervous to this extent yet.</p>
<p>They chat for a little bit afterwards; they learn that while Chenle isn’t as much of a fan as Jisung is, he came for Jisung’s sake and reluctantly agrees that they do have good voices. Jisung plucks up the courage to compliment Yukhei’s scales as well, which actually manages to make the mermaid flustered. Nevertheless, Yukhei takes quite a liking to them—he likes to see that their demographic is wider than what it appears on the outside. Plus, Jisung quietly confesses that he’s also a huge ABBA fan, and that instantly makes Yukhei want to adopt him.</p>
<p>Too quickly though, time runs out, and Donghyuck tugs on Yukhei’s arm after checking his phone. “Xuxi, we need to get ready.”</p>
<p>“Hm? Oh, yeah.” He turns back to Jisung and Chenle. “Well, we gotta run. You’re gonna watch us perform, right?”</p>
<p>Chenle confirms immediately, but Jisung looks conflicted. Yukhei waits, understanding from the look on his face that Jisung has something else he’d like to say.</p>
<p>He was right. “I want to thank you guys,” Jisung blurts. Donghyuck and Yukhei turn to look at each other, surprised. “Um. I know you only post covers right now, like maybe you never really intended to do this, but you’ve um—you’ve really helped me. A lot. After seeing your uh, your one million video, and then reading your tweets and stuff, I got the confidence to come out to my mum. And she was really nice about it too.”</p>
<p>Yukhei’s mouth falls open. Holy shit.</p>
<p>“I’m bisexual,” Jisung confesses. “And I don’t know when I’d have had the strength to come out if it wasn’t for you. So yeah. Uh, thanks.”</p>
<p>As if they read each other’s minds, both Yukhei and Donghyuck step forward to wrap Jisung in a hug. “We’re so proud of you,” Donghyuck says when they step away. “It’s crazy to think that we could help you like that, but I’m so happy for you!”</p>
<p>“Yeah. That’s awesome!” Yukhei chips in. He can feel tears bubbling at the corners of his eyes, utterly overwhelmed with seeing how they have reached out and touched people.</p>
<p>“Thanks.” Jisung stares at his feet, shy again.</p>
<p>“We really need to go,” Donghyuck says sadly, “but please do watch our show! We’ll dedicate it to you!”</p>
<p>Jisung grins, and Yukhei slyly clocks him slipping his hand into Chenle’s as they run off with a wave.</p>
<p>“That’s his boyfriend,” Yukhei realises aloud as they walk around to the backstage area.</p>
<p>“Hm?”</p>
<p>“Chenle. He’s Jisung’s boyfriend.”</p>
<p>Realisation flashes across Donghyuck’s face. “You know, that makes a ton of sense.”</p>
<p>	“Is it just me who’s feeling super overwhelmed right now?” Yukhei asks after a beat of silence.</p>
<p>	Donghyuck snakes his arm round Yukhei’s waist and bumps their hips together. “Not at all,” he says, exhaling slowly. “The whole time, in my head I was just going <em>holy shit holy shit holy shit these people are real and they like my voice and they’re here for us and this is fucking insane</em> and to be honest I’m surprised I managed to stay upright through it all.”</p>
<p>	Yukhei laughs, comforted by the fact that he and his boyfriend were in exactly the same boat. “Same. I think my legs are like jelly. It feels like standing up for the first time all over again.”</p>
<p>	Donghyuck giggles, moving to stand in front of Yukhei when they reach backstage. “And I can’t believe… We helped him come out. That’s… that doesn’t seem real. There were so many people I looked up to for that kind of strength and support when I was younger, so much music that made it all feel easier, that I can’t quite get my head around being that someone for someone else.”</p>
<p>	Yukhei pulls Donghyuck into a hug and rests his chin on top of Donghyuck’s curls. “It’s really nice, though, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>	“Yeah,” Donghyuck agrees, leaning back so he can beam up at Yukhei. “God, Xuxi, I wouldn’t change any of this for the world. It’s surreal, but I don’t think this moment could get any more perfect.”</p>
<p>	“Good,” Yukhei hums, then tilts his head down to connect their lips in a kiss. Holding Donghyuck this close is still electrifying; being able to feel Donghyuck’s body pressed against his and feeling the warmth of his face under Yukhei’s palm is all Yukhei could ever ask for. Truly the best thing in the world, better than being a mermaid, better than chasing a dream.</p>
<p>	To try and show his gratitude, he kisses Donghyuck tenderly, eyes fluttering shut as his hand slips into its home on Donghyuck’s cheek. Donghyuck stretches onto his tiptoes, returning the kiss with equal amounts of adoration and fervour.</p>
<p>	He squeezes Yukhei’s waist fondly as he pulls away, looking warm as his eyes sparkle. “Ready?” he asks, grabbing Yukhei’s hand and looking back over his shoulder as he turns towards the stage door. Past it, the rumbling of the crowd can be heard as the previous set comes to a close. Taeyong is by the door, gesturing for them to hurry up.</p>
<p>	But around him the world seems to fall away, the cheering becoming faint and distant as Yukhei sees nothing but Donghyuck. Any terror he might still be feeling is gone in an instant, replaced by the confidence he draws from his boyfriend as he focuses hard on the feeling of their hands joined together. In this moment Yukhei thinks he would follow Donghyuck anywhere, if it meant he could see that pure, unadulterated joy and feel it reflected in himself forever.</p>
<p>	Alone, they can shine, but together, they are iridescent.</p>
<p>	“Yes,” he confirms, surer than ever. “I’m ready, sunflower.”</p>
<p>	To the roars of approval from the crowd, they tumble out onto the stage. The spring sunlight is almost blinding; Yukhei squints as he bounces into position, waving at the crowd. Someone hollers his name: in the front row, pressed so close to the barrier that they’ve almost become a part of it, is all their friends. Mark, who waves frantically and screeches when Yukhei waves and winks at him, and then Jaemin, Jeno, and Renjun next to him, all of whom look equally hyped up.</p>
<p>	Then, to his utter shock, he spots Johnny a few rows back, looking completely out of place as he stands still in the pulsing crowd. Nevertheless, the look on his face is simple, undoubtable pride as he gazes at his little brother up on the stage. Yukhei looks over to Donghyuck now and reaches for his hand once more when he sees Donghyuck looking back, frozen.</p>
<p>	“This is only the beginning,” Yukhei mouths, and then as the music begins to pound out of the speakers, they start to sing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>&lt;3jisung&lt;3</p>
<p>so this is kind of the end, I guess, although there is still the epilogue to go! I felt this is a good place to wrap it all up. when I started outlining this fic, I quickly realised that it would have a lot of arcs/subplots and I feel like this ending sums them all up quite nicely. whilst the relationship was the main focus, I really enjoyed writing in the other aspects of their lives: yukhei adjusting to a life outside the sea, discovering his dream, them both growing as people because of each other. there was a lot I wanted to include and I hope the way I've done it its satisfying and doesn't feel disappointing in any way to you!</p>
<p>now, onto the epilogue!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>June, one year later.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>peep the summary if you don't usually pay attention to them! there's a big ol' timeskip here!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>	Yukhei wraps an arm around Donghyuck and pulls him closer. They’re lounging in the cave where they first met, enjoying the peace and quiet in between the familiar crashing of the waves and the gulls flying overhead. It was Donghyuck’s birthday two days ago, and they’ve only just been able to snag themselves some alone time amongst the celebrations.</p><p>	He’s twenty-seven now, Yukhei twenty-eight, and it feels like so much has changed, and yet so much has also remained the same.</p><p>	Donghyuck tangles their ankles together as he gazes out across the glittering waters in front of them. “Did you know,” he starts, “that in a couple days it’ll be two years since we first met?”</p><p>	Yukhei hums. “No I did not.”</p><p>	Donghyuck giggles: he hadn’t expected any other answer. “Isn’t it crazy how much can change in two years?”</p><p>Yukhei thinks back over the past couple of years he’s spent with Donghyuck, and he knows there’s no other option but to agree. Him of the past would never have even for a second thought that his life would be spent more out of water than in it, and happily so too. He was so content with passing each day by playing around in the ocean with his friends, never really planning past the next hour, not even considering that anything would change simply because no one had ever told him it could.</p><p>But after that fateful day in the storm, well… it was like his life turned upside down.</p><p>Everything that happened between them, all the emotions he had never felt before. It was a multitude of wild experiences that eventually led to building a music career with the man he loves with every fibre of his being.</p><p>He never expected any of it.</p><p>After Neo Zone and the live debut of their own self written songs, a few more festival offers came up; that summer, they played at least three, ending on a high as one of the smallest acts playing at Vision, which was absolutely mindblowing. High on their new-found love for being on stage and their increasing popularity—and with Taeyong as their new manager, a surprising but welcome twist—they then delved into creating their first ep. With Taeil and Yuta’s help, they stepped out of the ballad genre and experimented with soft rock, synth, and even some EDM eventually after much begging on Taeil’s part. </p><p>The response was incredible. Yukhei would frequently ask Donghyuck to pinch him, because it felt like the kind of blessing that could not be real. They weren’t famous yet, Yukhei wouldn’t say, but still—how on Earth did they get so lucky?</p><p>And of course, a lot has changed for Donghyuck, too. His book was published, and well received, although in the end he didn’t really care that much either way. He mentioned to Yukhei that he was glad it made his brother proud at least. Yukhei understood—although still not healed, Donghyuck’s relationship with Johnny has improved leaps and bounds, and because of that, their house is beginning to feel more like a home.</p><p>It feels weird, calling somewhere other than the ocean a home, but Yukhei has realised recently that that’s exactly what it is.</p><p>“I think it’s changed for the better, though, don’t you?” Yukhei says.</p><p>Donghyuck kisses the underside of Yukhei’s jaw, feeling the way his skin has  been warmed by the setting sun. “Yup. I would not change anything about my life right now.”</p><p>Despite seeing first hand how Donghyuck has changed and grown as a person over the last few months, Yukhei is still surprised by that statement. Yes, there are good days. But there are also still bad days. It’s not perfect. And Yukhei isn’t saying that he doesn’t want the bad days; he knows that’s not how life works, and anyway, he wouldn’t change anything right now either. He loves all of Donghyuck. But it still surprises him that Donghyuck feels the same.</p><p>“I didn’t expect that,” Yukhei says honestly. He props himself up on one elbow, turning to gaze down at Donghyuck. He carefully tucks a lock of hair behind Donghyuck’s ear, admiring the pretty row of fresh piercings down the shell of it.</p><p>“Why? I have everything I need,” Donghyuck murmurs, eyes flickering all over Yukhei’s face. Unable to help it, Yukhei darts down and presses a light kiss to Donghyuck’s waiting lips. “I have my annoying brother and my annoying friends. I have the beginnings of what could be an incredible career, and I have you.”</p><p>It’s been two years, but when Donghyuck says things like that with <em>that</em> look on his face, it still makes Yukhei blush so hard he thinks his face is going to fall off.</p><p>“Yeah. You have me, sunflower,” Yukhei affirms.</p><p>“We’ve had some pretty good times, haven’t we?” Donghyuck tucks one hand under his head, looking past Yukhei at the beginning of dusk creeping into the sky. The gentlest tinges of pink are already trickling in behind the wispy summer clouds, and Yukhei knows the sky is going to come alive tonight.</p><p>“The best.” Every performance, Christmas mornings, <em>every</em> morning when they wake up together. Going to the beach and watching the sunset. Road trips with Jaemin and Mark. Bubble tea dates with Jeno, who quickly became one of Yukhei’s best friends.</p><p>Whenever Yukhei really thinks about it, about their memories, he gets kind of overwhelmed with how much love he holds in his body for Donghyuck. He might have fallen pretty hard and pretty fast, hooked on Donghyuck’s essence, but it grew and grew and grew until it spilled over the edges of his heart and started flowing freely through his veins. Yes, the love of a mermaid is often likened to that of soulmates, but still—Yukhei never imagined he was someone who would or even <em>could</em> feel like this. He never thought he’d be lucky enough to have the chance to experience such deep, true love. But now, he doesn’t understand how he can get through each minute without exploding under the force of all these feelings.</p><p>His chest feels impossibly tight now as he looks down at his world. He could never get tired of looking at Donghyuck, and he knows he never wants to. Yukhei wants to be the only one allowed to see Donghyuck like this: with all his barriers down. Soft, comfortable, vulnerable, warm.</p><p>Iridescent.</p><p>	“Do you ever think about the future?” Donghyuck suddenly asks. He’s still not looking directly at Yukhei, and won’t quite do so when Yukhei tries to catch his eye, so Yukhei realises the question makes him nervous.</p><p>	“Sometimes,” Yukhei answers. “Do you, sunflower?”</p><p>	Donghyuck hums. “I do. And it scares me, because all I see is you.”</p><p>	Yukhei’s breath catches in his throat. He hesitates a moment too long, because Donghyuck turns to look at him, confused. There’s a tinge of well masked upset hidden there too, which Yukhei only sees because he knows where to look.</p><p>	“Why does that scare you, my love?” Yukhei murmurs, playing with one of Donghyuck’s curls. “I’m never going to go anywhere.”</p><p>	Donghyuck shrugs. “Just scared you’ll get tired, I guess. That you’ll decide that you miss being a mermaid too much and that you don’t wanna be here anymore. That one morning in ten or twenty years I’ll wake up and you’ll have gone home.”</p><p>	At Yukhei’s puzzled frown, Donghyuck clarifies. “Home. To the ocean.”</p><p>	Yukhei scrunches his face up, annoyed that he hadn’t noticed Donghyuck has been feeling this way before. “My home is here,” Yukhei says firmly. “Yeah, my home is also the ocean. That is a part of me I can never let go of, you know that. But you are my home too. I do miss the water, but it’s right here whenever I need it. If I choose you, I can have the best of both worlds. But if I choose the water, to be a mermaid all the time, then I can never truly have you. And that’s not what I want anymore.”</p><p>	Donghyuck sags, eyes watering as he begins to smile. Through the tears, all Yukhei sees is love, and he realises how lucky he is to have it.</p><p>	“I love you,” Donghyuck begins to say, his voice a little shaky and overcome, but it falls short as Yukhei starts tugging his shorts off and hops into the water. “Xuxi, wha—”</p><p>	Yukhei dips under the water and comes back up a second later, his tail in the place of his legs. He slicks his hair back off his forehead, thumb slipping on one of the thick pieces of seaweed embedded there.</p><p>	As usual, Yukhei scoops water into the dent of the cave floor so he can sit comfortably. Once he’s hauled himself back up next to Donghyuck, he then gets to work, jaw set in firm concentration as he digs his thumb under one of his scales. He first considered this more than a year and a half ago, and it’s about damn time he followed through.</p><p>	Donghyuck watches him do it, mouth open in horror. <em>Doesn’t that hurt?!</em> His brain is screaming at him to yank Yukhei’s hand back, but he’s too frozen by shock and confusion to do anything.</p><p>	“Xuxi?” Donghyuck draws his eyebrows together when Yukhei comes up triumphant, one pretty sparkling scale in hand. It fits snugly in the middle of his palm, shaped like a large guitar pick.</p><p>	Then, to Donghyuck’s disbelief, Yukhei reaches for his hand and presses the scale into it. “Here, sunflower. For you.”</p><p>	With his mind whirring at a thousand miles a second, Donghyuck doesn’t react at first. The scale sits in his hand, the burnt pink colour of it hot against his skin. It’s an exact replica of the colour of the sky right now: the sunset is in full bloom, raging a deep, gorgeous pink with hints of orange and gold as the sun bids the world goodnight. Then as he runs his thumb over it gently, he learns how the scale is impossibly smooth too, soft in a way he’s never felt before. This is the first time Donghyuck has been given permission to properly touch the sacred scales of Yukhei’s tail, and God, he doesn’t quite know what to do.</p><p>	The significance of Yukhei’s gift is heavy in Donghyuck’s palm, and beneath the weight of it his arm begins to ache. He vividly remembers what Yukhei told him back when they first became friends: this is commitment, dedication, a promise. This is… Donghyuck brings himself to look up at Yukhei again, and is met with the realisation that Yukhei is utterly sure of this.</p><p>	This is true love.</p><p>	“Xuxi, I—” Donghyuck swallows. “Are you proposing to me?”</p><p>	“Depends.” Yukhei shrugs, his lips curling up into a soft smile. “Would you say yes?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know this and the previous chapters were kind of short, but this was the best way to split them up. I've had this ending in my head since the beginning and I am so pleased with how it turned out.</p><p>If you made it this far, I really really hope you enjoyed my story! if you have any final thoughts or just wanna let me know you thought it was decent then please do leave a comment! I love reading them and it makes writing really worthwhile, so even if you only leave a sentence or two I'll really appreciate it. kudos too!!</p><p>to my prompter—this might not have been what you had in mind, but I had so much fun expanding on your prompt, so thank you for submitting it! I hope you liked it!</p><p>thank you so much for reading! please go and check out all the other fics from this wonderful fest! and I hope you all have a lovely day&lt;3</p>
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